My ex is hitting rock bottom, what should I do?

[settinuplife]

What do I do!

 

My ex-girlfriend is in an abusive relationship. They both fight alot and I'm pretty sure they are both abusive to each other, but her boyfriend being the more abusive. My ex called last Thurs. late night crying wanting me to come get her from her boyfriends house, then her boyfriend grabs the phone away from her, curses me while my ex is screaming then hangs up. I try to call back 10 min. later and get no answer. I try to call on Fri. all day and get no answer, so I get someone who knows them both to go check up on her at their house and she is fine.

 

So today she finally calls crying and leaves me a message. I call her back and she wants me to come meet and talk to her at school. So I meet up w/her and right away she shows me her bruises from her fight and I tell her she is in a physically abusive relationship and that this guy is a loser, and deep down I know she realizes it, but is still kind of quietly defensive at the same time.

 

I told her I was upset because she didn't call me back when all I wanted to do was check up on her. She said her boyfriend didn't like her talking to me or her other friends so that is why she didn't call, and that he quit his job and he is always around. I did nothing to this guy for him to hate me.

 

I told her that her relationship is abusive, that she should know better and is old enough to make good decisions for herself. I don't think she wanted me for advice, if fact I don't know why she wanted me to meet her at all when she could have told me over the phone she was fine, it seemed pretty pointless to meet her, except to see her bruises. Oh, and I also told her it was bullshyt for her to not call me back to let me know she was okay.

 

So what should I do, what else should I say to her? Should I leave it alone and just be there for her when she needs? Should I stop talking to her so she will think about things (like loosing her friends) because she lets her boyfriend control who she talks to and maybe she will actually realize he is too controlling?

 

What would you do if it was your ex whom you still love and care about?

[heloladies21]

Dude, this chick dumps you, disrespects you, and you want to help her???

 

**beep**

 

She plays head games with you and as soon as she needs a shoulder to cry on, you're right there waiting for her...terrible terrible

 

Hopefully you'll stick up for yourself someday.

[stratguy620]

I would usually agree with the last poster, but this is a special scenario. This girls' life could be in danger. Do you really think you could live with yourself if he ends up killing her? Yes, I think that ex's should not depend on you, but she sounds like she is serious danger. She's not just looking for a shoulder to cry on, she wants you to rescue her from a very dangerous situation...

[Jetta]

I agree with stratguy here. You need to get the police involved in this, she is in serious danger. This guy will kill her if something isn't done. I've been in an abusive relationship and this guy is way worse than what I experienced (and he threatened to kill me). She needs help NOW.

[fantasia2004]

stay out of it.