love_is_key

I agree... it's okay for him to stay in a hotel... you guys have only been seeing each other for a month... and he may not be fully comfortable with habitation with them at this point and that's okay. I give him major kudos for agreeing to go with you! I also appreciate his honesty... some guys would have gone to your parent's home and either tried to sneak off to "get some"... or complained secretly to you about wanting to "get some"... so he's definitely acting appropriately... Re: your parents... I understand completely for I have a mom who does not recognize that I am multi-demensional... I am a woman... and I am her daughter... so the rules of my childhood still apply... I don't like it at all, however when parents have wills of steel... tis not much you can do nor will your defiance towards them accomplish anything 'cept disaster (LOL)... so relax... spend time with them along with your new guy... and then don't be guilty about venturing off a couple of nights to "get your groove on"... and don't let any form of insecurity enter your mind in thinking that the "sex" is the major feature of your new relationship... if it were he probably would not want to be around your family yet. That's just my opinion... 8) By the way... congratulations on finding a decent guy who does not mind being exclusive... enjoy this time in your life... you deserve it sister-girl! 8)

Babygirl... dump his heine... and tell him under no uncertain terms is he to insult your intelligence like that! There is no rationalization acceptable to explain why he's chosen to take a hike with an ex-girlfriend... and my thinking is... why did he not "just" go ahead... what made him tell you at the last minute... was he looking for a nasty argument to fuel his intentions on going... or to take some slack off of his guilt? Either way, what he's doing is a major no-no... and certainly a situation warranting you putting your foot down. Three years is a long time... I know you love him... so realistically... I don't really expect you to end it just like that. But... act in a way that will cause him to do one of two things... either he'll leave you (if he does you'll be better off... believe me), or he'll never do this again. I'd even venture to say... "DO YOU"... meaning... whatever or whoever you find pleasure in... have some fun without shame or guilt...

hmmmm... let me put in my two cents. Question... Who approached who first re: taking things further than friends? That answer will help me to further elaborate. It sounds to me based on some of the terms you have used that you guys are in the church... am I right? Believe that a man "knows" what he wants... and this guy should be straight up with you. Knowing your mother and sister/looking at you like a sister is NOT an intelligent reason for not wanting to date and take things further with you... it sounds like he's trying to "let you down easy" to avoid any conflict from you or your family... and you may feel this other woman is not suitable for him, but until he actually accepts that, give up and keep yourself available for someone who will be ready to be with you. She could be "Medusa"... but until he's ready he'll hang onto her harder than a monkey on the very last banana tree on earth... According to what you've said, this guy's sentiments are totally contradictory...

You're welcome sweet pea... AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOUR BUTT!

I'm sure you do sweetie... please... concentrate on being a mom and self improvement right now in your life... you do these things and love will find you... you can't love anybody until you truly love yourself... be encouraged dear heart... you are young and have a lot of life ahead of you... make good choices now... in order to live a fulfilled life later... Hell... boys aint goin' nowhere... :silly:

I think I need a Sweetie... see a therapist... for your daughter's and your sake... Peace...

Really... if you are still co-housing with your ex... a good man will only come so far... men can want you badder than an elephant wants a peanut... but they will be hesitant if you are living with someone and if they see you've gone out with another... it sounds like you are really infatuated with this guy... my suggestion is... stop playing with all the people in between... all the he-said/she-said stuff... and slip him an invitation... to some quiet time... maybe a light lunch... and lightly discuss how you feel... and how he delights you... you may be surprised of what he'll reveal... if he's a good man he'll certainly respect you for being direct and you'll at least be the wiser for the encounter. But by all means, keep all those extra folks out of the business. Oh... and believe me lady... unless a man puts his exact words up on a marquee with flashers... you can never assume a man's heart by his actions...

