Either make it or break it, nothing in between....

[waytoodown]

Hey everyone!

Well, I'm gonna make this as short as possible!...

My bf cheated on me in the beginning of our relationship but I chose to stay with him. We have now been together for approx. 9 months. He has told me recently that he might get a new job. For the trainning of this new job, he would have to move away about 2-3 months.

I am scared because when he cheated on me, i was gone on a trip for a week... I keep trying to convince myself that he won't, but....

Do you guys think that it would be good for him to go away? It will either make or break our relationship I guess...

thx!

[smallworld]

What were his "reasons" (excuses) for cheating the first time? Did he express remorse and try to do things to reassure you that he'd never do it again? What makes you think he's susceptible this time?

[lillady898]

It may be good, it may be bad. Noone can really say until it happens and you actually live through the experience.

 

It wouldn't be right for you to tell him not to go (which I'm assuming you haven't), so your options are fairly limited. You can either 1. learn to trust him and continue your relationship, or 2. don't trust him and end the relationship.

 

I would talk the whole situation out with him first, so you can figure out exactly if and how he can rebuild trust with you while he is away.

 

I know it's tough to trust someone who has cheated on you in the past- I've definetly been there before- and it really sucks. Good luck and hold tight. I'm sure it won't be an easy task.

[loveydovey]

Yeah, thats kind of black and white, yet it isn't black and white. You have to, have to, have to %100 trust him while he's gone. Because if he's away and you only trust him a fraction of that, then you'll be miserable and will drive yourself nuts.

 

So, since we obviously can't turn our trust for someone on and off like that, it's going to be hard. But, maybe you could give it a trial and go from there. I agree with lillady, talk it through and let him know where you're coming from....after the 'trial' then take notice how your heart feels about him and about the relationship. If it feels right, that would be absolutely wonderful. If it doesn't, then at least you can say you gave it a fair chance