HELP I'm invisible

[Magamar]

Right, put simply I've (fairly) recently broken up with someone and after quite a bit of grieving I finally feel like it's time I got out there and met some new people.

 

The problem is (and always has been) that when I'm out with my mates we can literally go all night only speaking amongst ourselves (and to bar staff obviously). We sometimes don't speak to any other people. It's not like we don't try sometimes either.

 

From a personal point of view I try and get eye contact with people. I try and give them a big smile but it just doesn't seem to work. My success ratio is pitifully poor.

 

I'm on a big night out this Friday and was wondering what tips anyone had to help me talk to people other than my mates. I am quite shy (but not too bad) but following the break up of my relationship I'm eager to change. I willing to move out of my comfort zone but I just need some initial help.

 

Cheers all

[Gunther]

I have never been much for the bar scene, but it would seem to me going alone as opposed to with friends would be a good idea. If you've no one else to talk to then it's much easier to talk to someone who you don't know.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Yes, I agree with Gunther.

 

If you want to meet new friends. It is better to go out alone. Don't limit yourself to meet new friends just in bar. You could simply make new friends by the park, or on the pavement.

 

When you see someone who is also alone in a party, try to approach him or her. More likely he/she will entertain you, because they have no one to speak to.

[Dre_7]

I find most eye contact/smiles happen when I'm not making a conscious effort to get them. Like there are some girls I might see on the bus and look over at them a few times, if I find them attractive...But it seems like just that, a few glances. But if it's mutual and unexpected, feels alot more inviting, and I just might say hi.

And in terms of bars, like Guest said, don't limit yourself to them. And don't get down on yourself when you don't meet anyone there. Love/attraction happens when you give off a carefree attitude.