Sometimes I want to die

[Stevie187]

Sometimes I feel so low that I just cant go on, I feel trapped in my relationship and I feel like the only way for me to leave, is to just pack all my stuff without him knowing and just leave, am I a bad person?????? I try to leave and something is always holding me back, Im so scared of being alone, that it hurts, I want to know that if I leave, there is someone there for me, because of our relationshio I have lost all of my friends and I feel like I cant get them back....... Sometimes I get enough courage to go and then I get to the door all things are packed and I just cant do it..... Im hurting Evan in the process and I dont want to do that anymore..... Sometimes I want to just curl up in a little ball and fade away........ any advice????? am I being silly like every one says?????/

[twentyOnE]

So you have lost all your friends in the relationship and you're feeling trapped. . . that's not really a positive thing. If you really love this person and you feel that you can't live without him, why don't you take a little break from him and have your own "space". Although I have gotten my heart broken by a girl who needed her own "space" and figure stuff out by herself, I feel that it was a courageous, smart move for her. Before you try to know someone else, you should learn who you are first.

 

By taking time off from him doesn't mean meet other guys or do anything to hurt him, but to learn what you want. There shouldn't really be a time limit and only you should know when you're ready to commit to a relationship again.

 

Hope everything works out and feel better!

 

~twentyOnE~

[feelingsad262]

First of all, you're definatly not being silly.

And you're not a bad person, but I think you are treating your partner in a bad way.

 

With that being said, i'd like to add that having these feelings are very common;

I've talked to a lot of people who have had similar feelings and even been in

relationships where the other has had such feelings. Which brings me to my first point;

 

It's obvious you haven't tried talking to him about it, which can be a very hard thing

to do. It's also obivous that there is something wrong with where you are right now,

that this relationship isn't an ideal place to be. I think that the first thing you

need to find out is, is it the relationship or is it simply you and your feelings?

Is he treating you bad? Is it just not working out? Anyhow, it sounds to me as if

there has to be something wrong - but if you love this guy (which it doesn't sound

as if you do) the best thing to do is to muster up your courage and let him know how

you feel. Believe me, If he cares for you I think he'll be glad that you told him

insted of just running out on him. If you want this to work, that'll be the first

logical step.

 

However, if you really want out of this, again be honest with yourself and him and tell

him the truth - break up with him. I can really relate to the fear of being alone,

believe me, we all feel that from time to time, but staying in a relationship just

because you're afraid to be alone will only end up hurting both him and you a lot

more in the long run. I can imagine myself what it would be like to have been togehter

with someone for so long and half the time the other person just wanted to get out of it -

now THAT'S devastating. If you care for him at all, he deserves more.

 

My advice is; first of all, try really hard to find out what you're feeling, what

the cause of it is and where you would like to be right now.

Once you're certain, make sure you're being perfectly honest with him, and yourself -

and don't hold back. Heed your feelings.

 

As for your fear of being alone, (and this sounds like a clichè) but it's true; you're

not alone. There are people that love you and really care for you, and never forget

that. Even though it might not be that obvious all the time.

Being alone can sometimes be scary as hell, but hey, the truth is we all get used to

it and come to enjoy it after a while. I'm sure you know what I mean.

 

You might think I'm just babbling about things you already know too well here, but hey,

clichès are clichès for a reason, and being honest is always the smarter thing to do

since you will can never regret being honest. Stop hurting yourself and him, and

do what you feel like you have to do. Rembember, your own feelings are the most precious

thing that you've got and not heeding them can often be a big big mistake. And I think,

deep inside, you know what you've got to do.

 

I wish you good luck, and hope it all works out for you.

[CamaroJoe]

i went through pretty much the same thing, as far as the friends are involved. it's not so hard to leave. remember, there are others out there and sometimes you need to be on your own to find the true you and to realize that you actually can make it on your own. You should never be dependant on anyone else for you happiness. "Life is like an obstacle put in front of your optical to slow you down and once you think you've gotten past it it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground" but you gotta be strong and get up again. You just need to find something to believe in and to gain confidence.

 

quote: "" Eminem

[kdreger]

That's where I was over 2 years ago when I got a seperation from my wife. I had to leave my home, my wife and my two boys. It took me 2 tries before I finally got the strength to leave but I had to leave. I wasn't happy there anymore. We all only have one life. You have to do things that keep you happy and healthy. If that means leaving, then that is what you have to do. It's not about being a bad or good person. You are no use to anyone if you are not happy with your life. You will never have friends if you can't be a friend and you can't be one if you're miserable.

 

6 months after I left, my wife thanked me even though she hated me for months because after she finished grieving she saw how our lives changed and how we were better off in the end. We don't fight anymore and I consider my ex-wife one of my best friends now. As well, my boys see us happy together and that is far healthier then staying and them seeing us miserable.

 

You have to think like that and you have to have the courage to stand on your own. At some point in our lives, we are alone. It is unavoidable. Be alone and use that time alone to make peace with it. You will be a stronger person in the end.

 

Good luck.

[cris67]

I think that I understand but don't wish your life away.

It is extremely difficult to let go and leave. We are all the same in some ways, I guess. We all wish we could see the future to know that the decision we are making is a good choice; should I stay or should I go scenario. You probaby also feel trapped because love is such a powerful emotion and just when you think you have your head sorted all those loving feelings just come surging back and wash all other thoughts right out of your head. It makes you crazy but I think you have to make hard decisions sometimes and stick with them. There may be hard times ahead but try and find the inner strength to get through and see your way to happiness. That's what I am trying to do with my life - it's not easy. Good luck