Call after date? What are the rules?

[catfood]

Hi,

 

Tuesday evening, I went on a really nice date with a friend of a friend who just moved here from accross the country. I think we had a great time, but we kept it pretty low key. He's casual acquaintances with my ex of one month, so I can tell neither of us wants to get in to anything too soon.

 

I've heard through the grapevine though that he's really into me, but he's been a bit standoffish. Probably because he's shy and because he doesn't want to move in on me too soon after my break up.

 

Anyway - could I call and say thanks for a great time and chat, or should I wait for him to make the first phone call afterwards? Silly question, I know...

 

Thanks everyone!!

[Day_Walker]

I believe its a judgement call, ultimately if you want to call him then most likely you are going to call him. It all depends on how forward you want to be with this situation.

[Beec]

Call and thank him. And then try to get off the phone, or call when he won't be there and leave a thank you message.

[ShySoul]

There shouldn't be rules about calling, call if you feel like it there is nothing wrong with that. I'm sure he would love to hear from you. What guy wouldn't like a girl calling him?

[Beec]

Holy Mole, I agree with Shysoul.

 

I will say that the "Thank You" call was always nice to get. It was just saying Thanks, but it also told me that if I asked again, the answer would probably be yes.

[suprema99]

I agree, I like those times when girls leave you a little something. Just to say hey, cause they know you wouldn't want to be talking, maybe at that particular time. it shows they're thinking of you though, and it's keeps you that much more intrested, if you like her. And if you don't like her, maybe you'll think of her more than. It's little things like that, than the obvious soimetimes, which can make a bigger difference sometimes.

[ShySoul]

Beec agrees with something I say as well? Hell must be a giant ice sickle with the way my detractors have been agreeing with me lately.

 

You also say he is shy. Shy people usually need that added boost of confident and encouragement if they are going to take things further. Calling him is a great idea.

[suprema99]

Hey shy, not a detractor of yours at all. Your post was pretty accurate there on my part.

[Beec]

Am I a detractor? Hope not. Shysoul, I don't want to knock you. I think you are probably a great guy. However, I think that in some ways, and we know which ones those are, you are looking at the world through rose-colored glasses, not seeing the reality.

 

If it works for you in the end, great.

[suprema99]

Hey shy, you have good ideas and everything but your very pro, not ever con it seems, to the female sometimes. There are good girls out there, but you have to realize sometimes, there's girls out there that want everything there way, and expect everything from you in return. Doesn't matter who's fault it is, but stuff happens all the time. I think rose colored glasses is an accurate statement, if you would ever think too much in just one perspective.

[ShySoul]

Not to hijack the thread, but Beec I don't consider you a detractor, at least not compared to some people. In light of the difference of opinion we've had in the last couple days, I said that... since that's the third time someone has said "I can't believe I'm agreeing with ShySoul." Got to have some humor in life, right?

 

I've seen more reality then I ever should have had to see. So I know full well that things aren't all sunshine and love. But I made a choice a long time ago that I could either let that get me down, be cynical, and start thinking the world has to be like that, or I could be hopeful for something better. I recognize how things are, but I always try to live life as though it was better then what it is, just to show people that things can be better and they don't have to stay the same.

 

suprema99, I've always been good at empathising with females and being their friend. I try to think of how the female is thinking, cause if you can understand how she feels and thinks, that can be a big help in addressing the issues most guys seem to have. Most of the time problems result because people see things how they want to see them, but don't reflect as much on being in the other persons shoes. Since women seem to agree with what I say, I'm just trying to share what I know about them.

 

I know that there are female jerks just like there are male jerks. And if a girl sounds like one, I'll say it. I'm equal opportunity when it comes to blame. I just think that usually the girl has already been blame by many and I try to present a different view to give people something to think of.

[THE DoCtAh]

The "wait at least a day before calling" thing only applies to when a guy calls a girl.

 

Lucky for you, there really is no rule for women on this, at least not from what I've seen. Generally, most guys wouldn't have a problem with the girl calling, they would probably be delighted! And the guys that would find something wrong in that, are jerks anyway, and don't deserve you.