Missing

[blueyes25]

I have posted one other time before...if you'd like to read my story...I am under this section and the post is called "Trying to Heal".

 

Anyway, I have been doing ok...it's just I miss him so much. I feel wistful and my heart aches. I guess I just need some encouragement.

 

I am not having problems with NC or anything...it's just that well, I got an awesome bonus at work today and totally scored on a strategic marketing plan I created and presented. Everything is falling into place professionally and he would be really proud. This whole breakup thing has made work tougher b/c it is harder to focus. Regardless, I was excited and then I realized as I went to pick up the phone, that I couldn't share that with him...it really made me feel down. It is in times like those that I am really reminded and it just hurts.

 

I just feel so much sorrow when I think that we could possibly never talk again...he was my best friend

 

I was so desperate for consolation the other day that I actually went looking for a psychic to help me feel better...and trust me, this is not in my character. That is something I would never do, but I did it...just to feel better for a little while. Anyone else ever done some silly stuff like that?

 

I think I am just finding that I have to grab on to happy moments and realize that love comes from all around - not just relationships..not that I didn't know that before - I just realize it is easy to lose sight of that when you are feeling so much pain. Love comes everday from friends, family, co-workers, even my dog - but more importantly - Myself!

 

Anyway, if anyone has any words of advice to cheer up my day...let me know...

[sandela]

I enjoyed reading how both of you have seemed to have "soldiered on" (as my counsellor would say). Although since my break up (and the NC just stopped) I didn't have anything good to say to him. Its been since May - I was feeling at complete peace with myself until I initiated contact last week. We've seen each other and have a date on Saturday. Already I'm feeling the anxiety and the insecurities I felt before during the relationship as I was the one who could express feelings in words and in actions. I need words along with actions - apparently the actions were there but I know I didn't hear what I wanted. And I knew none of it was as much as I what I was feeling.

 

I really meant for this email to be for you that have trudged on and are do well....Congrats to both of you!

 

P.S. Did the psychic thing too - nothing was every infavour of ex - and supposedly I was supposed to find my true love in the spring and in August. Ya right!