what makes you uncomfortable about guys

[sfboi415]

Good evening ladies,

 

Just wanted to know what guys should avoid doing (non-verbal expressions or actions) that unfortunately make you uncomfortable at work or school. This is the opposite of attraction and flirting..where a guy tries to show his affection for you but in the end it turns you off.

 

Staring..being too quiet..getting too close, e.t.c.

[BillyJean714]

One thing that disturbs me is when a guy appears too overly eager, like if a guy puts his arm on the wall, kinda leaning over me as we're talking, and responds to everything that I'm telling him with an "Oh my gosh. I know. Really? Totally! Totally. Definitely! Really!" -Major turnoff

 

That's all that I can think of for now.

[amanda22]

i just cant stand really fake come on lines or obvious i-want-to-do-you lines like wow your hot. i dont like a guy where i can just tell he wants to get me in bed. and i like my space so i dont like when guys get to close.

 

ex: when a guy asks me to dance i dont want to get groped and dry humped. i like a guy who respects me and isnt touchy feely. thats really rare now-a-days, but i do remember one guy that asked me to dance. he kept space in between us and lightly put on hand on my waist. i thought it was really sweet and i was able to judge what i was comfortable with and i did want to get closer. he didnt make me feel awkward.

 

but thats me and im one kind of girl. maybe another girl will love it if you caress her while you dance and grind all over her? but not me. to each their own.

 

in general i like a guy to be genuine and nice. talk to a girl like you want to be her friend, not like you want to get her in bed. i like a guy who is confident, but not c*cky (yuk) and just relaxed and chill. thats when i feel at lot less defensive and like i dont have to protect myself and i can let down my guard when i dont feel someone is coming on to strong.

 

oh! and i cant stand when guys cant take a hint. if i say no thanks im not playing hard to get i mean it. or if i seem bored or distracted im prob not that into you and i dont want to be mean, so i just wish guys would get the hint. theres many guys that need to learn body signals.

[goddess23]

to be honest...if i dont have an ititial attraction to someone i find almost everything a turn off. i mean if im not attracted to them initially then if they keep their distance and arent too aggressive then i might warm up later. but really lets say i am attracted to the person, then what would turn me off: if you're TOOOO SHY where it gets awkward (actually my bf but he was way to great so whatever lol) but it is a turn off. and if he thinks hes all that (i mean SHOWS IT), ouchhh that could kill it. this is weird: but someone who loudly chews OMGG STOP. if im attracted to the guy though im not turned off by someone who is touchy feely and says very flirtatious lines, i find it a turn on to be honest. but thats me lol obviously some girls are different so yeah just be yourself, being genuine is really imp, keep it real and we can tell the same way i believe guys can tell if girls arent themselves. and someone who has no sense of humor very dry totalllly turns me off. oo and someone who i have to explain myself as i talk (which unforutnately is veryy common) but at least have the same intellectual level is nice.

[BillyJean714]

-Yeah, humping and grinding on the dance floor is a MAJOR turn off! Even if I'm just dating a guy, and we go to a club to dance, and he's humping/grinding me, I'll be like "Back off." It's just really disrespectful, IMO. Also, when your date gets all possessive on the dance floor like you can't dance with your friends and other people. I also dislike it when the guy you're just hanging out with places his hands on your waist while dancing. That's another major turn off. Only BFs/significant others are allowed to do that! In general, I like a guy who doesn't try to get game. Someone who can just be himself without getting all touchy feely. When a guy gets all touchy feely, I get completely turned off and basically don't date him EVER again.

 

Staring..being too quiet..getting too close, e.t.c.

Yes, that can be very creepy as well. When a guy is quiet to the point where he's just hanging around and doesn't say anything- he unconsciously sends off stalkerish vibes.

 

Some tips that I would give a guy on non-verbal communication 101 is simple: just be yourself. Be a gentleman. Open her door. A hug is nice enough. Maybe peck on the cheek is okay, only on the 3rd date. Not to sound prude, but that's my preference. I think as a general rule of thumb, we just like guys who treat us with class and respect. Anything other than that comes off as phonyness.

[fireflies]

Poor hygiene. No comment necessary.

 

Arrogance. If you're really that great, you greatness will speak for itself.

 

Getting too close. A few weeks ago I was sampling cds at a music store, and although there were racks and racks of music, some guy kept feeling the need to stand right next to me (inches) and invade my breathing space. Even worse he felt the need to follow me around the store. Ewww.

 

Unwanted touching or sexual attention. One guy I knew in college really creeped girls out, not because he was geeky (which he was), but because he wouldn't stop touching us in intimate ways no matter how many times we told him politely to back off. i.e. I'd be minding my own business in the cafeteria line when I'd feel a pair of cold, clammy hands massaging my shoulders. Gross!

 

Being negative / whining. Everyone has a right to be depressed, but if you're trying to impress a girl then constantly complaining about stuff or pointing out the downside to every situation is a big turnoff. Blaming your parents for your woes and putting down others make a guy seem immature, insecure, and petty. In general girls like guys who are optimistic and excited about their future and who can keep the conversation fun, light, and interesting.

 

Having nothing to say. Most girls can talk circles around the average guy, but if you want to win a girl's affections, you can't expect her to carry the entire conversation. Be interested in what she has to say and ask her lots of thoughtful questions about herself. If you like her you should want to know what makes her tick anyway. Conversely you also have to be interesting to keep her interested. Live in an interesting life with your own interests, goals, and social life apart from hers and you'll always have something to talk about.

 

Lying. Exaggerating is one thing, but if you feel the need to lie in order to get with a girl, don't. The truth always comes out and no girl wants to be with a liar.

 

Being cheap. One of my husband's guy friends is known for never getting a second date. While he's on dates he complains about the cost of everything: movies, dinner, gas, etc. Yes girls should pay for dates too, but if you're the "host" that night, complaining has only one effect: making the girl feel like you don't think she's worth the effort. Needless to say, he doesn't get invited out by friends very often either.

[BillyJean714]

Soo true... I couldn't have said it any better FireFlies, especially in your last paragraph and about whining and complaining.

[JRM]

I'm actually finding this thread pretty educational. More girls please post.