Questions for the guys: How is a gorgeous girl different?

[ShySoul]

. But the reason I started this thread is because people do seem to categorize gorgeous girls differently, and I genuinely wanted to explore that, to ask why, and maybe even to inspire someone to contemplate it for themselves in a way they usually don't ... And I thought it was very important to bring it up, to discuss it. That seemed more useful than just dismissing it as silly.

 

It is important and interesting to view different people's opinions, thanks for posting the topic. I think you need to hear all sides to reach the best conclusion. So I was just throwing in my opinion since I don't see things like most people and figure that in saying what I say it may cause someone reading it to reexamine their opinion. More opinion the better, right?

 

I've also been told I was all of the negative assessments that appear in this thread. And I've been told I was also the positive comments that appear here as well, all based simply on how I look. I don’t know if I'll ever stop being amazed when people draw quick conclusions about me based on outward appearances.

 

People have that unfortunate tendency to judge somebody based on initial appearance. But that you get such differing opinions shows that different people have different standards. Also, they may be biased because of past experiences. If someone is a redhead and all the redheads I know have real smart, I'll associate those things together and think she is smart. It may be completely untrue, but people do it.

 

The race question is interesting to me because I'm African-American, black. When I think of gorgeous girls, I typically don’t think of white women. I think of women like Vanessa Williams, Chaka Khan, Tina Turner, Halle Berry, all gorgeous, but in very different ways.

 

Interesting point. Might it have something to do with the environment your raised in? If you were surrounding by African American influences early on, you may have carried this view with you.

 

It just depends on which side of the assessment her self-awareness falls

 

True.

 

And whenever I do observe a gorgeous girl who thinks her looks are valuable, using that to get attention, I usually feel sorry for her because she seems to be someone who is crying out for love in a way that will give her just the opposite.

 

True again.

[Miss M]

. But the reason I started this thread is because people do seem to categorize gorgeous girls differently, and I genuinely wanted to explore that, to ask why, and maybe even to inspire someone to contemplate it for themselves in a way they usually don't ... And I thought it was very important to bring it up, to discuss it. That seemed more useful than just dismissing it as silly.

 

It is important and interesting to view different people's opinions, thanks for posting the topic. I think you need to hear all sides to reach the best conclusion. So I was just throwing in my opinion since I don't see things like most people and figure that in saying what I say it may cause someone reading it to reexamine their opinion. More opinion the better, right?

Yes, I agree, and that's also my point. As I said, I started this thread to get a view of different opinions, as many as possible. And as usual I agree with lots that you've said, and your overall view on this. But also, some of your comments seemed to dismiss the questions I asked, and also the opinions that I wanted others to openly share with me, and even the thread itself. But yes, ShySoul, I always welcome your input.

 

People have that unfortunate tendency to judge somebody based on initial appearance. But that you get such differing opinions shows that different people have different standards. Also, they may be biased because of past experiences. If someone is a redhead and all the redheads I know have real smart, I'll associate those things together and think she is smart. It may be completely untrue, but people do it.

Agreed. And it reminds me of the comment, "What you think of me is none of my business." But sometimes that's difficult to remember.

 

The race question is interesting to me because I'm African-American, black. When I think of gorgeous girls, I typically don't think of white women. I think of women like Vanessa Williams, Chaka Khan, Tina Turner, Halle Berry, all gorgeous, but in very different ways.

 

Interesting point. Might it have something to do with the environment your raised in? If you were surrounding by African American influences early on, you may have carried this view with you.

Well, yeah... absolutely!

[smallworld]

Hey Miss M,

 

Thanks for the enlightenment! The off-handed comments make sense to me even though I don't necessarily agree with them. I've long since figured out that we humans categorize others into convenient stereotypes to suit our own selfish intents. I'm not looking to date a "gorgeous girl", so I have no need to see them as any different as any other woman. The guys who do and who are insecure about what they have to offer such women, have a greater need than I to draw sweeping generalizations about such women in order to tell themselves there is a logical way (rules and mind games) to go about seducing and keeping such women.

 

If they only knew the truth. Every woman -- gorgeous or not -- wants to be loved, understood, and admired for who she is and who she is alone. Engage her heart, mind, and spirit better than anyone else can and she's yours. What mind game can top that???

 

I totally understand what you mean when you say it's odd to have others judge our worth and assume things about us because of the way we look. I grew up in the South and in my small town I was the first Asian to go to my elementary school. For awhile I was a minor celebrity the blacks and whites fought over (they didn't know how to categorize me), until I took my first gym class and blew their expectations of my athletic skills. Oh well!

