confused

[justme1607307251]

i dunno how to start ummmm

 

yesterday i cut myself really really bad i thought it was going to be a tiny cut...ok maybe not tiny but something just normal but it wasnt.

i bleed for hours i was just i dont know i guess i had a panic attack or something...my first1.

 

im just afraid of being with myself i can hurt me a lot more than i could have ever imaginated .but i dont wanna stop i just dunno what i want, and im going to be alone at home a lot of time cuz my parents are on vacations and i am at home with my big brother but hes never at home he is always in a party or something...

 

im just affraid of cutting so bad...again

[arwen]

Can you stay over at a friends house, or maybe go to an aunt/uncle?

 

Take care,

 

Ilse.

[Just Kate]

Hey there, i can totally understand where you are coming from. When i am left alone in the house it is so tempting to just take out a razor and cut. But i have found that if i find something to do to keep me preoccupied i don't think as much about cutting. Even if it is just laundry or watching tv or something. I have been trying to quit cutting also even though i enjoy it and its not easy but i reckon if you really want to stop you will be able too. Well, i don't know if that will help you but yeah.....

 

Good luck, and keep me posted its good i can relate to someone

[justme1607307251]

Yes im gonna stay at a friends house but just for a couple days i mean i think its abusive ask a friend to stay at her house 3 weeks.

and about an uncle/aunt house i dunno i donot think so. most of them at mad at me b/c i told them i was ahteist but maybe i can stay with my favorite cousin he is an awesome guy and he is 26 but not to much time maybe just a few days.

 

im not completely alone at house the searvent is too.

and my little brother but he is at home only at night.

[Jazz]

hey u, i relate more than you can imagine, ive got cuts like none have seen. anyway listen now that its done there is gonna b a tempation everytime ur upset or something, pls u have to let one person know, u have to spk 2 someone in person whoisnt going to judge u. and tell ur famill how u feel. let them know u need thier attention ur 13 uve hit ur pub... stage.and u need them there. try to get a female if possible.

[justme1607307251]

i have told it to a friend and he is really suppportive i was going to tell it to friend but her mom died just a weeks ago and i think that i should be for her instead of making more prblems.and another person (she is not my friend but she says i am her friend...so whatever)i didnt told her is just that se read some posts on a web page and then she(like everyday) tried to "fix" me i told her i wasnt a cutter that i was reading that cuz friend was a cutter i think she believed that.

 

but im NOT ready to quit. 0X

[Jazz]

do u mean that ur not quite ready to stop cutting? if so its understandable, its a comfort to you right now, but look at it this way, the future.. ur gonna have them as a constant reminder and are going to have to explain them to ur loved ones( children...husband.. if u get married or if it goes that far). i do know how u r feeling, i do i wish someone would have noticed the bandade around my arm at school that was on for four years. and wanted ppl to notice besides my parents and brother who didnt get it. at the time,anyway to distract urself from it. try a hobby. im an artist, if thats ur style take up art. sports or something,u may not want to, i didnt at first but just really push urself, get motivated.its great way to meet new ppl and not be alone. if this helps let me know.

[scarredtemple]

Hey Just Me,

 

I'm wondering if you know some basic first aid? From one cutter to another, I know what its like not to want to stop or be ready to stop. From the threads, it sounds like other people know too. It's frustrating--my therapist said I sound like I really WANT to stop cutting, but that I may not be READY to stop. There's a difference between the two. Realize that noone can make you stop hurting yourself. Only YOU can make the decision to stop. In the meantime, until you want and are ready to stop, keep these things in mind:

 

1) Never use the same razor blade (or whatever instrument you use to s.i.) twice or share it with anyone else. Throw it out after you use it.

 

2) If you cut youself deep and there's blood, grab a clean towel or something similar and apply pressure to the cut. The more pressure the better.

 

3) Keep neosporin and/or vitamin E handy. Even though you don't think about it now, the person who told you you'll have scars and will have to explain them one day is right. S.i.-ing can really make a mess of future relationships.Rub in the neosporin/vitamin E and remember to apply it daily. Hopefully, it will help some of your scars heal.

 

4) If you have cut too deep and the pressure you're applying isn't stopping the bleeding, call 911. A good rule to go by is that if you're in doubt of the severity of the wound, or will be worrying about it constantly, or if you feel panicked at all, you should seek medical care. Hope this helps you.