He found someone but I’m still interested

[lil_dark_angel]

I am petrified that this post will somehow get back to him or anyone he knows so the male in question, I will call: 'Jonathan'.

 

9/10 months ago I responded to a personal ad on the net. I had searched and searched on quite a few personal ad sites already and was relieved to finally find someone who really did catch my eye. The problem was that he lived in America and I am all the way over in the UK. I decided to go for it anyway. (I had contacted other people too but Jonathan was the only one I was interested in romantically.)

 

We talked when we could. Not as often as I would have liked. Then for a few months I didn't hear anything because my pc broke and it took a long time to fix. I moved on in life and tried my luck elsewhere. I met new people but my mind occasionally went back to Jonathan. I was thinking, "I should do something!!" but I didn't because I am too shy. That was a big mistake because now I feel like I am missing out.

 

Out of interest I went back to the personal ad website and searched for the people I had once spoken to. I didn't find Jonathans ad. It then dawned on me, I was too late he must have found someone.

 

I talked to Jonathan via an instant messenger this morning for the first time in a few months and I learned that he is now in a relationship and that he is also in love for the second time. He did not tell me this directly I read it on a profile through a link he sent. (I can't explain fully how I feel so I'll keep this short.) I did feel a little upset because the relationship he is in must be serious and that means I have no chance whatsoever. I think that the best thing I can do is back off. I have no intentions to split them up.

 

"There are plenty more fish in the sea" which is true. In my eyes there is no one else like him. Which is why I feel drawn to him. I would really appreciate it if anyone could give me any advice about this situation. If there is any!! Thank you for reading anyway!!

[annie24]

Welcome to eNotalone.

 

Honey - He lives sooooo far away! Yes, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. I understand what you mean about being "drawn" to someone. I think that certain people enter our lives for a reason. Maybe there is a reason he has entered yours - so that you know that a man like him exists somewhere in your area! Maybe you two were just meant to be friends.

 

Anyways, put your profile back up on the site, put up a pretty picture of yourself, and find a man in the UK! One that you can see who lives a walk away, or a cab-fare away... not one that's a $1000 international flight away!!!!

[michelemybell]

Good advice Annie!

 

Angel, it's sooo easy to idealize someone you met online as "perfect"--because you honestly dont know anything about him--only the things he presented to you (which I'm sure were absolutely perfect!). I know this is a toughie and your heart is going to be hurting, but definitely do what Annie said--keep busy with your life and get out there. You will always remember this guy, but you will get over it and meet someone wonderful.

[lil_dark_angel]

Thank you, i do agree with you. Just so you know, i haven't put my life on hold because of this person.

[annie24]

I know you haven't put your life on hold. But, here's the thing, eventually, boredom will set in. Here's a man who you can't be with, can't see, and who has someone else. You can crush on him all you like, but one day, you're just going to get bored, and then you'll get over him.

 

I understand - I've had crushes on men who live far away, but after a while, you just wake up one day and say, "what's the point?"