 

It's funny now. I live in California and am just another face in the crowd. No one ever looks at me strangely and asks me "Why is your English so fantastic?" Or assume strange things about me like I know their one and only asian friend (because we all know each other right?), or that I eat their pets (no comment), or that I'm timid and will do others' grunt work (because asians are spineless overachievers right?) or that I'm "easy" (because of their lurid experiences around military bases on foreign soil.) Sigh... Yep that face in the mirror is me. Not!

 

I knew limiting my list of gorgeous girls to Faith Hill would be telling. ITA with you: Vanessa Williams and Halle Berry are stunning! I wish I had some women of all races to add to your list, but the truth is I've never been an avid connoisseur of "gorgeous women," so am limited by the mass media that I've come accross. I have noticed though that when I think someone is "gorgeous," it tends to be a woman of three races: white, black, or latina. I see more of these women in the media than I do images of asians, middle easterns, indians, etc. so those are the images I first think of when I am asked such questions. Interesting.

[asdf]

or that I'm timid and will do others' grunt work (because asians are spineless overachievers right?)

 

I really love that stereotype. Because it happens to be kind of true, and the fact that I'm not the quiet, submissive type makes me stand out more because I can't be stereotyped like that.

[Shinobie]

Iono im not too fond of the gorgeous batch of girls.Practically all the time ive ran into one they think im ugly or some of them put me down and think of me as scum.Cause what i personally think is that we did nothing at all for our looks nothing at all.We were born that way.They didnt do anything at all to achieve it so why do they brag and put it in your face.Sorry now back to the point.Thats how i feel about gorgeous girls and i stay away from as far as i can.I like less attractive girls more because they are usually shy and sometimes give me looks if im lucky.

[skyteph]

They didnt do anything at all to achieve it so why do they brag and put it in your face.

 

Because it's some instinct to like physically attractive people. We want to mate, and we want to mate with a person who will bring good genes to the table, so to speak

[Shinobie]

They didnt do anything at all to achieve it so why do they brag and put it in your face.

 

Because it's some instinct to like physically attractive people. We want to mate, and we want to mate with a person who will bring good genes to the table, so to speak

 

And also i believe that is our gosh damn right to act like human beings and not act like animals.We have a mind that can think up amazing, great, wonderful thoughts.Why not use it?IM not gonna go through life hey let me use a monkeys instincts ya!With these basic teenage thoughts most girls get burned by these heartless guys because they are hot and know they can take advantage of someone.I dont really care about that gene nonsense.Because the fact is the people that are good looking did nothing for their looks what so fricken ever so it doesnt matter to me they born that way like i said.They have no right to put people down.Cause ive seen people getting picked on for their looks before.Ok time to listen to Anna again and drown out my bad thoughts and just think good like maybe theres a girl like that.

[jordan_2]

I think that a gorgeous girl is one that has the confidence that she is beautiful (and by that I don't mean that she knows with an heir of vanity), but she respects herself enough to find the beauty in every aspect of herself and more importantly, others.

 

I think that a great example of gorgeous is angelina Jolie (and I'm sorry if this seems to superficial but here me out).

Angelina definitely is a very attractive woman, but it is her actions and presense which make her "gorgeous." The things she has done for the UN, and the help that she has given towards third world countries is something that shows the true inner beauty of oneself.

 

So to sum it all up, I think that in order to be gorgeous, your looks on the outside can be stunning, but you have to, have to have inner beauty, becuase your true self shows through no matter how long you keep up a front.

 

 

p.s. i agree with shysoul, asdf's picture of that woman is a pretty picture, however not "gorgeous"

[Miss M]

Hey smallworld, thanks lots for sharing more of your experiences. I started this off by saying it was questions for the guys, but I think your input has been especially helpful. And your further explanations here show a great deal of insight and wisdom.

 

And when you wrote...

If they only knew the truth. Every woman -- gorgeous or not -- wants to be loved, understood, and admired for who she is and who she is alone. Engage her heart, mind, and spirit better than anyone else can and she's yours. What mind game can top that???

... it felt as if you read my mind, yes. It's really very simple, but so many seem to miss it.

 

I totally understand what you mean when you say it's odd to have others judge our worth and assume things about us because of the way we look. I grew up in the South and in my small town I was the first Asian to go to my elementary school. For awhile I was a minor celebrity the blacks and whites fought over (they didn't know how to categorize me), until I took my first gym class and blew their expectations of my athletic skills. Oh well!

