Food For Thought FOR THE HEARTBROKEN

[PlayBrat]

I just wanted to give a few thoughts for those who are home pining, crying, or HOPING against all hope that they may get back with an ex....whether it be because of a break up...a "break"..or whatever...that there IS hope. Hope is all we have.

Why do we hang in there? For that OCCASIONAL crumb of niceness? Or that ONE email that we dissect for a week....wondering what it REALLY means??? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we check our phones incessantly for even a "missed call" that went unanswered? Or just a chance meeting?? Why do we feel like such LOSERS because this ONE person on a planet of BILLIONS, does not want us anymore? Why do we beat ourselves up and live in misery??

It all comes down to US. This person does NOT control our thoughts, our actions OR our emotions. We are in complete control. This is what HAS been lacking all along. We gave THEM all the control. They know this...and they abuse it. They WANT us to take that control back....this is absolutely paramount to them gaining respect in us again. No one respects the weak ...or the insecure.

So to anyone who is going through a breakup...or who wants an ex back......LET THEM GO.....and get yourself back!!!!! Be the best YOU you can be...with or WITHOUT them.

It truly DOES begin with you......be true to yourself..and the rest will follow...

[smallworld]

Well said Playbrat and worth quoting too. =D>

[sorryJason]

Why do we beat ourselves up and live in misery??

 

This isn't always the case, again in my situation, I had all the control of the relationship, and now my ex has all the control, which is probably going to be the best for thing for her, when she dates again, she will be in at least more in control of the relationship than ever before. BTW my ex broke up with me, incase you are wondering.

[volution]

It can also apply to us that have experienced little or no relationships - we almost grab hold and smother anybody that passes by and shows us a little love or affection.

Sometimes, we can find one in a billion, and they don't want us, they'd rather stick together with some evil scumbag that treats them like poo, and beat ourselves up over it - like I'm currently doing with someone...

[smallworld]

Sometimes, we can find one in a billion, and they don't want us, they'd rather stick together with some evil scumbag that treats them like poo, and beat ourselves up over it - like I'm currently doing with someone...

 

*Hugs* Volution. I've read your posts on soulmates, unrequited love, destiny, fate etc. and obviously this 'someone' is the one who's missing out on a very loving, spiritual man. Unrequited love is painful, but it helps me to think that if it wasn't meant to be perhaps it's because we were meant to love these individuals unconditionally so that someday they might have the capacity to love themselves enough to pursue what is in their best interests.

 

If loving her is hurting you this much, love yourself enough to let go. Tell her you'll be there for her if she calls, but you need to take care of yourself for now. If it's meant to be, your absense could be the very thing she needs to see the stark contrast between the painful reality of her situation and the pure love that you've given her.

[volution]

*Hugs* Volution. I've read your posts on soulmates, unrequited love, destiny, fate etc. and obviously this 'someone' is the one who's missing out on a very loving, spiritual man. Unrequited love is painful, but it helps me to think that if it wasn't meant to be perhaps it's because we were meant to love these individuals unconditionally so that someday they might have the capacity to love themselves enough to pursue what is in their best interests.

 

If loving her is hurting you this much, love yourself enough to let go. Tell her you'll be there for her if she calls, but you need to take care of yourself for now. If it's meant to be, your absense could be the very thing she needs to see the stark contrast between the painful reality of her situation and the pure love that you've given her.

 

I feel so alone right now. I've found this lady, someone so utterly the same as me, yet like every time in my life, my heart is imprisoned in a dark wasteland of unwanted love. At the start, reading her words, were like reading my own. There is a connection I have to her that is so strong, undeniable, spiritual.

I feel she has been damaged, as have I, yet she is drifting away from me, and my life is already full of unbearable stress and pain.

I already want to kill myself, and I honestly can't take this again. I have been worn down by over 10 years of unrequited love - pain and crying at night inside, my heart is worn out, I have beaten my physical body up quite badly - I feel like 80 inside and outside.

I'm going to pieces... This world is so unfair. I've tried to get professional help, but I've been let down badly. My family is hopeless - they don't understand and just have a go at me.

 

I can't let go of this lady - much as I have tried to. I thought perhaps I was just clinging to someone, because I feel so alone and depressed, but the depth of my feeling is far beyond that. I'm utterly convinced she is my soulmate, perhaps even twin flame.

I'm the sort of soul who can't 'live' without loving someone. I feel lost, without a light or guide when I don't have anyone to love - I just meander aimlessly around, wondering what the hell is going on. I know some of the more romantic people here might understand what I'm going on about.

To live, I *have* to love, someone.

Many times, she has said she wants to meet me (it is long-distance you see), we have talked a few times on the phone, but she keeps saying that she needs to be alone, to heal. She seems to be depressed and detatched - she was hurt badly by a much older man who seemed to stalk her over the last year.

I've tried God's best to be patient and understanding, noble and loyal - but even saints couldn't take this much longer.

I love her so much, and would give my whole life to her, yet I don't know how much longer I can last, waiting, before I meet her in person - to find out if our connection is indeed meant to be...

All I know, is if I let her go, I will regret it for the rest of my life - because I swear on my soul and my life, this is not just 'another fish the sea' - this is my One .