The Edge

[TheOneAndOnly]

Today is 4th of July. Happy 4th of July to everyone who celebrates it.

 

: The Edge :

 

My girlfriend and I are laying in bed, awake. We were both really horney before we went to lay down. And we both knew it. So we are laying down and I began to caress her back and shoulders. slowly I begin to move my way down her back. Around her hips. Grabbed her butt alittle, you know just squeezed it alittle bit. Then I began to masage her with one hand while my other hand goes in between her legs and gently brushes up against her (you know) and I tease her alittle. Use both hands on her shoulders and work my way down alittle bit. Anyways I go down to her (you know) and she whispers "baby, stop" So I said, whats wrong. She said " you are always just touching me there. you never take time to get me in the mood." I was at silence. I had just been rubbing her legs and feet and touching her everywhere for like 20 minutes. then she says " you have to get the woman to want you to touch her there." I said, so how am I supposed to do it. She said, "you used to do it before. Now your like cut to the point" after she said that, I said... "So how am I supposed to know if what im doing is doing anything for you." she says "just lear. try different things without touching there and make me want you to touch me there." Its like we are playing a game, thats what I think. I do everything for her and now I have to work to make her want to make love to me. She never initiates it anymore. She never starts the sexual precedure. The last time I just stopped asking or initiating it and I went without it for two weeks. I never used to have to initiate it. She always used to want me. I have to play the "touch her everywhere else on her body (so I can get horney) and she might give it to me or she might fall asleep. And then im frustrated for the rest of the night. It disappointed me when she said, "you should let me come to you." I should have told her " I did, but you didnt come to me for 2 weeks and if I hadnt have made a move, I probably still would be waiting." But I didnt.

I never said that to her. Instead, I just shut my mouth and closed my eyes. So alittle while passes and shes brushing me with her feet down my legs and then she rappps one of her legs around me and stays at that position. I started to rub her stomach and didnt touch her down there at all but just around it. Trying to make her want me to touch her there. Playing the game. And right when I thought she was going to grab my neck or run her fingers threw my hair, she un-rapps her legg and turns around. So I keep playing the game and rubbing her back and legs. she keeps tossing and turnning. Trying to go to sleep, so I didnt say anything. Nothing happened that whole night.

 

Well today after work...I went to her friends house to pick her up. We went and got jack n the box and I drove her home. She looked at me and said, you dont look happy with me. I told her, baby, I am happy with you. I have just been really horney lately and sexually frustrated. She said, "what am I supposed to do ___________, have sex with you in the car right now? I have 45 minutes until Ive got to be home. I said its not that baby, Its just what you said last night and how I try but nothing happened." Then she automatically got defensive and said 'Damnit, another sex issue. " She gets mad and says, " Im not arguing right now, and she shuts my car door right before I tell her I said "dont shut the car door" and she did. So I just drove off.

 

Im on the edge. I love her but I dont think she has the same feelings for me. Out of all these games shes trying to play and all of the bullshit. I mean, cmon. what does it take to get laid 2wice a week? Is it not normal for her to not initiate the sex as well?

[worriedman]

I think this is almost certainly a sign that she either doesn't love you any more or that she doesn't find you sexually attractive any more. Either way you could be in trouble.

 

When my relationship with my wife was at its best, sex was initiated by either of us, when we were in less good times, it was down to me.

[SwingFox]

Hello TheOneAndOnly,

 

I am sorry to read what you are going through. I understand that you are very unhappy and disappointed at the moment. You asked wether your situation is normal or not.

 

My suggestion would be to focus on what you are going to do about all this, rather than worrying why all this is happening to you. It looks like that communication is the key to solving this problem. My advice is that you think hard over what exactly it is that is all bothering you and that you then sit down with your girlfriend and have a big talk to her about all this. Explain her that you love her very much and that she is the one and only for you. Then explain your concerns, varying sweet words with words of concern.

 

Wether she likes it or not, she will have to work constructively with you to meet somewhere in the middle. See how far she is meeting you and if you are satisfied with her solution. If you are than I guess it all got solved. If not, you might need to evaluate your relationship with her and might come to some painful conclusions. I don't believe that this situation will be very satisfying for you in the future.

 

I hope that this helped you and I wish you good luck.

 

~ SwingFox ~