Escape

[tiki]

I've noticed that everyone wants OUT. In one way or another, we all want to throw our hands up in the air and say "I don't want to do this anymore--I quit!"

 

But as we get older or more "mature", our society teaches us to keep composure and bottle it up. Instead of screaming and throwing a fit whenever we dislike something, we are taught to deal with it by looking "a-ok" on the outside. We spend our lives obsessed about LOOKING beautiful and together, while our souls are slowly rotting and falling apart.

 

We are all born in a system that we had nothing to do with. We didn't decide to have things run this way but we have no choice but to take a ride along with the rest of the world-- a ride to self destruction.

 

I fear that I'm seriously losing faith in humanity. We've created such a dead end--a trap. A lot of people are unhappy and lost. There are millions of people alive and yet most of us feel lonely. Isn't that ironic?

[Finzsoftie]

Yes it is! what's more ironic, is that there are more females than there are males, and yet more males are homosexual than females!

[tiki]

that had nothing to do with what i was trying to say...but whatever. I just don't know where you're coming from.

[BellaDonna]

Tiki,

 

Hello. It sounds like you have an EXTERNAL "locus of control". It's a term that comes from theories of personality. See: link removed

 

 

We are all born in a system that we had nothing to do with. We didn't decide to have things run this way but we have no choice but to take a ride along with the rest of the world-- a ride to self destruction.

 

The way I see it- yes we are born into a world and we cannot change many aspects of it: capitalism, crime, self-centeredness etc. But we have everything to do with it because over the centuries we created it. There are many things about society that I don't like. However, when I wake up in the morning- I do so with the realization that there are indeed many things I can control.

 

*I can decide which kinds of people I want to surround myself with ("good" or "bad")

 

*I can decide which attitude I am going to hold towards life ("I'll make a difference today, even it's a small one" vs. "Woe is me".)

 

*If I detect injustice, I can stand up for what I believe.

 

*I can do something to help another person.

 

*I can get involved in the community to better society or I can pretend that I'm the only one alive and live in a selfish bubble.

 

But as we get older or more "mature", our society teaches us to keep composure and bottle it up. Instead of screaming and throwing a fit whenever we dislike something, we are taught to deal with it by looking "a-ok" on the outside.

 

I can throw a fit if I want to. And believe me, I do. I never pretend to be "ok" with something I don't believe in. I write to politicians, vote for people I agree with, protest for a cause, openly state my views to others.

 

In day-to-day relations with others...if someone asks "how are you?" if I feel lousy...I don't respond with the generic response of "good and you"? I never agree with others simply for the sake of being polite. Bottom line, if you don't like something, speak up. Sometimes people will hear, and sometimes they won't, but it's better than keeping it inside.

 

I have an internal locus of control. I realize that although I cannot control everything. the vast majority of my life is determined by me.

 

A lot of people are unhappy and lost. There are millions of people alive and yet most of us feel lonely.

 

I agree that there are many people in the world who are not happy. I think those kinds of feelings occur when they feel they've lost control.

 

You sounds like you could be in a depression. I hope things get better for you and you do not continue to feel alone in the world. If you keep having these thoguhts, you may want to look into seeing a counselor, or self-help techniques.

 

You need a new mantra "I am in control of my happiness, and my life"

 

we have no choice but to take a ride along with the rest of the world-- a ride to self destruction.

You're the driver. As you take this ride you will no doubt find bumpy roads, but self-destruction is not inevitable.

 

What you truly need to escape from are your destructive thoughts...and not the system.

 

Life is what you make of it ,

 

BellaDonna

[shes2smart]

Re-read what BellaDonna wrote about having an external locus of control vs. an internal locus of control, 'cause she hit the nail square on the head.

 

Each of us bears the responsibility of creating our own lives, whether we are consciously creating or UNconsciously creating. Unconscious creation tends to manifest in a life that's probably not going to be as satisfying as becoming conscious of your thoughts and beliefs and using those to create your outward actions and your world.

 

Is it a lot of work? You betcha.

Can it be difficult work? Yuppers.

Is it worth it? Absolutely.

 

If you focus on what's wrong in the world and what's wrong with people, you will fail to see what's right and you will fail to see the good and you will fail to see the light.

 

Just because you aren't seeing it doesn't mean it's not there.

 

In many, many cases people are lonely due in large part to decisions they made in their own minds about relationships and other people. The thinking that led them to their decisions is most likely flawed. However, they can change their thinking at any time they choose to, and they can make different choices.

 

Different choices=different results.

 

Each of us has far more creative power than we realize. It is up to each individual to become aware of that power, then choose how to use it. You can use it to make yourself miserable just as easily as you can choose to make your life one that you find satisfying.

 

It's up to you.

[DragonGirl724]

did you check out my post "Society's Normalcies": link removed

 

you dont have to live your life unhappy. do what you want to do & what you need to do. you dont have to work at a job you hate, you can work doing what you love if you make it happen. even if that means taking a pay cut. you can not put a pricetag on happiness.

 

you can sit & complain about being unhappy but its up to YOU to find happiness. and believe me, there are A LOT of happy people out there, let them inspire you. live your life b/c before you know it your life will be over, even before it even really started....

 

you know that Braveheart quote: "every man dies, but not every man truly lives...'

 

well, its true, so dont be part of the cattle herd, break out of it & go forward with your life in a whole new direction. shed some light on your life & take an adventure, break away from the 'norm' & give a big middle finger to 'society's normalcies'.

 

you can make your own norm. experience different places in the world, new cultures, (you'd see there are a lot of other places in the world that dont take work & money so seriously).

