Should I meet him?

[misslonelyheart]

Had to contact my ex today over money issue.

 

last transaction was from him saying that I should let him know if I wanted to meet for coffee or something but no hassel if not and to 'keep well'

 

I would love nothing more than to have my ex back. I know that this message doesn't mean anything in terms of him wanting to reconcile...far from it as he is not exactly asking me out for coffee, rather asking me to ask him!..and doesn't seem bothered if I decline.

 

But, as others have stated on this forum, how far do you take NC if you want a chance at reconciliation? I think I am emotionally stable enough to meet him and not break down (just about...I think!) but I don't want just friendship with him and I am worried that meeting him will be a huge disappointment in that he wont tell me what I want to hear.

 

This is what I am ultimately afraid of I think. This is why NC has been so easy for me...it has kept me from facing the reality that he doesn't want me anymore - if I don't contact him, he can't tell me he doesn't want me and NC can keep the hope alive.

 

Does anyone else feel this? Should I meet him?

 

Help!!!

[nataliejulie]

If you feel strong enough to meet him, see him and talk to him without breaking down... I say go for it. NC is suppose to supply you with your own inner strength to handle this and yourself. If you feel comfortable with this idea, I say shoot.

[Bethany]

I would go if I thought it would bring some sort of closure for me, at least you will know either way where you stand. Better than living with regret of meeting him and knowing its all over than wondering for the rest of your life 'what if'.

[misslonelyheart]

Thanks Nataliejulie, Bethany

 

I feel pretty scared and nervous at the thought of meeting him face to face. Although I said that I think I am emotionally stable enough to meet him without breaking down, I meant this in the sense that I think I could hold myself together in front of him but afterwards, alone, I would be a wreck.

 

Is this emotionally stable enough to meet him or do you need to be able to hold yourself together afterwards to be really sure that you are ok?

[Natedoggld182]

very good question, i would like to know the same thing. i know that I wouldn't break down in front of her if I saw her, but i know that it would obviously hurt.

[nataliejulie]

I saw my ex after two months. I was pretty sure I was ready, emotionally, to see him. The date ended up going very well and the both of us were very comfortable. Afterwards? I was a mess. Constantly worrying, having high hopes.. it's like, square one all over again.

 

I think it's just natural for that to happen.

[SuperDave71]

Hey there,

 

 

If you're a gusher ( GUSHER: someone that in a few seconds blurts out 100 reasons why the love, care, want, desire, stalk ha ha them in an attempt to win them over) don't go. If you can handle yourself and what COULD happen...( think worst case scenerio ), I say go for it.

 

 

 

I wish you luck!!

 

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[misslonelyheart]

Thanks SuperD,

 

I was more nervous of your response to my post than I am of my ex!!!

 

You are the Buddha of Enotalone!

 

I thought you were going to tell me off for even contemplating contact!

 

I was wrong....happily

 

Thanks for the advice - I am definitely not a GUSHER, I can handle seeing him but not yet sure I can handle the outcome.

 

aarrrggghh!