Advice on a different kind of case......

[kerrymorris81]

Okay, so I said I was going to keep N/C after the ex broke up with me. I didn't. But I'm not the one who initiates contact. She is. I am just playing it cool, being friendly. The reason the break-up happened is things were moving way too fast and she has unresolved feelings about her ex. They were together for 3 and a 1/2 yrs. and we started dating about a month and a half after he dumped her.

 

I know, bad move.

 

She just wants to be single and get over him, because if she doesn't, she will never be happy in a relationship. I know this, because I held her when she cried, comforted her when she was down.

 

My question is: In a case like this where no ill feelings caused a breakup, is there a chance of getting back together? I'm letting her make all the moves and giving her space. More importantly, for you ladies out there, I listen to her when she is down about her ex and give her advice. When she gets over this, will me being there for her matter to her? Thanks, appreciate it.

[chai714]

I wouldn't advise her about her ex. That is between her and her only. Women normally just want you to listen. When you start advising her, that's when you could start moving into the F R I E N D S zone. So, in short just be there for her and listen to her. Give her more time (set your own personal deadline, but don't tell her) to get over her ex. Meanwhile, it might not be a bad idea to date others.

[heloladies21]

No harm in dating her a month and a half after her last relationship. And don't believe that excuse about her wanting to be single. It's just an excuse she thought up to explain why she's not into you and wants to date other people. And stop giving her advice and turning into her girlfriend. She will not get back together with you cause you help her with her problems. No Contact is the only way to go at this point, otherwise this situation will just end with you getting the wrong idea and hurt twice as bad.

[scottfromoz]

if she wants space give it to her cause if you dont you will just anger her further, i did things the wrong way pushed to hard to get her back and well its taken a month for things to get back to being cool, listen to people when they ask for space be ther efor them but dont puch them

[phishgirl]

Hey, sounds like you're her 'rebound' relationship. She sounds very tied up in her former boyfriend, and she seeks very much support in you. She needs to realize her losses on her own; you are possibly in the role of 'supporter' that she needs now so she doesn't feel alone while she's coping. If you want this to work with her, initiate no contact until she has dealt with some of her issues. Only then will you be able to tell for sure if her interest is in you, not just someone to support her in her breakup recovery stage. You seem to be a generous, thoughtful person, and if you would allow her to have her space and come to YOU, she will soon realize what she's lost and what she currently has in you.