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He said he loves me and would love to be with me, but...

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He said he was looking for a virtous woman to stand by him and respect and love him, one that he could trust always and carries herself with respect in public. He said he would love to have me as his wife and that he probably is missing out on his blessings, because he looks at me as a sister and that he was to close to my mother and younger sister.. I do not understand???

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We never dated but the feelings we have for one another is real as one love, but because he said he is so close to my mother and my sister that he looks at me like a sister, even though I was never really around him that way.

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  • 2 weeks later...

He says I love you and you are the right one for me but he is stuck on a woman who is verbally abusive, and deceptive. I got to think that maybe it is a sexual hold somewhere between them, and everything else is just an excuse regarding where I am concern..

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Regardless of how I feel about this guy, I cannot set myself up for hurt or failure. Nor do I want to get caught up in any hidden drama's and I have not told him this yet, because I am human and sort of sad and depress regarding the situation in general, and really I don't know what to say to him or where to begin?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm curious to know if this man is older or younger than you and how long you have known him? If he says he loves you and you are the right one for him then what is he waiting for.


The fact that he knows your mom and sister well should be a good thing because your family already respects him as an individual. If he truly wants to be with you, then he should step up to the plate and forget this other woman that you mentioned.


If you truly love this man and want to be with him then you both need to sit down and discuss your feelings and get everything out in the open and dont give up on him.


The only difficult part would be that if this man is hung up on this other woman because of a sexual attraction, you need to be careful even if he professes his love for you and agrees to be with only you, you need to make sure that he is being honest and doesnt sway to the other woman for sex.

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hmmmm... let me put in my two cents.


Question... Who approached who first re: taking things further than friends? That answer will help me to further elaborate.


It sounds to me based on some of the terms you have used that you guys are in the church... am I right?


Believe that a man "knows" what he wants... and this guy should be straight up with you. Knowing your mother and sister/looking at you like a sister is NOT an intelligent reason for not wanting to date and take things further with you... it sounds like he's trying to "let you down easy" to avoid any conflict from you or your family... and you may feel this other woman is not suitable for him, but until he actually accepts that, give up and keep yourself available for someone who will be ready to be with you. She could be "Medusa"... but until he's ready he'll hang onto her harder than a monkey on the very last banana tree on earth...


According to what you've said, this guy's sentiments are totally contradictory...


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