Got my first Ph. number, how to tell if she has a BF?

[1899]

I dont know what came over me but I met this girl at a new congregation Im attending and approached her. We talked a little about where we were from and I found out that shes new in the area for 3 months from another state. The next time I saw her I asked if she wanted to hang out with me on the weekends and asked for her number. She wrote it down! I really feel like ive accomplished somthing. Now I have to plan somewhere to go with her. I wasent really all that nervous because I didnt know everyone anyway and she was smiling the whole time.

I am concerned about if she is already talking to someone else or not. One of the guys that I walked by on my way to my car mentioned "becarefull out there, (it was dark outside) and be carefull of those girls" I thought he was just being funny since he may have spotted me talking to her but, Whats the best way to find out if someone is already talking to someone else?

[lady00]

Someone who you have just met and who is seeing someone else won't give you her number, unless she's playing him. A girl with a bf would only give out her number if you had been friends for some time and had plans to hang out in a group or something and you needed to get in contact with her...by that time you'd know if she was with anyone though.

[easyguy]

Congratulations!

 

However, be careful, she might think you're just wanting to be friends with her. Just because you asked to hang out with her doesn't mean she wants to start "seeing you", but I'm not going to come to any conclusions based on your somewhat brief post.

 

And ditto to what lady00 said... she wouldn't give you her number if she already had a boyfriend if she knew you wanted to start a relationship with her.

[caasiopia68]

and that guy was probably talking about something else... and seconding what she said...

[SkyFire]

You are creating things in your head based on no real foundation.

 

Just call her and set up a FUN date with activities. NO dinner and movie.

[heloladies21]

Don't do anything overboard on the date. Nice and simple. This should be about you two just enjoying each other's company over cofee or going to a cheap diner like denny's or something. Great job getting her number though, i'm proud of you G! Proceed as if she doesn't have a boyfriend. If she has one she'll bring it up.

[btbt]

How to tell if she is seeing someone else? Ask her.

[easyguy]

But don't ask her straight up "Do you have a boyfriend?"

 

Mention the word "boyfriend" in the conversation somewhere.

[1899]

I cant just ask if she has a boyfriend because that question can be used as a weapon against me since I havent shown her a good time yet. She could say yes when in reality its no.

 

I was thinking of a few places we could go:

1. A huge mall, many things to do including eat

2. A bowling alley, complete with billiards, batting cage and mini arcade ,smaller but the main activity is bowling

4. Starbucks, but that may be at the mall anyway

5. uhh. cant think of anything else

 

whadaya think?

[wlfpack81]

2. Bowling alley is a great idea. Not to romantic and better than a movie since you can talk and stuff. Also sometimes competition brings out the flirst in people though you don't want to be too competitive. You're not out with your guy friends so have to tone it down a bit.

[easyguy]

Heck, use bumpers!

[1899]

Well, I called her to set up a time to hang out with her today and got my answer. After I ask if she wants to hang out she tells me shes already talking to someone and that she dosent want to lead me on. Oh well, atleast I tried. I figure I had no way of knowing that and I atleast got some experience.

[easyguy]

Yes, it's better to know (even if it is bad news) then to not know.

[wlfpack81]

Sorry about that 1899. Good that you did call since at least know you know.

 

And most importantly ladies...see how this girl was right up front and honest!!! She didn't use that BS "I see you as a friend" line with 1899. She was upfront and honest and I respect girls who do that.

[1899]

Yea, all I lost was time cleaning up my car, but it should have been clean anyway. This tells me somthing though. Dating is like a mine field, you have to keep walking though it while you are stepping on mines(rejections). And if shes talking to someone at this age, who knows how many others will say the same thing before I even reach 25. Id hate to be in this situation at 30. Everyone will be married by then!

[easyguy]

Yea, all I lost was time cleaning up my car, but it should have been clean anyway. This tells me somthing though. Dating is like a mine field, you have to keep walking though it while you are stepping on mines(rejections). And if shes talking to someone at this age, who knows how many others will say the same thing before I even reach 25. Id hate to be in this situation at 30. Everyone will be married by then!

 

Minefield, eh?

 

And don't worry about the age thing. When it happens it happens. The worst thing you could do is become desperate.

[1899]

Yes a minefield, because I have no idea what im getting myself into until I actually let the girl know I like her. It would be nice if everyone carried around a sign that said, Status: Im stuck up, or Im taken, Im talking to someone, im married, I have issues, etc. And of course you have to try or else you get NO action. You see what I mean?

[easyguy]

Love is complicated. I know what you mean. I have have yet to have one successful relationship.