Help... Please.

[Mythica]

I have a poblem. I have a new bf, and I've never been kissed. Well, he's promised me my first kiss tomorrow. The only thing is, I think he is the one. I really like him, even though he isn't the cutest of them all. But his bday is on the same day as mine, but he is exactally one year younger than me. I'll be turning 15, and him 14. The problem is, I'm ready, I think. I have like, an overactive sex drive, so I'm masterbating like once a day at least. I'm ready, but I haven't talked it out with him. Can anyone help me?

[stratguy620]

OK, you never actually said it in the post, but by the forum this was posted in, and by your post, I'm guessing you want to sleep with this guy? Well, I would advise against it for several reasons. Mainly, you are both very young, and I doubt you are capable of handling the consequences, both physical and emotional, that come with sex. Also, you haven't even been kissed, yet you think you are ready for sex? I think there are a couple steps you are missing there in between the two...

[Mythica]

Well, as I've said. I have an overactive sex-drive. It's hard to explain, but I do. I mean, i have to stop myself from "helping myself" in the bathrooms. It can be murderouse.

 

P.S. Please talk to me as if I was your age. I don't appreciate being classified. I am very educated on this stuff thx to my older sister.

[Mythica]

Oh, btw. I have known this guy for years.

[stratguy620]

Yes, you are 15, and it's perfectly normal to be that way right now. But like I said, there are a few other parts of the progression to sex. I think that going straight from not being kissed to sex would be very unhealthy for you. And, also like I said, have you considered the ramifications of sex? Diseases, pregnancies, emotional pain? You are very young, so I would take it slowly...

[jna35]

I agree with stratguy620. Sex is a HUGE step! And you're talking about having sex with a guy whom you haven't even kissed. Strat wasn't trying to talk down to you; he was just trying to get you to see the whole picture. It is very normal for you to have these sexual feelings, but don't jump into something you are not ready for. Make sure you have thought it through and are prepared for any consequences that may arise because of it.

[ScreenagerX]

Whats the hurry?

 

Leading up to you first kiss is very exciting. The first time you "mess around" with someone in private is very exciting also. I know I went back multiple times just to "mess around" before I actually slept with a girl (I was 18). These "mess around" sessions are a perfect stepping stone for leading up to the "main event". As a teenager I would enjoy these while you still can because as you get older alot of people forget about it altogether & just go straight to the main event. Of course when it is done "messing around" becomes foreplay.

 

Don't be in such a hurry to skip the stepping stones. Enjoy them

[elaineska]

I'm 17 and I had your "problem" especially when I was 13-14. Having sex isn't going to lower your sex drive. My advice is to wait until you're old enough to be in a commited relationship and mature enough to handle the possible consequences of sex before engaging in it. That way, you can enjoy it with someone you really love. But I'm not you so I can't decide for you.

But if you two do decide to do this... please remember that condoms CAN break. You could be at risk for something that could change your life forever (and I don't mean in a good way). I recommend you wait.

[trailor22]

Hi,

I agree with Spader. Whats the hurry? Especially since you have not experienced your first kiss at all or with him. It is fun to get that first kiss. and then get another one the next night. and then making out the next week. You get the idea. Just move gradually and take all the precautions that you can. It is good that you believe you have found the one. Just take your time.

 

I too was very sexually active with a girl that I was with when we were 15 and 16 years old. I thought that maybe I had found the one. But fooling around at such a young age ended up being not the way to go. the relationship ended very badly. And both are parents found out about the things we had been doing. All of that within of a year. so just be careful, and there is nothing wrong with waiting a couple of years and dating just to see how things go.

[savagegal]

i agree with other posts..girl, its not the end of the world so why the rush and that feeling u have for that guy has nothing to do bec. ur with same bday k? if u want us to talk to u like in our age better take the safer side and understand why we are so concern about u..there millionof guys there and u need to be ready first to engage in sex...if ur tired of having masturbating well u need to focus ur attention that sex drives....it appears to me that u dont love that man but rather u want him to be an outlet for ur sexual drives and it will surely drive him nuts....whenim in your age i also had a bf and felt like he's the one and w edo alot of sexual stuff when we were 16 but uknow what entering in a relationship is not all about sex...believe me..

[Shadows Light]

I understand where you're coming from. I think that at your age, puberty kicked in and I found myself fantasizing and masterbating quite often.

 

However, its a long long way from there to ....Sex with a man.

 

You're older sister educated you. Congrats. I wish I'd had an older sister. And we didn't have computers or internet, let alone ENOT to learn from or talk to. You are very lucky.

 

I think one of the other posters already alluded to it. Having SEX with this boy is not going to ALLEVIATE the want and need you are craving.

 

First of all... you are young and never been kissed. There lots of things to learn and do before you get to intercourse.

 

A boy of 14... what are the odds he's been kissed??? And what are the odds that he knows what he's doing??? seriously... sex at both your ages... maybe he may be fufilled in 15 seconds tops. But you will be left with that need, want, and yearning.

 

All very normal. All due to the hormones ping-ponging through a body that is "JUST" entering a new phase in life. Knowing what is happening to you.. knowing what those hormones are all about... will give you some perspective. Do a bit more reading, more research. And maybe more on the biology side of it.. then the emotional sides that your teen friends will tell you about.

 

No, I don't think you should have sex with this boy. I think you should wait. I think you should wait and yeah.. maybe have your first kiss. Enjoy... enjoy kissing. Enjoy necking. Bask in those feelings. You may find that you feel a sense of fufillment from that alone.

 

If you don't intend to follow anyones advice here on WAITING.. then at least educate yourself on protecting yourself. Go to family planning in your area.. and get on the pill and use condoms. VERY IMPORTANT. You want to grow up to enjoy a long healthy sex life??? then protect yourself. Its not just getting pregnant that is at issue... its getting a nasty STD.

 

Seriously... take it from someone who waited. I was 18 when I lost my virginity. And even at age 18... I thought i was ready. My body told me it was ready. When it came down to it... I was not emtionally ready for it. And it was a bad experience. Good sex... and Good love... doesn't happen until you are much older. Both you and your partner. AT age 14???? its non-existant. Trust me.

 

I'd wait a few years if I were you. I'd enjoy all the other little discoveries you are making. And... when you do choose to sleep with someone for the very first time.. by all means, make sure you are IN LOVE with them. And make it a special place.. and a special time. Becuase you will carry that experience with you for the rest of your life.