Dating someone with kids

[shiminimo]

helloo, i have been dating this girl off and on and to tell you the truth i think that i really like her alot. here"s the problem

 

she has a son from a previous marriage she is a good mom and all that but everytime I try to plan something with her she has to what she is going to be doing with her son first. her son doesn't live with her because of her job she has to travel alot. it doesn't bother me that her son comes first cuz that is how it should be. it bothers me cuz i'll call her and ask her if she has any plans for the weekend and she'll say i have to see what i'm going to do with my son first. then if her son is busy doing something else then she will do something with me.

 

well, this is what made me kinda mad i was on vacation from work so i asked her if i could come spend some time with her for the week. she agreed i went to see her and pretty much she hasn't been home at all. she been doing everything with her son. well i'm supposed to leave tomarrow and go back home and she planned a trip to go out of state with her son. i'm glad she spending time with her son but god i came all the way to see her and we haven't done anything together. i should end this relationship shouldn't i?

[Avalon23199]

Instead of ending things, have you tried talking to her about this? I know it can be really frustrating to come visit someone and they make themselves completely unavailable to you. I'm glad you see that kids do come first, but at the same time, this woman is being very selfish in the aspect that she is putting you at the very end of all priorities. If she cannot see that and is not willing to change that, then I would end the relationship.

[shiminimo]

yes and i have ask for all three of us to do something together and she says no. she thinks it will disturb her son to see her with another guy.

[RayKay]

yes and i have ask for all three of us to do something together and she says no. she thinks it will disturb her son to see her with another guy.

 

With all due respect, I don't think it is uncommon for single parents to shelter their kids from their dating lives for a while - it is rather traumatic to children to meet someone new, bond, and then it does not work out and the child loses another important person in their life - rinse, repeat.

 

Most single parents I know wait several months until relationship is strong, and going somewhere to introduce the children.

 

The fact you say you are dating her OFF AND ON is a big indicator she does not want to get her child attached to you.

 

Her child is her priority right now, hate to say it, but if she only sees him now and then, of course she wants to find out what is going on with him first. I do agree asking you to come see her, then not seeing you was not fair, but did she promise to make time?

 

Maybe she is just not all that interested.

 

Wait, is this the same one that told her friends your penis was too small and was being a witch with a B anyway?

[Day_Walker]

I think you need to look at the situation objectively, yes she has a son but is it possible that she is dating other guys? It seems to me that you need a female that is more available than this one, because of the circumstances or other reaons she isnt giving you what you want, you need to notice that and what that means.