Kind of confused

[KeenanHowry]

This one girl and I were dating and nothing bad happened or anything and I ended up being 15 minutes late to pick her up one day, the next day I had asked her if she was in a bad mood and she got pissed and ignored me for the rest of the day and the next, then she said she didn't want to date anymore at that point. So we had broke up but she still calls me on the phone every night and texts during the day and still wants to do things with me during the week and on the weekends. Then two weeks later she tells me that she is thinking about starting to date this one dude, but then a week later she tells me that she has decided not to. So we do some more stuff and everything else continues and then she tells me she is going on a blind date with some other dude and she goes on that and then tells me about it and says she is going on another one with him. She asked me if it makes me sad that she does all this and of course it does but she always says she only wants to be friends. Does it seem strange that she calls me every night and texts during the day and still calls me to hang out but at the same time says she only wants to be friends? Im not sure what to do with this because she always says we can only be friend?

[Arrowsmith]

I hate to say it, but it sounds like she's looking around for another boyfriend but keeping you around for emotional support in the meantime. That's not great. It's kind of like a guy using an ex-gf for sex while he looks around for a new gf, in a way.

 

In any case, always keep in mind that the way she treats you has at least as much to do with these other guys and what her status is with them than it does with you. She sounds restless and young. I don't think you did anything wrong (certainly being 15 minutes late isn't what triggered this).

[l0nelybutl0vely]

i think she still likes you - her asking if it bothered you was so that she would get a yes and feel satisfied that she made you jealous, telling her for certain you still like her too.

i dont get why you havent talked to HER about why she's constantly talking to you and acting like you're dating even though you're just friends. honestly i dont know one girl who would put that much time and effort into getting in contact with a guy unless she had feelings for him.

hope this helps.

[murasaki17]

She seems quite familiar as i do know someone who behaves like such. I believe she feels insecure within thereforeeee she's using you as a shelter incase if she gets rejected by another guy. You might want to talk to her about it?

[KeenanHowry]

im not real sure as to how to go about talking to her about us. I have tried talking to her about things but she always gets kind of defensive and will only say, "we are just friends" or "I don't know". She also tells me that im her buddy and stuff like that.

Yesterday it was kind of strange because I didn't text or call her at all during the day and then at 2:00am she calls me to ask why I didn't call her or text her during the day and I was like I don't want to bother you and then after a while she fell asleep on the phone. Then she calls me again in the moorning and wakes me just to tell me about her day so far and stuff.

Im not rela sure how to take all of this stuff with her, does she just really want to be a friend or does she want more deep down?

[shockeddismayed]

Dude,

 

She is playing you because she is confused. There is nothing you can do to break that cycle except show her that you aren't going to tolerate it forever. That means:

 

1) talk to her about it. Tell her that you don't want to "just be friends" (unless you do *just* want friends).

 

2) Stop returning her calls or texts... return them only when you feel like it, and make yourself less available to her. You certainly wouldn't feel the need to text your buddy 30 times a day would you? Of course not... so if you are just friends, all she gets is that level of attention.

 

Don't let her have her cake and eat it too. She won't respect you.

 

S&D

[KeenanHowry]

Dude,

 

She is playing you because she is confused. There is nothing you can do to break that cycle except show her that you aren't going to tolerate it forever. That means:

 

1) talk to her about it. Tell her that you don't want to "just be friends" (unless you do *just* want friends).

 

2) Stop returning her calls or texts... return them only when you feel like it, and make yourself less available to her. You certainly wouldn't feel the need to text your buddy 30 times a day would you? Of course not... so if you are just friends, all she gets is that level of attention.

 

Don't let her have her cake and eat it too. She won't respect you.

 

S&D

 

I feel like i am getting played, she called me up and wanted me to come with her to a movie and stuff and it was fun then on the way home I was trying to talk to her and she then told me, " I don't want to talk right now, i just want to think" then she did not say a word for the next 20 minutes until we got home.

[Ripples]

Not sure if you are still checking in here Keen but if you are be very careful with this lady. She is manipulating and abusing you and that normally means that she has big issues.

 

Take my advice and get out of there as quickly as you can.