I'm almost numb, how could he do this??

[giggle3474]

I've posted several times about the problems I am going through with my boyfriend. In short, I said I wanted to break up with him over something I thought he did. I didn't mean it and he's been angry with me for about 2 weeks now.

 

Last weekend, we hung out on Saturday. He said he missed me, we had a good time. He had some things to take care of but he said he wanted to get together later. He never called me, never returned my messages...basically stood me up.

 

We talked about that and worked it out and then he called me on Tuesday. He said he missed me, he wanted to see me and said he missed the fun we used to have.

 

We got together the following day. He was super flirty with me, holding my hand, putting his hand on my knee at lunch, hugging me, etc. I questioned his actions a bit because I was curious if he had finally surrendered to the fact that we belong together. = ) I told him I couldn't be his friend- he said he didn't want me to. He said he loved me and he wanted to keep trying even though we both should know it's gonna take some time.

 

We ended up making love that day. It was great. He stared into my eyes, told me he had missed me soo much and it had been too long. I considered this a breakthrough. He had been so hesitant on having any physical connection between us, I took this closeness to mean a lot more than it apparently did. After that, he had to go to work but he said he wanted to see me the next day. He called me after work that night and he told me to call him when I got off work the next day so we could arrange things. I called him a few times but he never answered, never returned my messages.

 

I ended up going through some very stressful things with my family yesterday and I was very upset. I called him from my moms house and he answered but he supposedly couldn't hear me. I tried calling back a few times but he had turned his phone off. I'm pretty sure he thought I was crying because of him and he didn't want to deal with it. I then went to his house but his roommate said he wasn't home. He called me after that and I started to tell him what happened with my family. Then I asked him why he stood me up. He said he didn't, I never called him. He could have called me, right?

 

We got in a huge argument and he said some really nasty things to me. I feel used now. I feel like he didn't mean what he said about missing me, he just wanted sex. I feel like he is seeing someone else even though he denies it. To me it's no longer about what I said about "breaking up". I feel like he's done me so wrong, I don't know if theres anything he can say to make it up to ME.

 

I can't cry because I have done so much of that. I'm so hurt at the way he was acting yesterday. I think I've made myself too available to the point where I've become disposible to him. He said he loved me, he said he cared about me. How could you do this to someone you care about?

 

Theres nothing more I can say to him about how bad I feel about saying what I did. Theres nothing more I can say about how much he means to me or how I love him with everything that I am. I'm growing resentful but I still want it to work out. I still remember how happy we were even 3 weeks ago.

[hurtwou]

hey hunny....I know what your going thru. I am so numb right now, my ex eddie said he wanted to work things out, then he stood me up....whats with that? He did it a few times, and everytime I got my hopes up thinking wow hes comin up were workin stuff out, but he never does....it hurts im all cried out, and there comes a time when you dont believe a word he says...and you move on...good luck