Tata Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 HI everyone! I'm new here! I've been reading through all the posts and everyone seems very intresting and cool! I just wanted to turn to you guys for a little advice. I have been with my boyfriend for a while and I love him very much! We are actually planning our wedding for next summer. Well last week I was using his computer and was browsing through the history and found a lot of porn web sites, well to me thats very normal, I watch porn and browse porn sites, but his sites were like "virgens gone wild" and "hot teens" type and that disturbed me, is it just me that finds this a little weird? I think I would have been OK if they were regular adult porn sites... I mean the girls were teenagers, not little girls that would have been worse!!! right? What do YOU think? Link to comment
arwen Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 A lot of porn sites will open up other sites when you enter them. I can imagine you are bothered by it, but it's my guess that this happened. Did you discuss this with him? Ilse. Link to comment
Tata Posted September 30, 2005 Author Share Posted September 30, 2005 A lot of porn sites will open up other sites when you enter them. I can imagine you are bothered by it, but it's my guess that this happened. Did you discuss this with him? Ilse. Well, I know for a fact that he has been going to those sites because all the images have been clicked on, and no, I haven't said anything yet, because I don't know if this is really considered weird. I know I should tell him how I feel about it but I don't know how to start that conversation, we are very open with each other but for some reason this makes me feel very uneasy... Link to comment
Ms Omaniac Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 i dont think it's weird...but maybe that's just me. the stuff i find weird are the illegal stuff. anything else to me is just a different male fantasy. he may look at hot LEGAL teens one day and then hot asian chicks another. if he concentrates on just teens...that doesnt surprise me either though. i wouldnt have a big deal with it....but i know others here might. - ivy Link to comment
Tata Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 I know what you mean Ms Omaniac, I guess my "issue" is just the "teen" part of the porn, 'cause I don't have a problem with it I like to watch porn!!! and he tells me he watches porn, actually he told me yesterday that he has had nothing to do with porn since we've been together... why lie?! I told him that was BS! and he started laughing... which I thought was kinda funny! but I was just wondering if he would find porn on my laptop and it was all lets say asian guys, would he think that's weird? or have an issue with that?... I mean I cant expect for him to like what I like porn-wise but it's still a little weird for me... Link to comment
confusdedinmaine Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 my question is how old is your bf because if hes in his 20's like i see you are then i don't believe that there is a any problem with it. Not to mention the fact that teens are usually not teens at all they are usually in their early 20's. I wouldn't be concerned with it at all. Link to comment
Tata Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 He's almost 30... I mean I understand that guys like porn, my brother is 19 and he is always in "teen" sites and that to me is normal it's his age range but the fact that my husband likes only this, makes me a little upset... and it doesn't help that he denies browsing porn sites, thats just weird to me... Link to comment
OceanEyes Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 and it doesn't help that he denies browsing porn sites, thats just weird to me... I know exactly what you mean here. Most guys will say something like "it's really no big deal", but then to sneak around and lie about it? Seems unjust. Whether he's ashamed or doesn't want to upset you, or for whatever reason - it's still lying, and it hurts. A lie justified is still a breach of trust - and still a lie. I actually had absolutely no problems with it before last year. Every serious boyfriend I've had has had a couple of porno tapes/ DVDs, but because they were always cool, nonchalant, and honest about them, it wasn't even a tiny issue. Wasn't an issue at all, in fact. It's when the lies and sneakiness start that we really wonder "is this really no big deal?". Common sense tells us that if something is unimportant, that it doesn't require lies, right? This situation reminds me of my best friend and how her fiance ended up at a strip club (which she doesn't care AT ALL about). But, he went and didn't mention it, and when asked, he said that he was just "hanging out at a bar with some friends'. Big mistake. I'm not going to try convincing you that you should be okay with it, although I can pretty much guarantee you that others will. The truth is that you are the one who has to live in your relationship and deal with the symptoms of porn in your home - not us - YOU. If it's something that really does bother you, then no amount of people telling you that you should be okay with it will change your mind, right? You're entitled to your feelings and opinions. It makes you who you are. Here's what I would try: Be really calm, relaxed, and non-confrontational when you talk to him about it. Reassure him that you love him, but also let him know how you feel and see what he has to say about it. Just give him a chance to explain, but offer your input. You might be surprised about what he has to say. Link to comment
RayKay Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 I think one factor here too is that "teens" are generally NOT teens - just younger women - 18-25, though I have seen older ones and the people looking ARE very aware of this. They are generally young adults who just LOOK younger or are dressed younger. The reality is most people will be attracted to a youthful body when they are fantasizing rather than an older one. The label "teen" in porn to me always seems to just refer to younger adult as it seems like the majority of mainstream porn is labelled with "teen", otherwise he'd be looking at much older women. Link to comment
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