i'm a virgin... he's not...

[Alex_1]

Hi.

 

Here is my situation. I haven't had much experiance with men. But I am with someone right now, and he's great. He is one of the most open minded, caring, generous, sweet, intuitive men I have ever met. And I feel very lucky that I have found him.

 

Recently we have been talking about sex, and more specifically about us having sex. He knows that I am a virgin, and that i haven't had much experiance when it comes to this department. And I have thought about this long and hard... I really want to loose my virginity to him.

 

But then we got on the topic of past lovers... and I found out that he's had quite a bit of experiance. I know that they don't mean much to him anymore, they were all in the past. Also, I found out that he is a little more adventursome in bed then most other people.

 

I am not too sure how I feel about all this. He is still the same person that I want to make love with. I know that he wont do anything that I am not ready to do. But all this does kind of bother me. I am trying for it not to... but that's not working out so well. Like I said earlier, I knew he had past lovers... but I didn't know he had quite as many. Do I have a reason to be worried/bothered by this?

[activelife81]

well, im a virgin too and i'm with a girl who isnt...and at first i thought it was going to be impossible to accept the fact that she had slept with 4 other people in the past....but i grew to love her and know her sincerity when she said that she regretted it and wished it hadnt happened. finally i realized either i had to accept the facts, or let her go and lose the best love of my life....so i chose to work hard to accept it. it caused some very painful conversations between us at times but in the end i came out with my heart at peace about it...and with my heart completely and gladly devoted to her. i didnt get my dream of being with a virgin, but i got my dream of being with a girl that i know i would be happy spending the rest of my life with- someone i cant get enough of...and i would have been a fool to pass that up.

 

the main thing that made it tough for me was the fact that our "experiences" were not going to be firsts for both of us...that i was going to be the only one "new" to it all...it bothered me alot but in the end i knew she made me happier than anyone ive ever met and i do the same for her...so whatever comes from this relationship will be new and exciting to us both.

 

my suggestion: make sure you know each other really well inside and out before you decide to have sex...and make sure you know his heart is completely into YOU and you alone...and that neither of you have doubts about how you feel about each other. ask him how THIS particular relationship is unique, and why hes sure about YOU, moreso than his past lovers...and ask him what sex means to him, and why he wants to have it with you. is it just for physical pleasure or because he cant get enough of you and he wants to be as close and intimate as possible with you? good luck

[smiles314]

Hey! I dont think your crazy or anything for worrying about your bf's past lovers. I was in the same situation.. My first had several previous partners before me..at a young age. He had been very experienced or so he said. Well, at first it bothered me a lot- I wanted my first partner to be a virgin - in my mind i always thought would be the best experience for me.. But i was so in love i just didnt care. He didnt pressure my either and it finally just felt right- and i dont regret it at all.. I was never worried or bothered by his previous experiences. I dont really know why, i guess in my heart i know i meant more to him at that moment then anyone else. And he really wanted to be with me.. So i say dont let i tbother you...because i lot of people have experienced more than others..and in a perfect world he would still be a virgin too.. But 2 virgins dont always end up having the best sexual experience together- someitmes it can be awkward..So maybe bc hes experienced it will relieve some tension for you and he will be able to guide you...

 

Now of this really matters though.. In your heart you'll know if it feels right. Just dont let anything rush you. Just let it happen, and he loves you so just focus on that...

[Gilgamesh]

Everyone gave excellent advice here Alex, I just wanted to add, that if you do decide to make love, make shure he uses a condom at all times.

[bolinga7]

Hi,

 

Here is my situation. I am 23 and a virgin, and all my life I have wanted to wait till marriage to make love to that special man to make love to him, but I have met a really wonderful man, who is not a virgin and really wants to make love before he is married. I really love him much, and I really want to be with him. I am soo confused right now, and I really want to be with him sexually. We have known each other for several years, since we were like teenagers, and now we are adults, and very much interested in each other. I am in love, but I am scared, because I want my first time to be special, and I really don't want him to leave me after we do make love.

[party_of_italy]

I'm a 15 year old virgin and am currently dating my first love. It was actually just last night for the first time that he told me he loved me, and I was so happy that I felt the same way and was able to say it back. But like I said I am a virgin and he's a year older and isn't. He's pretty experienced, and I'm scared just like you. I know that for the time being I don't want to lose my virginity yet, but when I do I want it to be with him. And I know I can trust him and if he loves me like he says he does he'll wait til I'm ready. So the same goes for you, If he really cares for you, he'll stay with you til your ready, and then hopefully everything will work out. I just hope that my bf can guide me when the time comes cuz I don't wanna be a disappointment to him.