single4good Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 I need to vent this is all becoming too much... Tonight I went out for the 4 billionth time and the 4 billionth consecutive time I was made to feel like I was no more interesting than the paint on the wall. I am and always have been your typical nice guy but I am really sick of getting treated like trash because of it. I am to the stage now where I have no respect left for women....In my circle of friends of 5 males I am the only one who has NEVER had a g/f. Although each one of these guys are my friends each one of them has cheated on thier g/f.....meanwhile here I am Mr Nice guy whould NEVER cheat on a girl ...single...single the year after...single for every year. It is to the point now where my family at Christmas joke that I must be gay. I dont blame them...I would think the same. It has nothing to do with my looks...I know this, so dont pull the whole self confidence *beep* on me. I am confident and I am goodlooking I am 6ft4 tall and very athletic with so called dark looks but...I am also (or was) a NICE GUY. This is obviosuly where I fall down with girls. They would rather date jackasses who take drugs working at McDonalds and tell me what a great b/f they have. I really dont think I will bother going out again. It is more or less banging my head into a brick wall. Nothing but girls working as check out chicks thinking they are too good for me...what a god damn joke. To make matters worst and to just illustrate how much in a females favor the whole nightclub/bar scene is. I was rejected from two clubs because I was not on the "guest list" hahaha there is no guest list just an obvious ploy to keep single males out. Hell females dont even have to line up or pay a cover charge they just walkon in like they are some kind of celbrity. Discrimination? you bet ya. So this is where I am now at. A nice guy turned sour by the *beep* thrown in his face. And people wonder why there is a glass ceeling in business for females....just guys like me with the sh!t thrown in thier face...would you be any different? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 ooohh! ooohhh! What's your number? Honestly, you sound quite appealing to me, and other sane single women. Being too "nice" isn't the problem, but I think if it seems like you are overly accomadating, that can be a turn off. Cast your net wide. Keep looking. I hope you meet a girl that appreciates you! Link to comment
jevonj77 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 What kind of women do you usually go after? Which ones do you find yourself usually trying to talk to? Link to comment
single4good Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 I go after girls who I think are nice and that I am attracted too. I am not your normal shark who will go from one girl to another. I have to feel something towards them. Most the time this just leaves me hurt when they chose some other guy over me who is a garbo and that I cant for the life of me understand why they would find anything about them attractive or interesting. But still they insist that he is such a great guy...obviously I am not. At least in thier peanut brain. Link to comment
Raspberry Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Most the time this just leaves me hurt when they chose some other guy over me who is a garbo and that I cant for the life of me understand why they would find anything about them attractive or interesting. But still they insist that he is such a great guy...obviously I am not. At least in thier peanut brain.Your contempt for (some) other people might very well be showing through. Not necessarily verbally, but in your attitude and how you treat or act towards "garbos" and "peanut-brained" people and so forth. Link to comment
single4good Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 No chance of it. I would never speak down to people like that particuarly infront of a girl I was interested in. I am just venting on here and very angry right now. I just question the logic in females who pick guys like this who would cheat on them over somebody who is nice and stand by them no matter what. Link to comment
Jaela Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Single4good, where are you mainly going to meet potential gfs? My friends find random guys all the time at nightclubs. Some of them have somewhat 'cheated' in these circumstances as well (dancing provocatively / making out with random guys while all ready being involved). I find it distasteful and can't stand that whole scene, personally. I'm sorry to hear your experiences have left you feeling no respect for women in general, but not all women are like this Link to comment
jevonj77 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Do you usually go to the same kinds of places to meet these women? Ok...I can feel your pain...you are really angry right now...and I guess that's ok...after all you said you wanted to vent. I suggest maybe broadening your scope a little...I know what you mean when you say you go after certain girls that you think are nice and such...I was like that for a long time, this caused me to turn down quite a few women and also to only be looking for a particular kind. Once you have seen what you kind of like and why, I think you can deviate from that a little...maybe change up the places...types of places that you go...I use to find it hard to really get a certain girl at a club because they are usually looking for that crazy out there kind of guy...I would get some numbers though...but it would be from the girl that was not a regular there...besides that I just look good( slightly kidding)...however, I wouldn't focus too much on that scene although it could be a good one. There are other venues that attract other kind of women. Like if you see