worried about the truth

[cheeseboy]

Hello - long time no visit, but this has been playing on my mind

 

Short story - me and the ex, on and off for about 4 years now

 

Recently split in january and now i'm really missing her and i want to see if theres a chance of getting back together (for whatever reasons, wrong or right i just want to be with her)

 

The problem is my only contact to her, apart from her, is my friend who i've asked not to talk about her - but i want to ask him his opinion and of course, if she has moved on.

 

However im very scared i might find out she has

 

so the dilemma is. do i live never knownig (probably easier than the pain of _knowing_ she is with someone else) or do i do the following my heart thing and go for it?

 

 

Probably no answer to this question, but intersted in you opinions none the less

 

thanks.....

[SuperDave71]

Easy solution.....Stop being dramatic and ask. Its been almost 8 months. Just ask....

 

how hard is that?

 

 

-SuperDave71

[Hope75]

Why have you broken up in the past?

 

Have you had any contact with her since the breakup?

 

Have you addressed any of the issues that broke you up?

 

Who initiates the breakups when they have happened, and how many times have you broken up?

[cheeseboy]

Ah i know its a simple question but like i say, not sure I want to know the truth - i beat myself up with thinking about her as it is..

 

 

Why have we broken up? - because i get too clingy and recently moreso when she moved to uni

 

The last contact we had was on msn (when the breakup occurred - thats bad!) when she said "be right back" after the break up, i went to work, and bloked her from then on because i felt it was best since it was falling apart.

 

We had dealt with some issues - not wanting to get into a lengthy post - but things bugged me that made me strike out, e.g. i was making all the effor, always visiting _her_, and she (please dont have a go at me here) placed way too much emphasis on her friends, i might aswell not have existed when they were around

 

all good reasons for it to fall apart huh

 

 

Finally, i have initiated one of the three breakups, and there have been four

 

 

to be honest, i dont know why i want her back hehe, but something inside does....

 

thanks

[Hope75]

Finally, i have initiated one of the three breakups, and there have been four

 

Yikes! Sounds like a recipe for heartbreak and disaster.

 

I think I am going to give you the answer you don't want and suggest that you leave your ex alone this time.

 

When a relationship suffers as many breakups as you have, you start to wonder about the dynamic of it altogether and how it possibly stands a chance of survival when clearly both parties have not addressed the issues that tear it up, or there would not be 4 breakups.

 

Wouldn't you say?

[cheeseboy]

Hmm, yeah i think your right - i have the "if only" bug at the moment

 

It was just a bad day, it's funny how you forget the real harsh parts of the relationship and glaze them over with the happy times

 

 

just not been to good at finding the person who is more deserving of me

 

its funny, i really miss her family too, they were really nice

 

thanks for your words

 

take care...

[Hope75]

it's funny how you forget the real harsh parts of the relationship and glaze them over with the happy times

 

it happens. Often when time passes we tend to forget the pain the ex caused us and focus more on the positive things about the relationship.

 

After that many breakups it seems if you hadn't gotten it right with 4 tries, maybe it was time to throw in the towel.

 

That doesn't mean that from time to time you won't miss her, or what you shared, but it does mean making the right choice and not rubberbanding back to something that clearly wasn't working to begin with.

 

Best of luck to you.