scarredtemple

Hey Just Me, I'm wondering if you know some basic first aid? From one cutter to another, I know what its like not to want to stop or be ready to stop. From the threads, it sounds like other people know too. It's frustrating--my therapist said I sound like I really WANT to stop cutting, but that I may not be READY to stop. There's a difference between the two. Realize that noone can make you stop hurting yourself. Only YOU can make the decision to stop. In the meantime, until you want and are ready to stop, keep these things in mind: 1) Never use the same razor blade (or whatever instrument you use to s.i.) twice or share it with anyone else. Throw it out after you use it. 2) If you cut youself deep and there's blood, grab a clean towel or something similar and apply pressure to the cut. The more pressure the better. 3) Keep neosporin and/or vitamin E handy. Even though you don't think about it now, the person who told you you'll have scars and will have to explain them one day is right. S.i.-ing can really make a mess of future relationships.Rub in the neosporin/vitamin E and remember to apply it daily. Hopefully, it will help some of your scars heal. 4) If you have cut too deep and the pressure you're applying isn't stopping the bleeding, call 911. A good rule to go by is that if you're in doubt of the severity of the wound, or will be worrying about it constantly, or if you feel panicked at all, you should seek medical care. Hope this helps you.

You can live with s.i., but only up to a point from my perspective. What is that point? Well, not to scare you, but one point would be death. A lot of people are afraid that us cutters will one time cut too deep and end up killing ourselves. The other point, the one I reached recently, is just being tired of having to hide your s.i. I've been hiding my s.i. for almost 7 years now (i started a little older than you are now) and I don't know about everyone else, but for me, hiding it became exhaustive! I put a lot of energy into hiding my s.i. and its energy I can use to help me stop. That's a much better use of it. The longer you s.i., the harder it is to stop. I encourage you to tell somebody about it--just make sure its an adult you really trust. Here's an idea: If you have an adult that you trust, tell them and then ask them to help you tell your parents. That might make it easier for you. PM me if you want to talk. I don't want to see you down the same road I've been. It's not fun and its really lonely. I'm always here if you want to talk!

Hey Alien, It's a good sign to want to out yourself to your parents. It's a brave thing to do. If you still go ahead with it, I think you should just tell them the truth--in the end, they'll have a lot to deal with and will appreciate your honesty--as hard as it may be. Another thing...you might want to consider telling someone else that you trust first, that way, you can talk to this person openly and not have to hide it from them any longer. While you may still choose to hide it from your parents, at least you'd still have a relationship with them. Working while they're not home won't solve anything. Isolating yourself from them won't work and will only make them more suspicious. And going away to college won't be a panacea--it won't magically fix all of your problems. I have been cutting myself for almost 7 years now and I finally decided to out myself because I was tired of hiding my scars. I told 5 people I really trusted and have been working my way out from there. I decided not to tell my mother or grandparents. I'm not ready to tell them and I don't know if I'll ever be. I may tell my mother later (like when I'm 50) but only if it feels right. I am 21 and am finally moving out. I am moving to go to school, but it is a permanent one. I realized that I could never stop hurting myself if I still lived up here. Moving out will help, but I realize it won't solve everything. I will finally have a space to call my own and will be able to express myself and that will help, but I still need to figure out why I feel the need and urge to hurt myself. I wanted to make some progress on this before I moved, so I have been working with a therapist (once a week, free to me since I am not working and do not have insurance) over the summer. The idea is to have less 'baggage' when I move. What I'm getting at here is that you can't run from your problems--they will run with you and be with you wherever you end up. I am speaking from experience. Moving out may be a good thing for you and therapy at college campuses is actually affordable. If you want to hold off on telling your parents (I am not encouraging this--only you will know when it feels right to tell them), I suggest waiting till college. In college you will have the freedom to find out who you are and to mold yourself into the person you want to be. You can take advantage of the resources available to you (counsellors, therapy, etc) and tell your parents when you have a better handle on the problem yourself. They may react differently if they see that you have a grasp on this and that you're working to stop it. Hope this helps.

Why do people hurt themselves? Why is the sky blue? Each person is different and is in a different situation. My one friend cut herself in a place where it was easy to see. I think she wanted people to see it--not necessarily to show it off, so they would help her. I have been a cutter for almost 7 years now and I definitely don't show my scars off. I haven't told my mother or grandparents, and I don't think I ever will. I have told other people about my s.i., though, and they have seen my scars at one point or another. I'm somewhere in between. I think I'll always hide them from my mom. But at the same time, I'm working on being comfortable with myself to be able to wear whatever I want and let them show if they are going to. It's a hard thing. I've always been really self-conscious and this doesn't help, but it's a work in progress and will be for some time. Eventually I'll be able to wear a two piece bathing suit (or just a one piece without shorts), but until I'm 110% comfortable talking about it, I've devised an explanation for those who have to have their curiosity satisfied. Those who I've told know the truth and accept it. For those who I don't know, don't trust, or think would flip out, I nonchalantly tell them that they're growing pains--everybody has them; most people's are on the inside, mine just happen to be on the outside. Hope this gives you some insight into the reality of people who hurt themselves.