 

Places like Spain have Siestas. thats when the whole country shuts down around noon & everyone goes home for a few hours to spend time resting or with their family eating a hearty feast! like HELL would they ever have that in the Americas, you barely get a lunch break!

 

think this over & check out my post.

 

Take care,

-DG724

[talo]

An insightful post Tiki

 

I've noticed that everyone wants OUT. In one way or another, we all want to throw our hands up in the air and say "I don't want to do this anymore--I quit!"

 

If one quits, what in fact is one quitting? Is it only quitting the definitions that define ourselves and society?

 

But as we get older or more "mature", our society teaches us to keep composure and bottle it up. Instead of screaming and throwing a fit whenever we dislike something, we are taught to deal with it by looking "a-ok" on the outside. We spend our lives obsessed about LOOKING beautiful and together, while our souls are slowly rotting and falling apart.

 

I note you have "mature" in this paragraph within speech marks. You intuit that truly mature person would not just look mature but be mature. How would you describe a truly mature person?

 

We are all born in a system that we had nothing to do with. We didn't decide to have things run this way but we have no choice but to take a ride along with the rest of the world-- a ride to self destruction.

 

How insightful. Yes, a journey to self destruction. This need not be seen as negative. It is in fact highly positive. There is no bodily destruction involved. The destruction is solely of all the definitions of who/what we are. If you are not defined, how can you be placed, why a need to escape?

 

I fear that I'm seriously losing faith in humanity. We've created such a dead end--a trap. A lot of people are unhappy and lost. There are millions of people alive and yet most of us feel lonely. Isn't that ironic?

 

What is ironic is that we think we are something, which is mere definition. If you do not define yourself/other, what is there to lose, have faith in, be trapped in, be unhappy about etc.

 

This does not mean giving up beliefs/definitions etc, it means seeing what they are.

 

You can still be here bodily and not be 'part of it'. I recall here an ancient saying something like "be in the world but not of it".

 

Thank you for your post,

[tiki]

Thanks so much to all of you who responded. It made me realize that I came off very negative and pessimistic. I guess i should explain myself a little more.

 

I agree. We have control over what we decide to do with our lives. And honestly, I'm pretty proud of myself and what i have accomplished. I always try to do good things in my own ways--anything to help better our world. I love doing community services and I have been doing them since I can remember.

 

I'm not depressed like some of you suggested-- frustrated is more like it. I guess there are times when i feel like I'm trying too hard to make a difference and everyone else around me is not even putting a single ounce of effort. The world is caught up with this thing called MONEY and I can't stand it. My parents want me to go to Business or Law School and make tons of money (My dad is a natural business man and thrives that way)...and I don't know how to tell them that I'm a Philanthropist....i hate business.

 

I currently work for a law firm and I love my job...but sometimes i feel like i should be doing something else that makes MORE of a difference in people's lives.

[shes2smart]

The world is caught up with this thing called MONEY and I can't stand it.

 

You needn't adopt others' standards as your own. At the same time, you also need to accept that others will adopt standards unlike yours. We each have a different path to walk in this lifetime.

 

I understand where you are coming from, though. Back in my somewhat hot-headed youth, I remember walking in the mall at Christmas time. There were 2 women walking behind me, and I couldn't help but overhear their conversation.

 

One said to the other, "I need another pair of gold earrings." It took every ounce of self-control I had not to turn around and lash out at her by saying, "Look, you don't NEED another pair of gold earrings. You might LIKE another pair, you might WANT another pair, but you don't NEED another pair."

 

As you might guess, I'm not a terribly materialistic person. "Stuff" doesn't impress me. While I have some nice things of my own that make my life comfortable, I know that I could get along fine without them if I had to. It took me quite a while to understand that not everyone else is like that, nor should they be. Sometimes the only way people can learn the lessons they are here to learn is through chasing after things like money, or good looks, or material things. It's not my place to deprive them of those lessons, nor is it my place to dictate their path. I've found I have more peace of mind if I just focus on my own path and my own goals and let the rest of it go by.

 

My parents want me to go to Business or Law School and make tons of money (My dad is a natural business man and thrives that way)...and I don't know how to tell them that I'm a Philanthropist....i hate business.

 

Is it that your parents want you to make tons of money or is it just shorthand for them wanting you to have a materially comfortable life? Most parents don't want to see their children want for anything or suffer any hardship. Sometimes they have ways of expressing that that we can misinterpret. Try to look beyond the words to their intentions. You may find that they simply want to make sure you are comfortable and don't want for any necessities.

 

They can express their opinions all they want, but in the end it is your life and your decision on how you will live it. From the age of 15, I wanted more than anything to go into radio. My parents were mortified. My mother's side of the family is all doctors, lawyers & engineers. My father was a doctor. I went into radio anyway....and I've been doing it for the last 22 years with nary a regret.

 

Do what you love and the money will follow. Any job or career you take only because of the money will never pay enough if you don't love what you do.

 

I currently work for a law firm and I love my job...but sometimes i feel like i should be doing something else that makes MORE of a difference in people's lives.

 

Maybe you should be. Only you know the answer to that. Have you done any research into what your options are? If money, education and so forth were no barrier, what would your ideal situation be? If you can start to envision where you want to end up, you can start plotting out steps to get there.

 

If you haven't already, you really should go back and read the thread DragonGirl referenced. I think you may find some useful things there.

 

Even though it may appear that everyone else in the world is focused on money, looks, worldly possessions, status or other material/surface things, please know that it's not the case. There are other people who are motivated by things other than money, possessions and the like. It may just be that you're not currently surrounded by very many of them at the moment.