Friends?

[truthbetold]

I just started going out with this guy. He was friends with my best friend first. He is also my ex-brother in-law's best friend. Everything has been going great for us. But a couple of days ago something was said to me by my best friend that shocked me. My boyfriend had a thing for my best friend before he met me, no biggie. I found out the hard way that she sucked him off, but that still wasn't too big of a deal, I didn't even know him at that point. But what my friend said about him was what pissed me off. She told me she didn't think he was attractive at all, and that she would never go out with him because of his weight. (Ok I admit that he's a big boy, but it's not that bad, and besides I am not shallow. He is like 260 but he's kind of short. The weight is mostly in his stomach area, and he's been looking forward to getting rid of it, he just said with the way his life was going he never had a reason to lose any weight.) He is supposed to be one of her best friends, she always confides in him and everything, but this shocked me. I didn't think she was that shallow. AND she had to comment and say that he was TOO small. He's average, and she's a size queen so I was atleast expecting that one. I didn't know what to say to her. I told her I find him attractive, and that I couldn't believe how shallow she is. He is a great guy and I'm not just saying that because he's my boyfriend, I said that to her before we even started going out, and she has too. I really wasn't going to tell my boyfriend but after started to tell him a couple times and stopping, I finally decided he should know. I told him and now he says he knows he is going to treat her different, and that friends shouldn't say that to friends. On the other hand, besides her being shallow I also think she is jealous. She cannot stand to see us together, because she knows how much we are in love. He does things for me and I do things for him, and it's so sweet and mushy that no one can stand it. She has never had that, all she has had are fu.ck friends, and I think honestly she might be disappointed she missed her chance.

 

Anyways, I don't know what I should do, there is obviously going to be animosity amongst my best friends, and I don't know how to cope with it. Right now she is not my favorite person, I mean I respect that she could tell me, but what was the point, to make me feel bad, or to make her feel better about losing out?

 

Should I have even told my boyfriend about it? Or should I have kept it to myself?

 

What should I do if she finds out that he knows?

 

Thank You to any replies, they are always appreciated whether they are good or bad.

[Blackmsmithdave]

Ok i think that your right about your 'friend' being jealous, also it does sound like she missed her chance. She seem ed to be stricking out at him and you in a kind of blind pain, thingy. Well she possibly didnt mean it deep down but still she should not have said it and should be prep to take the consequences of her actions.

 

You were right to tell your bf coz there should never be secrets between lovers. Also as it was about him he had a right to know, what he choses to do aboput it is his business.

 

dont do anything if she didnt want something to come of it then she should not have said it in the first place. if you wish to remain friends then try to work around it as best as you can and if possible accept her personality flaws, remember no one is perfect. stand by your bf, and if she does slag him off then tell her to stop, coz its not necessairy.

 

lastly you sound like a lovely couple, im jealous, i wish you all the joy in the world. and i just hope that i have helped. X

[rubberducky86]

It does sound like she is jealous. She is supposed to be your BEST friend? Maybe you should tell her how you feel about what she said, because if she doesn't know she will probably continue to say things.

[Blurr]

I can't believe someone who was supposed to be his friend, and confided in him and such would say things of that nature.

 

Those are the types of things that really hurt deep down, I know because I am a slightly heavy guy and average as well. If my best girl friend had said things like that about me, I'd be devestated...

 

I think she (your friend) really needs to reevaluate whats more important to her...her own ego or her friendship with you and your boyfriend. I would confront her on it and say 'Look, I don't appreciate what was said and neither does my boyfriend. If we are truly your friends then be happy for us and leave it be.'

 

Don't know what else to say other than she is a very mean, bitter person for what she said.