the worst break up i have had, never been on the bad end..

[brooklyn_machine]

hello out there..

so its been a week, and i feel like I am over it, but it was all so confusing.

just some background, I am 30, was dating a girl for a yr and a half, she was beautiful and we had some great times..but some bad times too, throughout it all, except for the first few mos i guess, she seemed distant and later kept asking for space, but then would want to hang out etc..mixed messages and no communication were standards.

 

so lately she wanted more and more space, i tried to comply, last thurs she came over and told me that she wanted us to work things out, didnt want to break up, got teary, but also told me she was having dinner with afriend from out of state, this was a weekend i was going out of town.

as a side bar, she had stopped sleeping with me for a few weeks leading up to this..

 

so we can all put 2+2 together, and when i asked her right there if there was mroe to it, she acted shocked and mde me feel paranoid for even implying it (this was a guy i knew she had the hots for).

 

well i come home to find out that i was totally right in my concerns, she spent the weekend with him, not sure to what degree but assume she slept with him or definitely fooled around if nothing else...

 

so it was humiliating, we ended it on ugly angry terms and i stormed out.

i sent her a note saying i dont hate you and i am letting you go , just to move on for me, seh got back to me saying how bad she felt about the whole thing and even still wanted me in her life/friendship etc..and needs alone time to digest events.

 

so now i feel mixed anger, an humiliation, but some part of me still loves her and feels like we may cross paths again..but that gets stomped down by my anger..she wanted to have her cake and eat it too..and did..and now im left feeling ok and over it, but still woozy...

 

thats my story, thanks for listening.

i know it was bad when we were together, and with this other guy i really cant fathom it, but i guess some part of me still feels like we are right for eachother, i guess thats natural at this phase of things..

[eddie500]

SOunds like my last relationship I was just in.. just ended a week ago actually. Leading up to the break-up I had similar signs as you.

 

THe first major sign was not sleeping with me.. I guess when this happens in a relatoinship.. you can pretty much count the days to its going to end.

 

I questoined her if she met someone else and she got really defensive about that right away.. to this day I still don't know if she met someone else but I assume she probably did.

 

We broke up and it seems she still wants to remain friends with me.. but I'm not oging that route and i don't really respond to any of her E-mails.. only ones that I must which are more like business. I sitll feel we somehow may cross paths, but thats only becuase I have no other girl in my life right now or no other options.. so I think thats normal to try and always keep what options you have opened opened.

 

I have mixed anger also.. and it depends on the day how I feel about the whole thing. i"m happy to not have her anymore, I sometimes don't like the fact that this girl kind of rejected me.. and wonder what went wrong or what really happened.

 

But we have to face the facts and reality.. We did something wrong to turn these girls away from us. Personally I feel my ex was crazy.. But I still think that I screwed up somehow and she just didn't dig me anymore.. I'm sure you did something wrong also or she wouldn't go out and cheat on you..

[Echo]

Brooklyn...

 

I can understand the feelings you have about you and her being "right" for each other. I feel the same about a guy I was dating...but the timing was just never "RIGHT". Sometimes everything can fall in place but if the timing is wrong the it doesn't matter. I know it doesn;t seem fair...in fact it down right angers me sometimes, but it's out of my control.

All you can do is let go and move on as best you can. You guys may end up together again, but you can't force it to happen. Let her go do her thing and you go do your thing.....Life is funny sometimes. Look at it as a blessing rather than a bad thing. Maybe better things are in store for you...it's all in your mindset.

 

Good luck to you.

[Paperstreet]

Its hard to let it go and be fine. But if you show hurt/anger to her, thats all you will get in return.

[heloladies21]

Drop her, she never truly cared about you and didn't have the decency to be honest and upfront with you. The same kind of honesty you could get from a stranger on the street. No Contact all the way and don't look back.

[hoppy27]

i agree with helloladies 100%. walk away and dont look back.

[brooklyn_machine]

no i know you guys are right..

i definitely pushed her away at times as i would be insecurish around her, and tend to be introspective and brooding and she wanted light and happy all the time.

the other thing shes non confrontational to a fault and refuses to really communicate, we were starting to get through that but then all this happened..;.i guess i couldve sat back and not commented and things may have sorted themselves out between us, but i couldnt live with myself then, i feel like it was inevitable with this guy eventually, she hadnt seen him in 2 yrs and slept with him the first weekend she saw him.

 

blech..to make matters worse, i found out she had the hots for him by reading an email i wasnt supposed to..all so convoluted and twisted..ignorance can be bliss , but better to live in the truth i suppose.

 

thanks for the kind words and insights

[eddie500]

SHe cheated on you.. so you had no choice but to dump her like you did. Of course you didn't dump her she dumped you when she cheated on you, didn't sleep with you, grew distant etc. Thats the real dumping there.

 

 

IF I knew my last girl cheated on me or even fooled around wth someone I would drop her in a second and leave.