So it seems you've had the experience of having others expect something of you that wasn't ever there, then having them be disappointed when it didn't emerge as they expected. Oh boy, do I know that feeling. In those cases the "fantasy" of what another person is, is all in their own heads, but they seldom realize that. But then like you also said, the reverse also happens when they imagine something negative and fully expect that to show up as well. And I find it especially interesting(confusing) when someone has tried to knock me off a pedestal that I was never on.

 

And just for general interest, here's my fav shot of Tina Turner...

image removed

[MetallicAguy]

Because it's some instinct to like physically attractive people. We want to mate, and we want to mate with a person who will bring good genes to the table, so to speak

 

We pick the best mate who is the healthiest (thin but not anorexic, so it's like average). If the person has a symmetrical face, that makes us even more attracted to them, and the bigger the pupils the more attractive, etc.

[Stinkweed]

Okay, this has come up a few times but when I've asked about, I've never gotten any answers...

 

• How are gorgeous girls/women different and/or what is it that makes them different?
  
• What do you think gorgeous girls/women think, feel, want, that's different from the non-gorgeous girls?
  
• Do you ever go after the gorgeous girl specifically because she's gorgeous, and if so, why?
  
• Do you ever bypass the gorgeous girl specifically because she's gorgeous, and if so, why?
  
• What kind of guys do you think gorgeous girls/women want?
  
• What kind of treatment do you think the gorgeous girls/women want/like?

 

I'm really interested in answers from all ages.

 

• How are gorgeous girls/women different and/or what is it that makes them different? I dunno what a gorgeous girl is... never seen one.
  
• What do you think gorgeous girls/women think, feel, want, that's different from the non-gorgeous girls? I dunno
  
• Do you ever go after the gorgeous girl specifically because she's gorgeous, and if so, why? I always go for the wrong girls, so I wouldn't know what gorgeous is...
  
• Do you ever bypass the gorgeous girl specifically because she's gorgeous, and if so, why? Maybe... Depends on what your concept of gorgeous is... If it means smart and pretty, then yes, cause 99% of the girls I know are like that, are real snobbish...
  
• What kind of guys do you think gorgeous girls/women want? Someone not like me: someone fun, normal, I guess.
  
• What kind of treatment do you think the gorgeous girls/women want/like? I guess they must want you to be nice and a gentleman. And they must expect you to be caring and blah blah blah

 

I really dunno. I have huge problems deciding who to smile to and who to be an a**hole too. Cause some girls give me "the look" and some don't. And sometimes I think a girl is gonna give me "the look", so I just ignore her and turn the other way, but they end up not doing so, and I regret not having smiled and said hi in a nice way... And sometimes I smile and say hi and they give me "the look" and turn away real fast with a really snobby face (you know, that "who the hell does he think he is?" face, even though I might not even be remotely interested in the girl and just smiled out of courtesy, so I'd rather not feed their ego). So, it's really tricky for me to decide who to go for. Plus, I'm hardly even interested in any girl, plus I very rarely meet any new ones, so I'm kinda stuck with what I get for the whole semester (except this time I have 2 year-long courses with ppl I don't even like... hurray. And no, I hardly meet anyone out of school...). So, blah blah blah, sorry I'm feeling bitter, I just had an argument with my parents. And sorry if I wasted your time.

 

PS: if you feel I didn't waste your time: "the look" refers to that look they give me like I'm some psycho and like "who the hell does he think he is". And it bothers me, cause I'm not even interested in the girls who do that (especially after they've done it).

[Miss M]

sorry I'm feeling bitter, I just had an argument with my parents. And sorry if I wasted your time.

And I'm sorry about your parental conflicts.

 

And no, you didn't waste my time... not at all.

Thanks for posting.

[prozzack]

wow many LONGG answers

 

im superficial and i know it, i go for the hot sexy big assed popular girl

i like girls who are outgoing and whos mouths never shut-up

 

guys are superficala and we just cant help it

 

P.S.(if you hot p.m me)

[jordan_2]

prozzack....

 

wow, I really hope that ure joking cuz that's really shallow

 

I know as a fact that girls can genuinly not be attracted to a guy like you...

no offense bud, but if they are, it's only a temporary blinded attraction, because they're gonna realize that ure only thinking about ure own needs first...and I know ure going thru puberty or w/e and hopfeully u'll change, but ure neva gonna get respect from a girl....

 

and ure statement about all guys being superficial....those are only the guys who lack true self confidence...why else do they feel the need to have a trophy girlfriend? to mask their own faults...

