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Keep Fighting!


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Ive been here on these boards for while. Like you soul searching, thinking about my ex and what I can do to get them back.

 

I did so looking and found this:

 

link removed.

 

Reading it made me think about how wonderful these people and not to take for grant the people out there that take the time to read our stories and problems. They find the strength to go on. I know whats its like to face the morning and wonder why get up. Going thru the day feeling lonely. Dont get me wrong I am not attacking anybody here who posts, as I have used this site aswell. I posted my story about my ex a while back and found a good friend from these boards that has helped me when I was feeling really low and down.

 

The reason I went looking was because this relates to my situation. Made me think about how selfish Ive been in think what I wanted. I love my more than she will ever know, but love her enough to carry on with life. People go on about NC, but whats it for. I think its to let you think about you and what type of person you are and want to be. There may be issues that we cant fix and so we can. We can only fix ourselfs and not others. This is what Iam doing with my ex, giving her space so she can find herself aswell. Think about it, I was trying to force somebody to be with me. Again I am letting her go, but letting her know that I will be there for her if she needs me, even though alot of messed up things have happen between us. Looking at the above site has learned me a few things and was a bit of a wake up call.

 

I am trying to give back what I have taken, and will be supporting this site and the other one as much as I can. Dont attack people who are trying to help you. Ive read some people having a go at the kind hearted people that post here. Maybe helping others will help you.

 

Keep going because its worth the fight.

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I totally agree with you friend.

 

I am hurting badly, but i am beginning to realise, I dont 'own' my girlfriend, I dont 'control' her also. So now im thinking I must let her go her own way.

 

If she wants me, she will call me and get in touch. I dont own her life - she must mkae her own choices. If she wants me then she will call me. If not, I WILL find somebody else

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I totally agree with you friend.

 

I am hurting badly, but i am beginning to realise, I dont 'own' my girlfriend, I dont 'control' her also. So now im thinking I must let her go her own way.

 

If she wants me, she will call me and get in touch. I dont own her life - she must mkae her own choices. If she wants me then she will call me. If not, I WILL find somebody else

 

so wishing that i could accept your wisdom for myself. Read all my posts and you'll see why im so scared. She changed and is going out more and meeting new people. It's been only a week since it ended and she is doing a fine job keeping herself occupied and busy with whoever. It is so hard to keep that mind thought of you cant control her and dont own her, i know it is fact but i feel as if she now has her freedom and is living it up and i have to sit by and do nothing

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Normal Man

 

Realize that this is how she is dealing with the breakup. It wont be like this forever. If she really loves you, it will hit her one day. The heart cannot be silenced forever. My ex was completely fine with the breakup a week after. Now, 7 weeks later, she is missing me. It takes some time.

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Normal Man

 

Yea my ex did this, she got with somebody after 3 days. This was the a major kick in the balls. Since our 3 month split she been out with a few other people. If your ex is making a point of letting you know about this, she is looking for a reaction.

 

Again your not alone, as I said ive had this. Its been NC for about 4 days. But during her dating she would always contact me. People sometimes like to paint a happy face but deep down they are sad inside.

 

Mate I know your hurting and cant stop thinking about her with others. Your at the start of your race and you will be the winner.

 

PM me if you need to talk.

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So I was wondering, my ex is missing me but I dont know how much. I do know that its enought to realize that I was a good person and that I treated her well. I want to talk to her, but she is the type of person who would be scared to call. She is very strong willed and it wouldnt surprise me if she wanted to call but forced herself not to. Also, I realized that I neglected her the last 6 months of our relationship and took her for granted.

 

I am stronger now and dont intend on talking about us or anything. Just how things are going. Basically show her that I do care and that I will listen to her. Its been 2 weeks since our last contact and 3.5 weeks since we last talked on the phone. I dont expect anything out of the call but I just want her to know that I am there for her if she wants to talk to me.

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Coooolsome and Notmyself I am in the same boat as you...

 

Have been broken for 3.5 months and she is seeing someone else who does not treat her very well, started seeing him within 2 weeks of our breakup...I have NC for 5 weeks now and she does not try and contact anymore...

 

She is also very stubborn so I guess my chances are not very good...

 

Would like a little glimmer, all I have is I know we love each other very much...

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Guys I am so gald you are posting here how you feel, btter here than telling your ex's. I guess we are all stuck on the same boat. Not sure if it will sink or we are wise enough to jump into the first life raft.

 

Well I am up to day 5 of NC. Ive was asked out on a date last night which was a total shock. This girl is really nice and we went out and had a good time. Maybe it was a bit of a distraction but it felt good.

 

Looking at my situation, it has been over 3 months since my ex split up with me. Does she miss me, I guess yes. Why do I say this, well she always contacts me wants to do somethink and gives away no clue as to what is going thru her mind. This always had me guessing, and have me being too scared to bring up anything about us. It was like this for about a month. I didnt bring anything up and so did she. Yes she was confusing me and I was confusing myself. We did some b/f and g/f stuff but nothing of real value.

 

I have no magic words or answers but I know each of us are in the same boat.

 

Your ex's will keep contact, they love that feeling that you are still there for them. I will tell you straight, dont worry if they have a new man. My ex has had few since our split and she kept contact because I was stupid enough to allow her to use me as a backup. Its part of a game, they want to see if your happier than them. Other games will be played, eg. having pretend boyfriends, and yes Ive had that aswell. Have any of you guys had them calling or talking out a load as if they where calling a new b/f or date. Thats part of the game thats being played. Some girls like the power.

 

The result we all want is to be happy and back with our ex's but if you play there game, you will lose as they can set the rules or change them and we will follow. People on this forum may say this is bad advice but play your own game. If they call, oh sorry I am just on my way out cant talk to you but will call later. Dont call and I bet they will call again or text you to find out why you didnt call back. Thats a cover to see what you up too. Dont answer or text back that evening. They may then expect you to call the following day. Dont, sit tight and dont call or text. If they call or text again you know they are thinking about you which is a good thing. You must not give in. Getting back together means it must come from them and chasing. I am doing nothing to get my ex back. All Ive had is my ex playing games. I am going to play my own game and sort myself out. This is a one player game only.

 

All the best and good luck.

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I was doing so well all last week with limited contact. Saw her out last night and we talked, she cried, we talked, I held her consoled her. She was drinking during the night so maybe thats why she let me get semi-close. I sort of did a dick thing cause my emotions were nuts, i made her come in my house to "talk" while talking i made my advances and we had sex, probably worst sex we have ever had together.....I drove her home and she told me she was moving in with 2 girls from work cause she needed a new start farther away from our hometown. We talked today and she was upset about last night and didnt know what to say. I lost it again today and called her work several times to talk and plead, which pissed her offf beyong beleif...strange to say but i felt like i couldnt help calling and basically pleading for her not to move. She responded to one of my "why why why" type emails with I have to let you go. It's not fair to you letting u hang on. I told u how I feel and I still mean it, but I dont knwo whats good for me know and i need to figure it out.

 

Im done....sorry i think i might have posted this in another thread also...

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