Can an ex be genuine

[Hleb]

Split with my ex after 2 year - been 5 months now. She went straight into another relationship.We talked now and again via email where she would always make sure she mention her man indirectly or directly or what they have done. Once she admitted said it was going to fast. I have been doing NC for a while and now she SMS me asking how i'm doing?

 

Do ex's genuinely want to know how their partner is doing hoping they are doing well or Ok or is it just to make sure they can stay in control of that person?

 

If I felt she was genuine then I wouldn't mind talking opening up a bit but I feel she wants to prove a point especially the way she reacted in emails.

 

Also for those who find someone do u think abt your ex too contact them evry week to find out what they are doing?

Especially during the "honeymoon period".........surely if you're happy the last person you want to contact is your ex?

[NewPhillyGuy]

In your case, it sounds like the person just wants be in control. She probably just wants to make sure you are miserable, because that makes her feel good. If you are upset about hearing about what she's doing with other guys, it makes her feel like you still want her. It's the most messed up thing in the world. Don't give her the pleasure of knowing she's hurting you.

 

If I were you, I would just not respond. I don't know the circumstances, but it sounds like she left you and wants to keep you miserable. Let her know that you are just fine without her. Go date some other women, and tell her to share her info with someone who actually cares.

[jordan_2]

I personally think that the best way to "get back" (for lack of a better term) at someone, is to be happier than them.

 

If you show your ex that you are genuinly living a happier life without them, what are they going to say?

lol

you would kind of leave them wondering how you can be happier.

 

just my opinion, but remember don't exaggerate anything, and be genuinly happy.

 

Show them that you have not been phased the slightest bit because of the break up

[heloladies21]

Stay in No Contact at all costs. If she jumped into a new relationship, she disrespected you and never deeply cared about you anyways.

 

She might be trying to ease her guilt for hurting you (because people usually don't like hurting other people), or she might be trying to see if you're still around "just in case" she changes her mind (which never happens).

 

In any case, it's a dead issue because you'd never be able to trust her to not pull this again. No Contact all the way, and do your best to talk to lots of other girls.

[Hleb]

I don't care for her in a relationship way - I just tried to be civil. We "agree" to be friends after the breakup but when we arrange to meet she would always cancel though that was straight after the breakup and i guess she loved that control. I have wished her well in her life which includes her new man. I think she wanted me to react badly. She started leaving kisses on emails and i told her that wasn't right...I haven't tried to get back with her and the more i don't talk the more intrigue she become.

 

Jordan, You're right I am happier and she wonders why I'm not displaying hurt or hate? I think she is not as happy as she makes out and wonders why.

 

I do wonder if she is making an effort to be friends after everything has settled down. I wanted to be friends but I didn't like the character she was turning in to.

[Hleb]

Heloladies21 - I think she is trying to keep me as a backup - I don't think she will change her mind unless I make a move cos she hates being on her own (never been without a man for more than a month in the last 8 yrs) I don't think she will risk that situation !!

[Hleb]

Has anyone stayed friends with ex - How did you approach it? What are the signs to look for whether they want to be friends or just to be in control?

[heloladies21]

Friends with exes is never a good idea. Both sides are always looking for something different (example dumpee looking to get back together and dumper trying to ease guilt, keep as security blanket, etc.). It never works out in the end.

[Green and Purple]

Are exes really impossible as friends? Anybody have any success on that? I tried to be friends with an ex and we ended up being attached again. We broke up in like 1999 and recently we got back together again. I had thought it was a good time to be friends again but guess that's wrong. I would really like to know of anybody out there who had any sucess being friends with their exes.

[skyjuice]

hi

 

Yes there are people could be friends after a period of healing.

I read this from other post.