Shy/Too confident

[Blackmsmithdave]

I am a fairly confident person, well now i am, but used to be soooo shy, so i was kinda hoping that this could be a place to post success stories so that shy people can draw a little confidence from our experiences.

 

Also i have found that as i have become more confident and found it easier to talk to, flirt and ask girls out, and be able to seduce easy girls. Well, having been a shy guy i now find that my sense of whats right gets in the way. I turn down easy girls becasue i dont want to be just anouther of the scum bags that bed them and leave them, but on the other hand i really feel like just having a good time. I end up being more concerned for the girl than myself. not something you normaly find in some one with a little too much confidence. Confidence vs Conciences ( i know i spell badly). Has any one else had any experiances like this?

 

Lastly can you be confident from the start and still be a 'nice guy'?

[elveden]

Well, I don't understand exactly what you're saying, but yeah, confidence is a huge part of a successful relationship. Like you imply, too much can ruin one, so you have to get it just right.

 

Having confidence in your partner will mean that you don't jump to conclusions, often being incorrect. All in all, it's having trust in one another..

[ShySoul]

Confidence vs Conscientious? (that is a hard word to spell)

 

You need to be confident in yourself, but aware of the affect your words have on people. That's why I've spoken out so much against the idea of being "arrogant" or teasing, because it is very likely to hurt someone's feelings, rather intended or not. When you approach the level of being "arrogant" or "co**y" then you are risking alot and could wreck everything you've built up.

 

Of course you can be confident and still be a nice guy. Nice guys are more confident then most. It's a matter of seeing that the kind of person you are is precisely the kind of person you should be, and that you will end up better off for being that way.

 

You stole my topic idea, you know. I was going to do a shy guy success story post shortly. But that's ok, as long as there is someplace for the success to come together. As for me, I'll get back to you with my tale soon. The universe like to make things complicated for me, so its still a work in progress.

[DropToZero]

I used to be horribly shy...I mean to the extent that I really had no close girl friends, and I rarely went to any parties(and if I did I felt somewhat out of place), and I had my close friends, but I was never truly set on making any new ones.

 

Over the past...oh...year or so, maybe less....I have made dramatic improvement tho man. I gave up being worried about what everyone thought of me and came out of the shell lol. It might have taken a few good pushes from my friends...at least my best one, but it's awesome being out there and more out-going now. My best friend would even look at me from before and tell me I almost seemed miserable in life because I was used to sitting at home on a Friday and Saturday nite, and really didn't go out much beyond going out with just close friends(guys) to the movies and playing games and stuff. He's even noticed recently I'm more happy than I've ever been in life...I'm out making new friends, having a great time, figured out sooooo much about women in the past few months and I went from never even being able to get a girls phone number(in romantic interest), to getting my first real kiss and possibly what could be a good relationship soon with a girl that I just met a few weeks ago. I mean it's awesome...I'm having soooooo much fun now, and I cannot stand to sit at home on a Friday and Sat. nite....god it drives me nuts.

 

Umm...dave...I dont get this sentence either

 

Well, having been a shy girl i now find that my sense of whats right gets in the way

 

Lastly can you be confident from the start and still be a 'nice guy'?

 

Yea of course, what I found out(from the girl I'm 'with' now), is that's exactly what I've learned to be. There's this one kid who I know who normally can get girls all the time(but I dont really like him), but for some reason or another, he can get girls easily. I somewhat learned what he was doing, but still adjusted it to my own self....the point is to be a little bit over-confident(b/c a lot of guys have trouble with this and question themselves on it), but funny at the same time. If you're just straight up co**y, it will turn girls off...so that's why you add sarcasm. But this girl I'm 'with' now doesn't like this kid, and at the same time I mess w/ her just about the same way I mess with all girls(somewhat like him)...teasing them and flirting a lot, but she still thinks I'm really nice. Nice can be defined in many ways...a lot of guys are doormats tho...and you can't be that. There's such a thing as 'too' nice.

 

Ahh well..I've talked enough...I love my success tho...it's nice to look back at the way it was and compare it to the current way it is now. Oh, and Shy, I have to be a little bit curious...what's the "everythings changing in (blank) days" countdown for?

