I like this guy but he drinks alot

[SeaBisquit]

I really like this guy alot he is one of my brother"s bestfriends. the only thing is he drinks a real lot. Usually he drinks until he passes out. We have alot of fun when were together and he likes me alot too. But mostly when I see him he is really drunk. He lost his job because he went to work drunk and I kinda feel bad for him. But I think I kinda shouldn't get involved with him until he gets his self straightened out. What do you guys think?

[lillady898]

If this is something you don't think you can (or want to) deal with, then I wouldn't begin a relationship with him. However, If you put your intuition and good logic aside and try to begin a relationship, don't go into it assuming you will change him.

[PersonalMe]

Deffinately do NOT get involved with this guy...i was actually learning about this the other day...say that 10 is like the highest a person can be with like 0 problems, perfect, basically. and 1 is a TOTAL mess!!...say ur a 7 and hes a 5...ppl that r THAT close to each other in "numbers", cannot help each other with problems, or better yet get involved with them becasue there is a certain distance we need to be, to be able to help the person, cuz if not, then that person wraps us in THEIR problems...it doesnt mean we cant GET THEM help, but maybe we cant directly help them. i hope u kinda get it...MY POINT IS...dont get involved with thsi guy, cuz he'll probably just end up getting u involved in hsi problem. i know u like him, and he likes u...but its better to wait.

[Hope75]

I think you are wise to see a red flag and stay away until or unless he gets his drinking under control.

 

People with addictions like this rarely make good partners in a relationship, they are too wrapped up in the addiction and if someone continually does this self damaging behaviour, it follows that they probably don't care much about themselves, and so how could they make a good partner for you?

[Aueft]

I think you are wise to see a red flag and stay away until or unless he gets his drinking under control.

 

People with addictions like this rarely make good partners in a relationship, they are too wrapped up in the addiction and if someone continually does this self damaging behaviour, it follows that they probably don't care much about themselves, and so how could they make a good partner for you?

[RayKay]

I'd stay away until he straightens himself out - truly straightens himself out. For himself though, so you cannot "pressure him" too, addicts need to realize themselves their addiction and admit to it.

 

He's an alchoholic - it sounds like he uses alchohol to cope, has lost a job for it, and drinks to excess regularly. That's alcholism, and I can say from seeing how it has destroyed others lives, families, relationships you do NOT want to get involved with that. Alchohol will come first in his life, plain and simple, and he will rarely be whom he really is.

 

It's a HUGE red flag in my books.

[darkblue]

Definitely stay way.

 

IF he gets his drinking under control; you can think about it seriously.

 

But I don't think dating just now would be a good idea. Alcohol does terrible things to one's personality.

[ShySoul]

Alcohol will ruin a relationship and hurt you deeply. It's not worth the pain. If you want, say something about him needing to straighten out. See if your brother can help. But in the end, it has to be his call, he has to realize the problem and get help.

[moulinbleu]

I dated a heavy drinker who stopped drinking when we started seeing each other. Men sometimes drink more when they are single. . . Give it a couple months. If he slows down while dating you, he may have been drinking out of boredom/loneliness. Either way, when someone gets a tendency to seek alcohol for whatever reason, they may be driven back to it when they feel they need it. Do you want to deal with that? Is this guy worth that risk? My guy was, but we broke up. Guess why. . .

[THE DoCtAh]

I have a question for the women with the drunk fetish,

 

WHY DO YOU LIKE A GUY THAT'S DRUNK ALL THE TIME!

 

He lost his job because of his drinking, that should be a BIG clue to what he'd be like in a relationship!

 

And furthermore, why do you feel sorry for him if he lost his job because he was drunk? It's no one else's fault but his own!

 

I hate to sound pushy, or cruel, or whatever else you want to call it, but you have to take some time out and think about why you like him. And, if you still like him, even though he drinks enough to kill a horse, then there is no hope for you.