He feels "sexually awkward"

[notQuite]

Hello all!

 

I started a relationship with a close male friend of mine recently, and everything is emotionally fantastic. The only thing is we haven't slept together yet (which I'm cool with, it's only been a month), and he has said twice now that he feels sexually awkward around me. He says it has to do with how we were friends for so long, and now he sees me in such a different way.

 

I don't feel unattractive or insecure because I can tell that sexual attraction is not the issue, and I'm fine with giving him time; but I was wondering if anybody has some suggestions of how I could help him feel more comfortable?

[MetallicAguy]

I think he's trying to get you to maybe have sex with him, so he can lose his "sexual awkwardness" .

[Tigris]

I've been in that situation before. The answer is that you take the initiative.

 

You make sure you go just a little bit further than what you have done before, e.g. If you're making out just lightly rub the front of his trousers and leave it at that. If you've done that in the past then go a little bit further, open his fly and put your hand inside his trousers and rub him. If you've done that well go that little bit further and put your hand inside his underpants.

 

Just use your own judgement. You'll know what he's comfortable with. It just takes patience.

 

On the other hand, he maybe so turned on by the rubbing of the trousers that he forgets all about his problem and he grabs you!

 

Let me know if this works.

 

PM me anytime. I'm on MSN so if you want my address just ask.

 

Good luck and take care.

 

 

[Gilgamesh]

Tigress's plan sounds like a winner to me.

 

I think he needs you to make the first move also, so he can see your open to this new uncharted territory between you two.

[notQuite]

awww, Tigris you're so sweet and supportive! Thanks for the ideas, but there is something I forgot to mention in my original post. I'm a virgin, and while I feel ready to have sex (mentally, emotionally, etc) I don't think I feel comfortable taking the lead. He is quite sexually experienced, and I had hoped that would make things go smoother before this whole "awkwardness" thing came up.

 

As I write this, I'm realizing I should just go have an honest and open talk with him about it though. So I guess maybe I just had to write it out to get some perspective. but Thanks for your help!

[Tigris]

Thanks Gilgamesh.

 

NotQuite heavy petting is not having sex! Just make sure he understands the rules.

 

Have fun.

 

 

[Gilgamesh]

Well even more reason why he is apprehensive on making the first move, since he respects you, he doesn't want you to feel like he is pushing you into something until you are ready, so you have to kinda give him the "green light" so to speak.