Any help would be great!

[ben37d]

Alright well i have an old message and i need help with that and what happened recently. I will cut the old message down here so you can just get a jist. Just skim through it really i need advice about what is on the bottom.

***Well lets see... where should i start

Well first a little info about me. I am 19 years old and in college. I am in a fraternity, but definitely dont fit the stereotype. Im basically a hopeless romantic and always want to make girls feel the best they possibly can.

So now for the situation and girl... Well it began a couple months ago when i met her at one of our huge parties (well really met her, i had seen her a couple times before). We hung out but in the beginning she liked another guy. I convinced her that he was no good and we ended up developing an alright friendship. I then took her to my fraternities formal and we had an incredible time (think college prom with your closest friends and lots of alcohol). Before the formal she told one of my brothers that she saw me as a friend but after then she hasnt really mentioned the friend thing anymore.

So after formal and for a while until now, about 2 months, we have gotten to know each other very well. Everytime we see each other we flirt all the time. And its not an innocent flirt. I do a wide variety of things. i have listened to things she said she loved when guys do them to her and have done them. We hug all the time and not just a quick one or anything. She is very complicated though. No matter what i do things are different from day to day. Some nights will be the nights we are hugging and she is in my arms, i run my fingers through her hair. Other nights its a little different and im not sure if it is because of her friends or not (although i have gotten to know them very well also). We basically hung out at least once a week if not 2 or 3 times. And that doesent count when we would text message or IM each other. We didnt talk for a while once and she sent me a message saying she really missed me and i needed to call her cuz we had to hang out. Lately we have been doing other things

There was a party where i came to her rescue and small things happened but i figured id let it go cuz she was extremely wasted. After the whole thing she said that i made her night like usual.

So she left lfor a month but i made sure to take her out to dinner before she left. When i asked her to go i did it in a discreet way but did say hey lets go out to dinner which we had never done before. "***

 

Now heres the thing. She came back this weekend just for the past two days. We ended up partying both nights but not extreme or anything just chilling and playing some drinking games. The first night we all had an awesome time and me and the girl flirted a lot like always. Its innocent for a lot of it but it does get more intense sometimes. She kept flaunting her camera which had "pictures" of her that i wasnt allowed to see. But she made sure to not let me see them about 20 times she went through them? (i did see the pictures by the end of the weekend). By the end of the first night we had an awesome time and i was laying with her on a couch (one hand on her thigh in skirt and the the other holding her neck and head) and we were just talking. It sucked though cuz we werent alone and couldnt be cuz her best friend was there. The night ended and because of her friend i was nice enough to let them share my bed but i was pissed off. The next day i worked and came back and she was here for another night. We did basically the same thing as the first night but it was more of just 6 of us hanging out instead of a bigger group. I proceeded with what i did the night before but last night it was different a little i think. Its weird how it happens. But i went on with my flirting and we ended up at the end of the night her laying on my lap and we were talking. I wanted to kiss her so bad but i just get worried especially since her friend and another person were in the room. By the way they wouldnt shut up. We ended up somehow getting on a topic later on about relationships and nice shy guys(me). She said im shy but not counting when im drunk. Now im not socially shy but i guess the term would be relationship shy. Very scared and worried about that. I figure thats what she meant cuz im not really shy around her at all. But i know she said stuff about how she wants a guy kind of like me but i know she isnt into just the nice guy. I just dont know what to do know. I snuggled with her a little when we all finally went to sleep but gave her her space just in case she felt uncomfortable (there i went thinking again). \

I know its been long but here is where i need advice. She left again until late august unless i go to see her. I wanted to talk with her before she left but her friend got in the way again. So what should i do. I know its better to do things in person and i really want to but thats just possible unless i wait a month. I can contact her through online or on the phone or text message whatever. Should i tell her how i feel? or that if she only knew how much i wanted to kiss her that night? i dont want her to think im shy or scared of her even though im scared out of my mind of not having her! what should i tell her if anything and how should i do it. I really dont want to suffer the next month or two with this inside of me again its tearing my emotions up and stressing me out. and i want her to know how i really feel even though i tell her things all the time i just want to make it official that she knows and get an answer. I just wanted to kiss her this weekend and see what happened but i let my mind get in front of me... HELP

[greenmonster]

Easy there killer...

 

You sound somewhat like me when I was your age. I was in a house and had girls all around, but like you I wasn't shy as far as I will go up and talk to anyone and do crazy stuff in public but when it came to relationship stuff I just never could muster up the courage to say what I felt. so I ended up having a lot of girl friends in college and not many "girlfriends"(too many one night stands though!)

 

so I know where your at man and I know it sucks.

 

My advice is that you have to play this time apart from eachother very very cool...

 

I mean honestly if you tell her over the phone or whatever that you wanted to kiss her the other night then what is she going to say??? oh I wanted to kiss you too lets make out on the phone??? prolly not. just be cool right now with everything and let the summer run its course. establishing a friendship with a girl before dating is by far and away the best thing to do and thats what you have done so far. so dont make the mistake of blurting out all these emotions and all this soft hearted crap all over the phone. it just wont work, it will give her too much to think about and could scare her off. because right now it sounds like she is out just having fun not doing anything and being a kid on break. I know it all hurts inside to have so much pent up but use that to go to the gym and get your beer drinking gut worked off. feed off of that energy to take this month and a half and get buffed up some and get a tan, then when she sees you in september there will be her friend in a new body that she cant help but notice. by the time the first date party you guys have in the fall you will know if it will work or not. just play the game right now my friend....thats all I can tell you..

[ben37d]

finally thank you for a reply that really hit me... i had posted this a couple times trying to get a good word of advice and this was perfect!!! thanks a lot man

[greenmonster]

not a problem man...glad I can help.

 

You sound like a great kid, and she sounds like a really great girl, so I hope it all works out for you.

 

post something in september or october and give us an update on how its going.

 

But I am totally serious about the gym part man...even if she thinks your a cute guy and even if you work out now....get as much gym time in as you can. your in college and your on summer break...that means you wake up at noon start drinking beer at 1 and dont stop till 4am every day...well thats what it was for me. but take some time and get cut up, tan and clean your damn house!!! these are three simple things that while they wont change a girls opinion about a guy completely, they will lower any reservations about him...

 

Best of luck bro...