Oh green eyes.

[DownTrodden]

Hi, im a first time poster...long time lurker though.

 

I have been dating my girlfriend for quite a while now and I am very happy with our relationship. It is by far the strongest relationship I have ever been in. But, I have a quite a problem with jealousy. I find that I can barely handle her talking to one of her male friends on the phone!

 

 

Now, I have been hurt rather badly in the past in terms of being cheated on, but I dont think thats a good reason or excuse for how I act. I know how i act bothers her, but not becaseu shes shared with me, but because i can tell.

 

See, shes not very open with how she feels and I have a vey hard time finding out whats going on. So, this obviously, doesnt help my jealousy problem in the fact that I dont like not knowing whats going on. Im not bossy or controlling, really, im not. I just....I dont want to lose her. Shes the best person i have ever met and I am ready and willing to commit for a very long time with her. (see: forever) Its just that if shes not open with me about the small things, how can she possibly be open with me about the big things?

 

Any advice on how to handle how i feel and how to counteract how she responds/acts would be greatly appreciated. Id personally like it from both perspectives...meaning, if youve been jealous in the past please explain how you helped yourself.

 

And if youve been rather reclusive with hwo you feel to you bf/gf...(prefferably, to your bf) please explain why and how you/he/she might have helped you throguh it.

 

 

THANKS

[dunno_wat_to_do]

well.........u hav to be brave with this. this mite seem slightly drastic but ask her if she is two-timing in a laid back manner as possible. if she isnt she wil tel the truth but if she gets angry she obviously cant stand you being protective. if she feels the way you do, she will cast it aside like a bad smell and carry on with your relationship. gd luk

[misery12]

Man, this is oddly familiar to the situation I used to be in.

I am guessing you're around my age (16).. and my ex girlfriend used to always bottle things up, just not tell me, nor her friends how she emotionally feels, so this would leave me guessing, and second guessing things. Mostly all of her actions I would disect and think "why's she doing this" when it could have meant nothing at all.

 

I think I got to seem needy/clingy because I would ask her how shes feeling about us, due to the fact that she never said "I love you".. or "you're sweet'' or .. "I like you so much" .. or anything that would keep me reassured she still likes me. I know where you stand, and it sucks!

 

What you have to realize is NOT to come off as needy/desperate for her attention, WHATSOEVER. Make sure you keep all your friends in case things don't work out with this girl, you still have your buddies.

 

Show her that you're independent, and when you talk to your girl.. make sure she knows you dont want to be anywheres else, BUT.. when you're not with her.. do your own thing.. it's good to think about her, but don't let thoughts of her keep you from doing your own things.. gets you nowheres.

 

Seriously, just play it cool.. if this girl were to cheat on you.. Would you actaully want to be with her? She's more likely to cheat if you're always there nagging on her, because the more you push on her, the more she'll pull away. I learned the hard way.

 

Just remember, she's with YOU.. and dont' get worried until she gives you a reason to be worried.. such as flirting with guys, hanging out wtih guys.. alone. Thing like that.

 

Keep your head up, and keep your dignity, she's just another human being, treat her like a princess in a boyfriend perspective.. but don't treat her like gold in a desperate perspective.