woman hates bf after breakup, forgiveness?

[dzadze]

to get ur mind of the ex is to get ur mind on the next

[arwen]

Hey dzadze,

 

After I found out the truth about my first bf (my only long term relationship), about him getting back together (sort of) with me to get over someone he had fallen in love with during a break up, it took me more than a year to be able to talk to him. He repeatedly called me, I chatted a bit but never contacted him.

 

This year I saw him, and got closure. No, I will never be friends with him, because it's difficult to be reminded of the past that way. But I forgave him, and moved on. Now it has been 3 months since that final talk, and I am fine. Maybe we will meet up occasionally, but I wouldn't regard him as part of my circle of friends.

 

It's too complicated for me. I know he wants more, but I think that's mainly because he can't stand the idea of what he did to me. He is still together with that particular girl, his frustrated attempts to see me must be agonizing for her. He says he will always feel bad about what he did, and I can't and won't help him to get rid of that feeling.

 

Maybe this story helps you.

 

Ilse.

[heloladies21]

She asked you not to talk to her again so it's a good idea not to. If she changes her mind, she'll get a hold of you.

[shes2smart]

As a girlfriend br/up: Have you ever forgave your ex and talk to him again???after how long???

 

And when the girffriend did forgive the men, did you guys stay friends, good friends, or got back together?

 

Forgiven my exes? Yes. It's a very necessary part of personal development and the ability to move on with as little baggage as possible.

 

Talk to/befriend an ex? With one exception, no. Without fail all my exes have tried to contact me somewhere down the line. Any attempts at contact on their part have been met with a direct reply along the lines of, "There's no reason for you to contact me, I am not part of your life any more. I am doing fine, and I wish you well, however I'd rather not hear from you."

 

You can forgive someone, but that doesn't mean you're going to want/need any further contact or relationship with them. If this is the case with your ex, you need to respect that and leave her be. And I never understood "getting back together"...in every relationship I've had, I did everything I possibly could to make it work and if that wasn't enough, I left without looking back. When I'm done, I'm done and I don't go back.

[guapa]

I'm friends with all my ex'es pretty much (except those in other countries that I can't contact because I don't have their info). The last one I was angry with and told him I wanted NC, but the fact of the matter is that I love him... And he is sort of my friend now. so, basically I think what it really depends on is **why** the females says NC, how bad was it... if a man cheated on me, i'd never talk to him again. period.