Maybe I misread... but it sounds like you're looking for someone to give to you... to love and support you... because you don't want to work "ever"... my question is what are "you" prepared to give? You are a mom now and if no one else steps up to support you and your child, you may HAVE to work... that is just reality... You seem very confused regarding both of these guys... meanwhile in the middle is a wonderful child... who needs a maternal/paternal figure in their life... what of that? My thinking is to spend some time alone... think about what "you"want to do with your life... for your betterment and the betterment of your child... self-preservation is Key... which means that no one is responsible for your happiness... but you! It's hard to experience true love if all you're looking for is someone to fully service everything you want, financially, mentally, and emotionally... or someone to fulfill your idea of what love is... Please forgive me if I sound harsh... I'm not trying to be...

Now there you have it... she's nervous because at least one of the animals are watching when you guys do "it"... okay okay... sorry... It seems you guys have studied all avenues re: positions, lubricants, toys, so the greatest advice would be seeking help from your wife's gynecologist... sometimes ovarian/fallopian cysts can be the source of pain during sexual intercourse... have her physician order a Cat Scan of the abdominal/pelvic area to eval the repro system... if anything is found there are certainly meds/procedures that will help. I think that is the greatest thing you can do... and as for the Depo Shot... I wouldn't recommend any woman take that thing... I did once... and I was drier than the Sahara Desert in the dry season! Good Luck to you guys!

Awwweeeee Davidsan... you're such a sweetie!

Hey guys... to answer your question Napoleon... I have known my "friend" for a little a year and a half. We became intimate about five months ago. When we first became intimate things were lovely... but he became to be inconsistent with spending time/talking with me. That's when the relationship we have became stressed. He has admitted to taking a woman to lunch... she works with him... I know it's more than he's telling me though. For instance, we agreed yesterday that I would pick him up from work and we would go to an outdoor concert. Afterwards, we would spend some time intimately... well when he came out to get in my vehicle, he seemed very distant, and agitated. I didn't say anything... when we got to the concert, unlike the norm, he was not affectionate with me... still I said nothing... so after the concert he suggested we go have a drink. When he got a little "juice" in him... the root of his frustration came out... he told me that his ex-girlfriend called him and informed him she was pregnant by her current boyfriend... that was the bottom line for me... I told him that I can't stick around and go through all of this confusion... I asked him what did he want from me... he asked me to love him... and I thought... where the hell does that leave me? If I'm giving "all" I am to him... and he's not returning the love... then I might as well sign my name on the dotted line... to take a fool's journey... For all who are going through these things... be secure in the fact that you are special... because you still have the capacity to truly "love" in this world... we are a dying breed... and know this... that the ones who are fulfilled by our love, yet do not count us worthy to give the love in return... someday they will regret it deeply. The final thing I have to say... is as long as I stay around, loving and nurturing my friend, he will take me for granted... I need to release him, redefine my dignity, and decide "if" I will ever give him the privilege of being loved by me again... Sorry guys... I just had to get that all out!

Thank You Shysoul for saying that... I agree and wish you the best with the woman you want. My friend also, I feel is afraid of a commitment, though he has deep feelings for me... he's been in some really bad relationships and seems to have a need to be "free" in this period in his life... I'm going to wait... but I'm also going to date other men... that will make things less stressful on "our thing".

A good friendship is important for a good relationship... but like my issue... many times if a guy has you as a good friend... it's hard for him to cross over... at least that's my friends dilemma... my friend said that because we were friends a long time before we became intimate, it's hard for him to see me as a "mate"... Awwww what da hell? I guess this may be a disfunctional example...

I have to say... thank you Napoleon... this subject is overdue... I was approached by a man who seemed to be really into me... we started spending time together and shared so much in common it was almost scary... we became good friends... a short time after that he sat me down and expressed that he had a girlfriend and that we should not go any further. So, with sadness I abandoned the notion of being with him and we kept the friendship. I was there for him through his unhealthy relationship. I gave advice, cheered him up, and just stood by him. Well... they broke up. After their split, he came to me again and this time we became intimate... I was so happy because I was so sure that we would finally be working towards "something"... how foolish I was. After much intimacy and spending time together, he still declares that we are... and will be... just friends... he states he's not ready for a relationship. Yet... when I try to back away he won't let me... I feel so confused/trapped... now it seems we always I wish I had not taken the next step with him... now all I want to do is run... from the feeling of shame and hurt pride that I fell for him.