why do they have to be like this?

[overit1607307174]

basically my parents found out about my bf and I having sex, they freaked, they wanna put him in jail (hes 18 and im 17) but they arent becuase of his health problems. we arent allowed to see each ther, or talk or email. he got his comp/phone/job/schooling all taken away..... basically he sits in his room and goes to the new full time fry cook job his parents got him...... i on the other hand still have all my stuff, and i got to keep my job (i work 40 hours a week, go to school, coach ice skating and practice ice skating and ive been preparing for a skating exam).

 

his parents went out of town this weekend, and so did my mom (my dads been working) so luckily we were able to talk. i should probably mention that i am engaged to my bf and have were planning on getting married in the summer, basically its the only way we can stay together during college. hes chosen to put off college for a while becuase he wants to b a director and its not as important for him to go to college right now (his words not mine). this may sound like a stupid teenage relationship but i assure u its not. i have had adults come up to me and tell me they believe that my bf is the one.

 

my bf told his father how much he loves me, and his father was so amazed at how much he loves me that he actually cried and hugged my bf (a big change from when he hits him and yells at him for being "disrepectful") he actually said he hopes my bf and i will still b together after this (yet he continues to not let us talk).

 

i love my bf with all my heart, and i want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. he is my best friend and the love of my life and no will ever be able to make me as happy. i would love anyones opinion on the situation and what we should do (hes contemplating getting kicked out of his house, becuase he already has somewhere to live if that happens). i am contemplating getting emancipated becuase of the conditions of my house.....the only thing is, if i do that, i may not b able to finish high school, and i wont have the moeny that i have now for college....

 

 

 

so please......... any help as to how to possibly get this work would be very very very appreciated.

[dontknowwhattodo]

You will probably get some responses here saying that you two are still young and saying that you guys should wait. I understand what love is and wish all the best for you two. I just would like to drop a note for you that no matter what education is very important. It is a means for a successful future. I am not saying that those without education will not be successful but what I am saying here is it will make things a lot easier. If I were you, I would do what I need to do (go to school, work, etc.) and be responsible to show your parents and his parents that you guys are responsible kids and are able to take care of your lives. That will ease things out eventually.

[Veneza127]

Have you told your parents the exact same thing you just told us??

 

Hey... I would tell my parents the damage is already done anyways. I would let them know how much I love the guy and I would let them see that now that it happened it would be much better if you stay with him.

 

Besides... like my dad says... "you build your own destiny", let them know you are sure this is the guy that is making you happy and that will make you happy for the rest of your life.

[italianstalian]

just curious on how they found out you guys were having sex?

[Veneza127]

If I were you' date=' I would do what I need to do (go to school, work, etc.) and be responsible to show your parents and his parents that you guys are responsible kids and are able to take care of your lives. That will ease things out eventually.[/quote']

 

This is a very nice piece of advice!!! This is VERY important so... take notes!!

 

And YES, it is something that I forgot to mention... EDUCATION is extremely important. It should come first in every situation.

[overit1607307174]

i have been saving ALL of my money that ive been making. ive loaded up my schedule with work and studying and getting my SAT scores up. im planing on going to college, whether my parents pay for it or not. i just would rather not have to get student loans so im working on getting scholarships. he isnt completely dropping school, just waiting for me to finish (hes already been offered a few editing jobs which pay quite a bit) and as a skating caugh i make $42 an hour.

 

i understand that we are young, and i know ill more than likely get a bunch of responses saying im too young,i understand that im young, but i know that i could possibly have limited time with him, and i also know that if i dont take action with this, i will be without him for even longer. (becuase of college). he and i have already been through so much together (his medical problems, my major family problems, his parents near divorce. we were each others firsts and we honestly have just gone through so much and love each other soooooo much).

 

btw, my brain is DEAD. i have been really sick... i overloaded myself these past 2 weeks and now ive got an ulcer and i really bad cold...... so if half of what i typed doesnt make sense, blame it on that.

[overit1607307174]

ive tried to tell my family how much he means to me. ive talked to my grandma about it, but not my parents. both of our families know that we have the intention of getting married, hence they are keeping us from each other.

 

Have you told your parents the exact same thing you just told us??

 

 

 

 

>>just curious on how they found out you guys were having sex?

 

 

 

one of my friends accidentally mentioned that his mom was nice, well my mom wanted to know how she met his mom cuz she supposedly had only met my bf once at my house. (we secretly picked him up from work one day and took him home and she met his mom there) well my mom wanted to know everything and didnt tell me what she knew so she questioned me for 3 hours, eventually she asked if i was a virgin and i pretty much said no. i was flat out honest with her. i never thought in my wildest dreams she would react like this....... she was so cruel. she called me a dirty whore. and a liar. she said im an embarrassment to the family. shes trying her best to end our relationship....... honestly she could do anything she wants, but we'll still b together in the end.

[dontknowwhattodo]

As a note, I too came from the culture that doesn't allow pre-marriage sex. In other words, if a girl from my culture is found that she has sex with a guy, then the couple will most likely have to get married regardless. I am not a virgin and still single. My mom found out years ago that I was not a virgin but she had nothing to say (even though it was really against our culture) because I was somehow successful in my career and responsible for what I needed to do. Knowing that their kids will be able to live comfortably and successfully is one of the main things parents want to see. So if you can show them that, I think it will be easier for them to put other things aside and let you guys be together.

[overit1607307174]

As a note' date=' I too came from the culture that doesn't allow pre-marriage sex. In other words, if a girl from my culture is found that she has sex with a guy, then the couple will most likely have to get married regardless. I am not a virgin and still single. My mom found out years ago that I was not a virgin but she had nothing to say (even though it was really against our culture) because I was somehow successful in my career and responsible for what I needed to do. Knowing that their kids will be able to live comfortably and successfully is one of the main things parents want to see. So if you can show them that, I think it will be easier for them to put other things aside and let you guys be together.[/quote']

 

 

=)))) thank you.

 

 

 

 

btw..... a little something. tell my what you think:

 

 

 

if you love someone, you shouldnt have to worry about whether or not ur going to see them within the next few months. people (adults) dont repect the love teenagers- young adults- can have for one another. yes, we're younger, we have not lives as long and we certainly have not experienced all that the world has to offer, but thats one of the points of being in love as a young adult: everything is new and innocent. we havent been corrupted or experienced real heartache. we dont know what its like to have loved and lost. honestly most of us arent given the chance. we're sheltered and put into this little fish bowl and are told to experience the world but only by watching it.There comes a point in everyones life where they have to take that leap of faith and plunge into the real world.

[proditor]

regarding getting married, it shouldn't be that much of a problem, legally wise i mean since you're going to be turning eighteen eventually. my advice though, is to wait a bit before actually getting married, you two could live together and see how things work out between you two

 

but seriously, if he really is the one, which it really sounds like he is, don't let him go. you're going to be a legal adult soon, and if you don't live with your parents, they can't tell you not to talk to him or see him, so even if you can't see him now, just hold on, send as many messages as you can, and get together when you're able.

 

 

 

sara

[overit1607307174]

regarding getting married, it shouldn't be that much of a problem, legally wise i mean since you're going to be turning eighteen eventually. my advice though, is to wait a bit before actually getting married, you two could live together and see how things work out between you two

 

 

thing is, we cant live together unless we're married..... both of our parents would freak, probably more so than if they found out we're married. we figured wed get married and live together and then if they have a problem with us living together we can just say that we are married. *shrug* i say all of this now, but who knows in 9 months (when i turn 18) we may have a different plan (which we probably will).