 

hope you change ure perspective budd

[skyteph]

And also i believe that is our gosh damn right to act like human beings and not act like animals.

 

We still /are/ animals in a sense, maybe slightly more cultured, but we will always have primitive instincts for possibly thousands/millions of years to come.

 

With these basic teenage thoughts most girls get burned by these heartless guys because they are hot and know they can take advantage of someone.I dont really care about that gene nonsense.

 

My thoughts on why we do tend to opt for attractive mates, are far from basic (not to mention that they are correct) and that's a generalisation that you cannot back up. Not every attractive guy, who knows he's attractive, will 'burn' a girl. Sure, there may be some, but there may also be some unattractive people giving others a hard time about different things.

And also by not caring about wether you find someone attractive (keeping in mind that everyone finds different things attractive), doesn't that make you desperate?

 

They have no right to put people down.

 

They have no right to put people down, true, but you also have no right to make generalisations about ALL attractive people, over a couple of incidents that have occurred.

 

We pick the best mate who is the healthiest (thin but not anorexic, so it's like average). If the person has a symmetrical face, that makes us even more attracted to them, and the bigger the pupils the more attractive, etc.

 

Haha, well said, it's what I was aiming to say in my last post but you made it come out better

[ShySoul]

We pick the best mate who is the healthiest (thin but not anorexic, so it's like average). If the person has a symmetrical face, that makes us even more attracted to them, and the bigger the pupils the more attractive, etc.

 

So how do you explain all the people getting together and married that aren't in perfect health, big and not thin, not a symmetrical face, big pupils, etc.?

 

You know, I just saw part of an episode of Maury. There was this thin Latin guy who many girls would probably classify as gorgeous. He said he was in love with the most beautiful, sexy girl alive. The girl ended up being overweight and far from the ideal of a gorgeous women.Moral of the story? External beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Attraction like that isn'y governed by instincts, primal urges, or what we are told to believe is attractive. No, attraction comes down to the individual and the bond that forms between him or her and the partner.

 

And also i believe that is our gosh damn right to act like human beings and not act like animals.We have a mind that can think up amazing, great, wonderful thoughts.Why not use it

 

Shinobie, you are lightyears ahead of most people your age in thinking like this. Don't back down and don't get upset if people don't understand. Your on the right track, it just takes time to meet others who feel like you do.

[tufty]

as an aside - I wonder if it is sometimes easier for men to ask out the very attractive rather than the normal - A sort of , She's wonderful -so if I am rejected it's not a big deal as she probably knocks back most- where to get a rejection from a more homely type is more offensive -as you would think she is more likely to say yes?

 

Reason I am wondering this is a guy asked me out recently and was really nervous and visibly distressed while he was doing it - (I couldn't go and it's a long story) - But 6 months ago I had seen him easily ask out an absolutely stunning woman.

 

Why the difference?

[melrich]

External beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

Whilst I think that this is true to some extent (as you say there are many peopel who do not fit the common image of attractiveness that have found partners) there is a subsantial body of research that has identified humans are programmed to find certain "looks" attractive.

 

In the UK in the 1990's a group of researchers performed an experiment to determine if humans were "programmed" to respond to certain features.

 

In the experiment, over 300 babies aged between 5 and 7 months were shown 100s of random images of peoples faces 2 at a time. With each pairing, the image the baby focussed on longest (and mostly exclusively) was determined to be the image the baby was more attracted to. The results were quite overwhelming with the babies focusing on images of faces that had symmetrical features by a ratio over 8 to 1.

 

The other main attractant for males is supposed to be a hip to waist ratio of 0.7 or as close to in females. I do not know if this is actually supported by research but I have seen it presented as fact.

[asdf]

^ the hip to waist ratio has been researched.

 

beauty is definitely from the eye of the beholder. the thing is, most people don't see things too differently in terms of sexually attractive people.

[melrich]

most people don't see things too differently in terms of sexually attractive people.

 

That's where we disagree. Whilst I think it has been empirically proven that we are born attracted to a layout of features (nature), there is an enormous nurturing influence.

 

Ever noticed how often people end up with partners sort of resembling themselves (family). Ever noticed how many variants there are when you ask people what physically attracts them in a potential partner.

 

Also I had this discussion once with a group of friends, talking about peopel we had crushes or fixations on when we were really young ( sort of around 8 to 10) and almost everyone without fail still found whatever "look" the person they had the crush on was their most favoured "look" now.