[ShySoul]

DTZ,

 

Never such a thing as too nice. It's that attitude that makes it harder for the real nice guys to go about their business and for the world and society to advance.

 

Hey, I don't go to parties. I don't care about making new friends. I'd say I have 3 people who I would actually consider a real friend, and two of them were made this year. I sit home on Friday and Saturday night. And yet, I don't think I need to change cause I like the guy I am. And most people seem to like it as well, including the ladies.

 

I've been meaning to ask about that kiss. Didn't you say in a past post that it wasn't what you had hoped? That it was disappointing? So can that really be considered a success? Sure you got a kiss, but if it wasn't the moment you had waited for, then its a let down and only accomplishes the fact that you can brag about no longer being a KV (kissing virgin).

 

Well, having been a shy girl i now find that my sense of whats right gets in the way

 

Since he's not a girl I think I'll try translating. "Well, having been a shy guy (or possible "having been with a shy girl") I now find that my sense of whats right gets in the way. He's saying that he respects the girl and his sense of right and wrong won't let him get that arrogant, too confident attitude. To which I say, right on!

 

Oh, and Shy, I have to be a little bit curious...what's the "everythings changing in (blank) days" countdown for?

 

Wouldn't you like to know? Sorry, that information is on a need to know basis, and for the moment you don't need to know. Let's just say that destiny will be fulfilled, history will be made, and everything is put into focus. You'll just have to wait and see...

[Blackmsmithdave]

cheers shy soul for being able to read and use your head, lol, i wrote it at about 2AM so i woz not that awake, but i have modified it a bit, so hopefully it makes more sense. sorry to all that i have confused.

[DropToZero]

I've been meaning to ask about that kiss. Didn't you say in a past post that it wasn't what you had hoped? That it was disappointing? So can that really be considered a success? Sure you got a kiss, but if it wasn't the moment you had waited for, then its a let down and only accomplishes the fact that you can brag about no longer being a KV (kissing virgin).

 

Well...we should keep this out of the posts...but yes that is what I said. It wasn't disappointing...it just wasn't what I had expected...when in reality...I had no idea what to expect. What I meant in saying that...is, you know how people say when they kiss someone they're truly in love with, or they think is 'the one'...they say when kissing them that you just feel like there's a spark or something? I just was expecting something like that...when in reality I am having a great time with her, I know she's not 'the one.' And that is expected...It would be highly unlikely that I'm going to find the one person that is right for me in the first time it happened. So I guess I had built myself up for what is 'should' have been like, when in reality it wasn't like I thought it would be. It does not mean it wasn't a 'success'...I'm not braggin on it either...I just never..or shouldn't say never, but I would rarely post in any kissing posts because I had no experience, I do my best to stay out of posts/ideas that I really don't have any experience in. It's hard to believe someone to be right or true about what they say when they really don't have any personal experience of their own. I mean, you or I can take and put advice in areas we don't know much about, but in the end you may be giving bad advice b/c you don't truly know what it's like.

 

 

Let's just say that destiny will be fulfilled, history will be made, and everything is put into focus. You'll just have to wait and see...

 

...Interesting...

 

cheers shy soul for being able to read and use your head, lol, i wrote it at about 2AM so i woz not that awake, but i have modified it a bit, so hopefully it makes more sense. sorry to all that i have confused.

 

Yep...alright, I don't wanna take over this post...someone else put some 'success' stories/info in here.

[ShySoul]

If I don't have personal experience I go off of the advice and words of the people I trust who have experienced those things. So when I post in the kissing forum I basically say to not think and just go with the flow, as thats what everyone tells me.

 

I expect that when I have a kiss, it won't be like I expect. It will be better. Odds may be that I don't find the one first time out, but my life has always been about making the impossible possible, so why can't I? The spark will be there for me.

 

Ok, other success stories, come on down....

[Blackmsmithdave]

you sound pretty confident and level headed, and you also seem like a nice guy so she will be very lucky.

 

I do post in the kissing advice, but not in the sex, ive kissed enough people, but i dont yet feel that i have enough sex esperience to post there, so i kinda know what you mean.

 

yes success stories come on down.. we neeeeeeddddd you here,lol