Clubs

[eviljedi]

Hey, recently some of my friends started going to clubs and bars and I've been invited a few times. I enjoy going with them but they all try to meet girls and end up dancing/talking with them and I'm just left standing there alone. It's not that I don't want to meet girls, it's just I don't think the kind of girls I'm looking for are at these clubs. I don't want to stop going with them because I feel like I'm being anti-social and missing out. Also, because they are older and have been going to these places for longer they know quite a lot of the people that regularly go, where as I only know a few that I might see from school/work.

 

Once we enter a club for example we will go to the bar and get a few drinks and then they might start talking to people they know (guys or girls). I'm left standing next to them not talking to anyone and feeling like a loner. If I see someone I know I go up and chat to them for a few minutes and then they go to dance with someone etc. At the end of the night I might even end up getting a taxi home myself because they end up going home with girls they have met.

 

I prefer talking with people rather than dancing and clubs aren't the best places for talking. I'm not very good at just going up to complete strangers and starting a conversation either, so it's pretty difficult to keep talking to people. I feel weird when talking to girls in bars because they always assume your hitting on them.

 

Dose anyone have any advice for starting conversations in clubs/bars with girls you don't know?

 

 

Thanks

eviljedi

 

P.S

I was listing to How Soon Is Now by The Smiths and one of the lyrics seemed so appropriate:

 

"...There's a club, if you'd like to go

You could meet somebody who really loves you

So you go, and you stand on your own

And you leave on your own

And you go home, and you cry

And you want to die..."

[darkblue]

Ask your friends to introduce you to some people.

[cobro]

I've been in those situations many times. It's not fun at all. In fact, I quit going to clubs unless I have a gf or a really good friend who I know will not run off and leave me hanging. I'm kind of shy too and don't like to approach strangers so I know what you mean. I've found if you have someone there who you can hang out with its alot easier.

[nuts]

yeah ive definitely been there before. luckily when i first turned 18 i was the first out of all my friends so i got to hang out with a lot of my older, more mature friends who were out for a good night like i was. then i started going out with the people my age and it got a little frustrating at times, for the same reasons as you.

 

i decided in the end that i had 2 choices: i could either deal with them and their idea of a good night out and try and enojoy myself, or just not go out with them anymore. after a while i started going out more with the people who wouldnt just p*ss off at any old time. maybe you should look at goin out with other people? is that an option for you?

 

as for talkin to girls, you're not the only one in that position. if you feel confident enough to talk to a stranger, walk up to the girl who looks like she mite be in your position. that way you have common ground to spark a convo. if you dont really feel confident enough to do that then try inviting a friend along with you, preferably someone who doesnt know the others. that way you dont need to feel left out of anything as you will have someone there who you know wants to be there with you.

 

hope i could be of some help.

[Cliff 007]

I hear ya!

I gave up the club seen years ago, with the exception of a few parties of people that I know. I can relate to where your coming from.

Trying to start a conversation in a club is hard for me, too.

The loud music, jealous big shots,and women thinking you're hitting on them. ( which is true. )

 

Like some of the others have said," Find new people to hang with.

Folks who will introduce you to women.

If the OLD SCHOOL fails you, you must move on.

 

Hang in,

[bobster]

I would do what was already mentioned. I would try striking-up a conversation with a girl that looks to be in the same position. Usually girls come in two's anyway so you could talk with them and hopefully you'll get a response out of at least one!!

 

Why be shy? Its not like you have to see them every day.

Bobster