 

I note even the photo you posted in this thread as your example of someone who is gorgeous, I have to agree with Shy, she did not do anything for me.

 

I think the variations in what we find attractive are huge but there are some rules about composition which are ingrained.

[jordan_2]

as an aside - I wonder if it is sometimes easier for men to ask out the very attractive rather than the normal - A sort of , She's wonderful -so if I am rejected it's not a big deal as she probably knocks back most- where to get a rejection from a more homely type is more offensive -as you would think she is more likely to say yes?

 

Reason I am wondering this is a guy asked me out recently and was really nervous and visibly distressed while he was doing it - (I couldn't go and it's a long story) - But 6 months ago I had seen him easily ask out an absolutely stunning woman.

 

Why the difference?

 

well tuft....i know for a lot of guys, depending on the situation, it can mean anything...

for example, if I genuinly like a girl I will have the hardest time asking her out because i'm afraid of waiting all that time for a potential no (and ironically im in that situation right now but yeah, like

but going back, I think that he didn't really take the girl as seriously so he didn't see much of a threat of rejection...but yes ure statement can be true at times, where its like "oh yeah?? well at least i got within two feet of her to ask her out...you try to do better" I think that a better looking girl is more of a trophy for them, and that's where it becomes a game (which personally boggles my mind) but if its a genuine interest, the dude's gonna be nervous, so take it as an akward compliment lol...

[Miss M]

Hello all,

I found these two comments from wynterose and tufty to be an especially interesting contrast...

 

Most 'regular' guys don't approch her, because they are intimitated by her. How awful to be rejected by a gorgeous woman??? Easier to get a rejection from a non-gorgeous girl, right??? The guys that DO approach her are obnoxious guys who are in 'love' with themselves. They don't fear a NO, because they think they are better looking than her.

 

Thus, she has trouble meeting men and the ones she does meet, are not her type. Sad.....

I wonder if it is sometimes easier for men to ask out the very attractive rather than the normal - A sort of , She's wonderful -so if I am rejected it's not a big deal as she probably knocks back most- where to get a rejection from a more homely type is more offensive -as you would think she is more likely to say yes?

 

Reason I am wondering this is a guy asked me out recently and was really nervous and visibly distressed while he was doing it - (I couldn't go and it's a long story) - But 6 months ago I had seen him easily ask out an absolutely stunning woman.

 

Why the difference?

 

Well, I'm definitely starting to see why I've been confused for so long.

 

Thanks again, all.

[asdf]

most people don't see things too differently in terms of sexually attractive people.

 

That's where we disagree. Whilst I think it has been empirically proven that we are born attracted to a layout of features (nature), there is an enormous nurturing influence.

 

Ever noticed how often people end up with partners sort of resembling themselves (family). Ever noticed how many variants there are when you ask people what physically attracts them in a potential partner.

 

Also I had this discussion once with a group of friends, talking about peopel we had crushes or fixations on when we were really young ( sort of around 8 to 10) and almost everyone without fail still found whatever "look" the person they had the crush on was their most favoured "look" now.

 

I note even the photo you posted in this thread as your example of someone who is gorgeous, I have to agree with Shy, she did not do anything for me.

 

I think the variations in what we find attractive are huge but there are some rules about composition which are ingrained.

 

Yeah, you're right there. Nurture is a big part too. But I think that the majority of features which people find attractive can be shared in common (symmetry, health, clear skin (which can indicate fertility), smell, etc).

 

I definitely agree culture and upbringing has something to do with it (in some cultures, fatter women can be preferrable as that's a sign of wealth) Some people find petite women more attractive. Some women prefer bald men, some prefer hairy men, some don't. But I think these differences have a relatively small impact compared to symmetry, health, etc. ie, if a person is lopsided, sick, smells bad, then all the body hair in the world can't help you. Whereas I think a man with lack of body hair usually still has a relatively good chance with that particular woman if he's healthy, etc.

[melrich]

I think that the majority of features which people find attractive can be shared in common (symmetry, health, clear skin (which can indicate fertility), smell, etc).

 

Yes that is very true. They would definitely be common threads.

[ShySoul]

I think that the majority of features which people find attractive can be shared in common (symmetry, health, clear skin (which can indicate fertility), smell, etc).

 

1. What exactly is meant by symmetry? How symmetrical are we talking, and do people really notice this stuff?

 

2. Health isn't about attraction, its because we want to know the other person is alive and going to be there. How healthy are we talking about?

 

3. How does clear skin indicate fertility? I'm not seeing the connection.