Shall I Go Open?

[aldrin]

Hi people!

My first post.

 

I was having a great life until recently when a disease that crippled me to near paralysis. Looks like nobody knows for sure how long I will take to recover to what extent. At first I just couldnt believe this is really happening to me and was hoping that this is just a nightmare and I may wake up any moment with a sigh of relief.. nor Im getting b old enough to accept the facts.

 

Me and my wife used to have a wonderful sex life, not anymore. I feel sorry for her. Looks like she is pretty frustrated too, she had shut off all her coontacts with friends and relatives and is indoors always, just staring at the walls. At times I feel like she shouldnt be penalised like this for my illness and feel liked I should let her have sex outside marriage. So long as she doesnt fall in love with anyone, I guess it wont hurt me much, if she does not keep secrets. Would like to have your advise please.

[crookster_man]

In sickness and in health....

 

sound familiar?

 

------------------

Any sickness/loss is tough on a relationship. But it can also bring you closer together. What you preposed though good intentioned is definatly not going to help anyone.

 

have you talked to her about this? (your feeling of letting her down?) If you think she resents you for your illness then you should definatly talk about it. Such negative feelings shouldn't be allowed to grow.

 

Perhaps counselling is in order? something to open the lines of communication. I'm not sure what or how sever this illness has hurt you. Are you incapable of sex or merely not interested in it anymore?

 

There are very few illnesses that can end a sexual relationship. Perhaps you need to become comfortable with yourself and accept your limitations. being injured doesn't mean you can't have sex, it just means you have to develop a new technique.

[dpressedone89]

im sorry to hear about your illness, as far as letting her have sex outside of your marriage, first i would like to say you are a very open minded individual and i admire that, she married you because she loved you and that is the same reason she is sticking by you now.perhaps if you are unable to perform sexually you can spend some time becoming closer emotionally. spend some time talking to her about how she feels about all this and ask her what she thinks would be best?

i wish you well on your recovery

-sTitchEs

[crookster_man]

oh yes, welcome to Enotalone ;o)

[thisisnotanexit]

im sorry about your illness. did you get it taken care of?

[darkblue]

It is a commitment we make; crookster_man said it perfectly:

 

In Sickness And In Health.

 

She cannot abandon you because you have an illness.

Talk to her, she's your wife!

Tell her how you see her frustrated and wished you could do something.

[Universe]

Read Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence. It's a brilliant book and a beautiful one at that. It's about a situation similar to yours.

 

Also, your wife sounds really depressed. I would suggest couples counselling. The two of you need to work together at this.

[Paranoid]

you can use your hands apparently, since you are typing. There are other ways to pleasure someone besides sex....

[Cydeways]

you can use your hands apparently, since you are typing. There are other ways to pleasure someone besides sex....

 

be creative, it may seem weird but, get some toys and show her whats up, no different than what you were doing before... right? stick... hole... motion...