shorty20 Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 ok, so my best friend's husband is in the Army and is currently in Iraq. He came home on leave about 2 months ago for 3 weeks. After he left, rumors started that she was sleepign with her husband's best friend. This is by no means true, but it got around our group of close friends adn has been going on for about two months. We just found out about this last night. She's tried talking to all of the group, and just telling them they need to stop talking, and that none of it is true at all, but they are still threatening to email her husband and let him know what's going on. Now, we don't think it is appropriate to bother her husband with such highschool games while he is in Iraq defending our country, but I don't know what she should do? Should she email him to clarify if he hears this it is untrue, or should she just leave it alone and not bring him into all the drama, because God knows he has enough on his plate already. Thanx guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Why did those rumours start? Do you know who started them and why that person thought she was with his best friend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shorty20 Posted September 23, 2005 Author Share Posted September 23, 2005 they said it was weird that she was hanging out with him. her husband said he'd prefer her to hang out with his friends, because then he'd know she was safe or whatever... he knows she hangs out with his friends and is cool with it. They were started by this guy who is supposedly one of her husbands friends. He lies all the time, and yet everyone still believed him and fed the rumors for two months before either I or my best friend found out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSmilingTurnip Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 I know you don't want to bother him with all this high school stuff, but it's more than likely that if she doesn't, someone else is going to anyway. I'd recommend that your friend discuss this with her husband and be proactive about this rumor. She should tell her husband what's going on, who started it, etc. She should give him all the facts and settle it with him before others start interfering in their marriage. That way, it will be less problematic for her when one of these fools eventually emails the poor guy. And it will be less of a shock for him and make him feel more secure with her if she has already hashed it out with him prior to some idiot dragging him into it. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GettingOverIt Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 I agree with phrecklesexy here... She needs to bring it up with her husband, let him know what a dog this 'friend' is being, and when it all hits the fan, he can say he knew about the rumors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 I agree she should tell him - she should make sure he knows she is upset by the rumours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shorty20 Posted September 23, 2005 Author Share Posted September 23, 2005 she says she dosen't want to bother her husband with stupid rumors when he's in Iraq and has enough to be worried about there. His ex-fiance cheated on him a long time ago when he was at boot camp, and she thinks it will just re-surface those feelings that he has about how he was cheated on before and bring up old hurts and stuff.... I know they're rumors, she knows they're rumors, the guy she's supposedly "sleeping" with knows they're rumors... the guy that spread the rumors says he has a "condition" with lying.... then why isn't he on medication, cuz he could seriously mess up someones marriage if this got out. I just don't understand it... I told her she should email her husband anywayz. She said she wants to meet with the whole group tonight and have a talk and just hash things out first... see how that goes before she bothers her husband with the whole stupid thing... I told her to email him anywayz... because if he comes back and finds out anythign about it he'll feel like she was hiding something from him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GettingOverIt Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Like was stated - she needs to tell him and tell him how SHE is hurt by the rumors... If she is not willing to do these things, then she will have to live with the consequences of him finding out from someone else... And it is much harder to get over any kind of trust issue when it comes from someone else...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSmilingTurnip Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Gettingoverit is right. It will be much harder to deal with him and his emotions if he finds out from others. However, meeting with the group is a good idea. If after the meeting she still feels like they're going to start trouble, then she can email him. If after the meeting she feels like it's resolved, then she may not need to. However, keep in mind that even if it feels resolved at the meeting, it may still rear its ugly head when one of those two-faces decides to inject some drama for their own entertainment. In the end, I still believe it is better to just let him know what's up, just in case and ESPECIALLY because of his prior experience with infidelity. Man, when will people learn to mind their own business!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shady Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 those people dont sound like friends keep your friends close but your enemys closer after all this i dont think id be around them anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shorty20 Posted September 24, 2005 Author Share Posted September 24, 2005 well, we met with the group tonight... it all boiled down to this one kid that likes to spread rumors and lies. We basically decided to just cut him out, because before him, there was no drama. He sat there and lied and said that all he'd said was that he'd thought it was weird they were hanging out when he'd been the one to say that this guy had started living with my best friend and was sleeping with her. It was nice to get the whole group together again... we decided it was sad that it took some stupid rumor to get us all there... it won't be long before we get together again as a group, so all in all, it was a great talk! thanx guys for your help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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