a woman at a club that looks nice...this could mean many things. Maybe she just looks like that because of her job, but that doesn't mean she wants a guy like that or thinks that way...there are nice ones too, but they usually I think hang with some group of people that they already know and such...for this reason it is also kind of hard to get with them since they do not come with that in mind. You may also want to look at your technique for trying to get with these women. Maybe you are trying too hard and they kind of feel like you think by this you will get them...some women don't want you to try hard but for you to just be you(whatever that means)...and if you are not good...they don't want you. It's a kind of crazy thing since you have to try in order to get with a woman, but it can't seem like you are putting on an act...you have to judge this one. Lastly, if you continue to do the same thing and are expecting different results... You got to analyze what it is that you do when you speak to women.. come up with what that is and then decide to change it. The beginning of fixing a problem is to first realize that you have a problem...then you need to find out what that problem is. After you have found this problem you must find out how to fix it...and in a case like this, I guess the thing is to do the opposite of what you have been doing, in many ways. Link to comment
1899 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Well we really dont know what hes doing "wrong". single4good, How old are you? How many women have you went out with? Do women at times flirt with you? Are you self sufficient? Are you shy are outgoing? I suspect it may be your behaviour but with such little information we are all just shooting in the dark. Id like to help you though because I feel the way you do sometimes, fortunatly, most of my "aquaintences" my age are still single and are not in a serous relationship either so i dont feel a need to rush anything. Link to comment
busterkeaton Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 It would help us if we knew how old you are. If you are trying to meet girls in nightclubs then you will usually only meet a certain type of girl (superficial as a rule) also it can be noisy and it may not be possible to let your personality come though (as everything has to be communicated by shouting!) The competition is fierce there as well, there are plenty or "pros" trolling around nightclubs and they know exactly what to say and do, plus they work in packs. One of best place is meet girls would be at nightschool classes - non credit, self improvement type classes. Not auto mechinics classes either. I would go for art or cooking or something. Skip the flower arranging or needlepoint though It can be frustrating to meet girls but you have to believe that there are women out there who are just as frustrated by their inability to meet nice men as well. Another tip - never underestimate the power of just being friends with girls. They have sisters, cousins and other friends. Don't come on too strong, just be friendly and courteous. There are also singles clubs etc but if you are under 30 then that probably isn't where you want to be. I hope this helps Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Listen, instead of complaining, why don't you try changing your approach? You can stop being nice and start being you. I'm going to pm you a site on how to get girls. Study hard, but don't give up. Don't try harder, try different. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Another tip - never underestimate the power of just being friends with girls. They have sisters, cousins and other friends. Don't come on too strong, just be friendly and courteous. Totally agree. Enjoy the friendship. Plus, she may have a cute roommate she'd like to introduce you to. Don't try to be someone that you're not. Eventually, they'll get to know the real you, and if you pretend to be someone else, they're going to see right through it and move on. ie, you snag a girl by acting like a "bad boy." Well, if she likes being emotionally abused, and then you start acting like yourself (nice), she's going to break up with you because she's bored. Better to find girls that appreciate nice guys, and yes, night classes are a good place for that. And why are you trying to find a gf in the bars anyways? Bars are for hookups, not for soulmates! Link to comment
jordan_2 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 I agree with the posters here I think the fact that you are hanging out in nightclubs attempting to find true love is somewhat ignorant (sorry to say). I think that you need to realize that most (if not every) girl that goes to a club is there just to have a night of fun, nothing more, nothing less, so i think your area for searching for this woman of your dreams is ending up in a dead end the second you enter a club. Not to say it's not possible, it's just not the best place to go to in hopes of finding true love. how old are you? there may be places where you can go to and be social but with more promising chances of finding someone that is more symmetrical with you. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Yeah, the only time I've had relationships or quasi-relationships or whatever form out of bars was when we were in a group of mutual friends, all hanging out together.... Link to comment
wlfpack81 Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 single4good... I feel ya pain man. Do what you have to do (as long as it's legal of course)!!! If that means giving into the hate then so be it. If you hold it back then eventually it's all going to come out at once in a violent fashion possibly. So better to let off bits of steam from time to time. Good luck. Link to comment
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