Advice please

[serenity25]

Hello, I have posted the story of my breakup previously so I won't go into the details but I am really needing some advice on how I should handle things now. My ex and I have spoken several times since the breakup...never anything too serious. I always keep it upbeat and make myself sound busy..the times we do talk it is because of me calling him for some reason such as my grandpa dying. I've only called him a few times and it was always for a reason. He always called back right away which was an improvement from when we broke up and he wouldn't answer the phone at all or return a call. Then on my birthday last weekend he called to wish me a happy bday. We are long distance so we never see each other and I have never brought up the chance of us ever getting back together..but I still love him and I always hope that he will call. I still feel the connection when we talk and it makes me miss him more but I don't tell him that. Right now I believe that if he loved me, since he is the one who ran away from the relationship, he should be the one to say something...but he doesn't. Am I wrong to think that in the future he could change his mind? I really think he ran from the relationship out of fear..if you read my previous posts you would see why I feel that way. Am I right to send him brief messages or phone calls on holidays to keep in touch....am I right to not tell him that I miss him or still love him....I always make it sound to him like I am so busy and am content with other guys...he has said that he isnt with anyone but I'm constantly afraid that he will meet someone else and that will be it....so do I just play it cool and hope that he comes around, do I ask him if he sees any possibility of us in the future....I really don't want to do that because I don't feel that he really even knows at this point because I don't think he knows what he wants so he would likely say no. I really believe that there are still feelings there but that he is trying to turn them off and forget they existed because that is easier than overcoming our obstacles. Please offer advice on whether I wait and keep my own feelings and hopes silent or I tell him that I still love him....should I keep waiting and see if he ever calls again or will that just mean that he thinks I've moved on so he does the same...as you can tell I am very conflicted on this. Thanks for any suggestions or input.

[jnelson]

Hey angelbaby...

 

I know exactly where you are coming from - I am kind of in a similar situation. I haven't had a chance to read your original post with the details but if you have already told him how you feel and this is how he's acting then I think you should play it cool and wait for him to come around.... But if you haven't expressed your feelings to him I think you should let him know.

 

Remember, you only live once and I know it will be much better for you to know for sure one way or the other.... and how do you know that he won't have the same feelings as you do? If I was you I would give it a go and tell him exactly how you feel and go from there. If he feels the same way think about how much better you will feel.... And in a worst case scenario at least you will have some closure and be able to move on and focus on what you have to do.

[serenity25]

Well during the breakup I was very emotional and he knew how I felt..then I did no contact for awhile and when I did contact him, had a reason and never expressed anything about a wish to get back together. However I figured that since I was the one still calling him when I needed someone to talk to that he should have a pretty good idea that I still have feelings for him...

[jnelson]

In this situation I wouldn't assume anything...my ex gf used to call me a lot and I thought that meant she wanted to get back together...I was wrong....

 

I really think you should clearly tell him how you feel and go from there.....just make sure you are fine with whatever response he gives you