can some1 who WAS gay become straight

[rosalyn1223]

ok one of my friends was straight n then a guy randomly asked him out n he said yea...so they went out n had sex n did other stuff....then they broke up n then he went out w/this girl n he seemed happy then he went out with this other guy..n broke up with him then later on back with his ex all while dating this girl...but the a little while after that told her her that this other guy likes him n she said it sounded like he liked him to but then he said he is done being in that world....but after everything he has done ot her can he really be straight again or will he always be BI after having sex with a man???

[L8RISER]

Having sex a couple times with the same gender does not mean you are gay or bi...though it could. Some gay men used to be married. You'll just have to wait n see.

[Emotional]

good question...if he wants to be str8

right now, maybe he decided havin sex

w/ a male isnt as cut out as he thought it

would be...

[UT]

You know. Having sex once or twice might only be exparimenting or being open-minded. VERY open-minded.

 

but I think you friend either is confused or bi. no hame in that. He should be proud of what he is.

[dzadze]

In football, the quarterback is always a quaterback and the receiver is always the receiver,

 

i dont think its possible to changed!!!

[hazlcha]

Yes, he is probably straight, but just acted out gay. The difference for many guys is simply being curious. I don't think most "gay" guys really are, but they just get into it because it's also sexual pleasure, and can be habit forming. They can get into girls just as easily (NO PUN INTENDED!)

 

One more point - it's really important to think not about "what I'd like to do," but "which human being I'd like to be with." A lot of sex happens with indiscriminate partners, both genders, because the person just wants to have sex. Who they do it with isn't an issue for them. I believe that's really unhealthy, and it prevents relationships from being true. The other is just an object, maybe well-treated, but still an object. It's best to connect with a person who wants you as a person, who couldn't be interested in sex with any other person, because they are not you.

 

Hope you find it.

[darkblue]

He is - whatever he is.

No use in labelling him.

 

If he cannot even label himself; nor you or we can do it.

If he wants to date a guy; he's still your friend (if you so choose), and similarly if he dates a girl.

 

What does it matter?

[jna35]

I agree with Dark Blue 100%.

[nuts]

I don't think most "gay" guys really are, but they just get into it because it's also sexual pleasure, and can be habit forming. They can get into girls just as easily

 

im sure many a gay man would have you done for slander with a comment like that! i dont agree whatsoever. i think that attraction can come from many different things: physical, emotional, whatever. for that reason some people might be able to bounce from one sex to another without thinking anything of it. on the other hand, some think the idea of one sex is mortifying.

 

its all just individual preference. maybe the guy in question really is done with guys because after trying it out, it just wasnt his thing. whatever the real answer is, as his friend, if you respect him and his lifestyle, let him go with it. he'll figure himself out in time.

[novaseeker]

I don't think most "gay" guys really are, but they just get into it because it's also sexual pleasure, and can be habit forming. They can get into girls just as easily

 

im sure many a gay man would have you done for slander with a comment like that! i dont agree whatsoever.

 

Yeah I don't agree either. For some people perhaps it is a choice. For bisexual oriented people of course they can choose to entertain one or the other of their attractions. But some folks are simply same-sex attracted ... the idea that it's a sexual pleasure habit is really homophobic.

[hazlcha]

There's a big debate about whether gay people are genetically programmed that way, or whether it is a learned behavior. There has been research with contradictory results. It's not slander to take either position.

 

A poster pointed out that there are many forms of attraction, and that is certainly true. What happens in our society all too often is that we confuse sex with love. There's a lot of pressure to prove your love with sex. That's an unhealthy attitude, in my opinion. Just look at the names we use for these groups: homo-sexual, bi-sexual, hetero-sexual. Why do people have to be indentified by who they sleep with? Too much focus on sex here, and not enough on humanity. Let's start identifying ourselves by our values instead.

 

At any rate, it's not necessarily homosexuality to be attracted to a member of the same gender. It may actually be a true form of friendship that leads to sexual experimenting. That is the situation as I see it with rosalyn1223s post, and it is very common.

[novaseeker]

There's a big debate about whether gay people are genetically programmed that way, or whether it is a learned behavior. There has been research with contradictory results. It's not slander to take either position.

 

The 'they learned it' position mostly revolves around early childhood experiences and environmental situations (as opposed to innate nature) but which eventually coalesces into an attractional preference (and, for the record, I agree that this is a viable theory of sexual/affectional orientation), but that wasnt the position you took, at least as I understand it. The position you took seemed to be that these people are not 'gay' in terms of orientation at all, but that they simply got into a habit of homosexual activity based on sexual pleasure. I haven't seen much written in support of that latter position (ie, a sexual-pleasure based habit) for 'gay' people other than from Christian groups, who clearly have an ideological axe to grind based on the critical attitude of most Christian groups towards 'active' homosexuality.

 

A poster pointed out that there are many forms of attraction, and that is certainly true. What happens in our society all too often is that we confuse sex with love. There's a lot of pressure to prove your love with sex. That's an unhealthy attitude, in my opinion. Just look at the names we use for these groups: homo-sexual, bi-sexual, hetero-sexual. Why do people have to be indentified by who they sleep with? Too much focus on sex here, and not enough on humanity. Let's start identifying ourselves by our values instead.

 

That's why I prefer the term 'affectional orientation', because it implies love and emotional connection in addition to the sexual expression of that. I agree that it's about more than sex.