How did I get so angry?

[blueyes25]

Hello All!

 

well, I finally got angry at him, but am not sure if these feelings are normal.

 

We have been apart since 6/24...n/c between then and now has been good...I said I did not want to talk. I was doing so well and then this e-mail arrived last week from him. Below is the link if u would like to read it:

 

link removed

 

Tonight, 7/29 and for a couple of days I have felt angry...angry at everything I let him put me through, at all of the empty promises, and broken dreams, and for the limbo situation he seems to want to keep me in...or whatever. Anyway, I had a couple beers tonight and came back to my hotel (I am away on business right now.) and decided to check e-mail etc. Well, he happened to be on-line and I sent an IM...that he did not respond to and then I just poured out my anger (no, I did not use any profanity or expletives or say anything I regret)...he never responded and I don't really care about that. (This is the first time I have done anything like this since we broke up.) Anyway, I felt like I was closing the door myself and I needed to get it out.

 

Anyway, I feel better...is that odd? I am not sure where the anger came from but I am angry...I am beginning to see things I didn't see before.

 

I hope this is normal...

 

For some reason, I just want to get out of July! It has been a rough month and a half and I am so looking forward to a new month without anything that has to do with him. I feel like I am finally moving on.

 

I guess the IM was kinda a relapse, but I feel like I needed to get it out b/c of the type of anger I feel...I just wanted to let him know that I was done and that I thought his e-mail was bulls$#@ and that I wish he would've never sent it...and that women like me don't wait and that he shouldn't flatter himself.

 

Yikes! Anyway, what's done is done...but I feel relieved...not sad! My emotions never make sense anymore...I am sure I will regret this in the morning...

 

What do you think?

[PendingVendingmachine]

I think we all go through the same thing! Except NEVER let him respond to ur ims anyway! i found myself unblocking her from AIM and trying to talk to her, but itry to force myself not to, once, i msged her and told her to stop telling my friends to block me, and told her taht my new g/f is coming to pick me up.

 

The trick is to not let them respond, or theyll hurt you back!!!!

 

So if ur gonna say anything to them, say it quick, something that will hurt them, and then get rid of any possibility of them responding, it will make you FEEL SOO GOOD!!!! OMG!!!1

 

I hate my ex g/f, sOO MUCH! yet i LOVE HER!! SO MUCH!! hahahahhaa!!1 im not crazy, we're not crazy, its just how we deal with things..

 

 

I think ur a really good person, and i can relate to exactly how you're feeling,

 

just dont talk to him where he can talk back, lol, BTW - If you dumped him, then forget everything i said, but if he dumped u, then, lay it all on him!! and tell him that ur screwing around with so many guys, itll make him want to kill himself, lol

[blueyes25]

Just to clarify, he left me...and when I IM'd, I'm not even so sure that I wanted to hurt him...I just wanted him to know that I didn't need his guilt or pity and that girls like me don't wait around...I just finally got angry. I didn't say anything that hit below the belt...I just told the truth about how I was feeling in a scathingly, sarcastic way...I don't want a response...in fact, it probably would have been better to vent to a g/f or something, but I was tipsy, and alone and it was Friday night...not a good combo. We can't be perfect all the time. Hey, at least I did not p/u the phone. However, if it stung him a little...then good! I just felt like since I could not get finality from him..then I would make it for myself...and that was what I did. I didn't want to feel like a victim anymore...b/c I am much stronger than that!