Is She Thinking Of Cheating Or Making A New Friend?

[Confused_as_hell]

well i have this g/f and we haven't been going out THAT long but, i always thought we had a strong connection. Well to sart with an the jist of things, basically for a lil bit there was kind of a trust issues mainly due to some things i saw on myspace that she had written about other guys, now i confronted her about it and she just god ma d because she though i didn't trust her but i told her that it just seemed kinda funny that's all, but i mean most of the comments were made before we started to date. Now we've had our tiffs and we just finished a kinda big one, and since we've been fighting she's been talking to this guy she met up in Washington, where she is moving, she told me from the 1st day they met like a month ago that she's just looking for people to meet up there so she has a friend, well apparently this guy likes her, and he told her that, she swares to me she doesn't like him back, but The fact he calls her everynight and she talks to him not only for what seems like hours on end, but also about mine and her's relationship problems. Now since we've fought she's been acting a ili different, kinda distant too me, not really wanting to do the niver things like she used too, she got mad and stopped telling me she loved me and this was a week ago today, she's just changed it seems...but the fact is, is that even when we talked on the PC about our problems, i asked if i could call her, she said i couldn't because she was on the phone with this guy, and it took a lot of pleading to get her to let me call her....so i dunno what to think, i mean lastnite i asked if i could talk to him online to get a feel for the guy, she agreed, but then when we were there she wouldn't say anything, well she would say things when he would say like "i have to be up early" and she was like "What when?" all quick, which is something that kinda stood out too me....So is she just trying to play games, is she trying to hook up with this guuy but just wants to keep me around until she leaves or what? i mean i told her how him calling her makes me feel uncomfortable and she told me "it does bother me, but i'm mad at you so i don't care". so ya, any advice on what you think would be GREATLY Appreciated.

[apollocreed71]

best to break up with her, before she leaves you for him. she is moving there, then what, they will only become closer. in any relationship when someone becomes close to someone the same sex as their partner, the chances of an affair go up ...... thats life....it may not be the motive, but i happens frequently. even being a guy i would not try to start a new relationship with a female when i am in a relationship, especially not talk to them on the phone for hours and ignore my gf.............

you gotta do right for yourself. but at this point she if finding something attractive about this guy....this is a new relationship for her and it is exciting, i sounds like she is a little board with you and she is shopping for a bigger better stronger guy....get the point.... you cannot make someone love you

[xmrth]

I really hate saying this, but your girlfriend doesn't seem like she's up to any good.

I understand how that MySpace works-- it's something where people flirt, I've seen comments left by people who I know are in serious relationships to other people about how they want to "sex them up" and do other things-- which is aweful.

Your girlfriend seems like she's just keeping you around until she leaves. What happens when she leaves, though? Will she be miles and miles away from you as she's moving to Washington? And she probably does like that guy. If she didn't like that guy, then she would NOT be talking to him for that long OVER YOU if she didn't like him.

I'm really sorry... but one thing that is good is that as you say, you haven't been going out that long, so if you two break up then there you go, you'll know what to look for in your next relationship-- you'll know what type of girl to avoid. You can only learn from this!

[RandomAdvisor]

I think xmrth summed it up pretty well. I agree with everything she said. Cut your loses now and break up with her. Friendships with a member of the opposite sex can often be a grey area in relationships. But the fact that your GF talks to this guy for so long even after she knows he likes her sexually...doesn't sound right. I also think she's just keeping you until she can be with this other guy.

[Shadows Light]

Nothing kills a relationship faster than distance. So, yes, she may have intended to make friends in the area she is moving to...but in that intent she's also found a "friend friend".

 

Take this with a grain of salt. It's a bitter pill to swallow but let it go. And let it go gently. There is no reason to argue. fight and make a drama out of it.

 

You both take from it something positive and learn from the negatives. Thats what dating is all about. The dance of discovery.

 

If she's distancing herself its a good sign that she's cutting ties slowly. Obviously she doesn't want to face the music or create a huge scene. There are one of a couple ways you can handle this. #1 You can go all Nuts on her and cause a blow-up. Which would effectively achieve the result of cutting all ties. #2 You can keep talk to her quietly and tell her that you've noticed the distance and it bothers you. You can tell her that you "think" she might be developing a "crush" with this internet friend, more than she is willing to admit to you or maybe to herself. Talk about how the distance will affect your relationship and tell her you understand. And you're willing to let it go and let her go in peace knowing that you had a wonderful friendship and that you don't need to burn bridges. #3 You can say nothing. And watch her squirm and see how she finally manages to lower the boom on you. If she lowers the boom on you. Could happen now, could happen before she leaves, or she could just fade off into the sunset.

 

I think you already know how this is going to play out. You only need to decide what rules you want to play by.