How do you do a cold approach?

[1899]

Im currently attending a religious convention at a stadium this weekend with up to 10,000 nicely dressed people there and I swear you can find ANY type of woman you want. When we are released for lunch the place is PACKED. Sound levels are high. Now my problem is how do you do a cold approach on someone your interested in? Usually they are walking by with someone, in a group conversation, etc. your by yourself. So what would you do in this sea of women? Oh by the way, once you walk by, chances you will not see her ever again. Personally I dont know where to start. Any Ideas?

[chai714]

The first thing you do is make eye contact and say "hi." You want to make small talk on common ground - something about the ceremony, the decorations, the speaker, or anything related to the ceremony. Then, you introduce yourself. While talking with her, observe her body language. Look for signs that she's attracted to you. Also look for signs of discomfort. If you get to talk to her for 1/2 hour or so, go for her number toward the end or after the ceremony. You don't want to make it look like you're some pickup artist taking advantage at a big ceremony, so you can't jump from woman to woman. You can in a bar, club, or other social gathering but it's inappropriate at a religious ceremony. So, say hi, make small talk and establish common ground, introduce yourself, observe body language, get her number at or near the end.

 

I would advise different tactics if this weren't at a religious ceremony, but this is the safe bet and it won't make you look like a predator.

[annie24]

What about during the talks? When you go in to sit down, sit next to a woman you find attractive. Maybe before the talk/speech/prayer begins, ask her where she's from, or ask if you can borrow a pen.

 

Or, at lunch, when you are in line, start chatting with the girl next to you (if you find her attractive). Just friendly banter, nice weather, etc. Then, if things go well, you can ask her if she'd like to eat lunch with you.

 

Good luck and have fun!

[Caldus]

1. Establish eye contact.

2. Smile and say "hi".

3. Be situational (and maybe add some humor to relieve tension on both sides).

4. Go for the number or invite to lunch, etc.

5. Go from there.

 

There are bound to be some girls by themselves so just approach them. I know how it is with a lot of girls being in groups so it's kinda hard to approach.

[1899]

Its one of those statewide must attend events. I see everyone hanging off of somoene else, holding hands. I really feel stupid walking around by myself, Like im a lost kid. I try to look like im going somewhere. Since we have 2 hours to mingle during lunch I ususally spend most of it in my car listening to music with the A/C on but I know that wont help much. I figure this will happen every year until i get control of the situation. tomorrow is the last day..

 

I dont know why I get so self conscious when I spot someone im interested in, imean I think Im a great guy.

[Caldus]

It's normal buddy. It's called fear of rejection. Most guys have it. Only way you're ever going to get a date is if you approach.

 

I do want to ask the women this though: do you make yourself more available when you're single and looking? As in not being in a group of other people? Because it is especially hard for most guys to meet girls that are in groups. Make yourself more available if you want us to approach.

[Spirits Away]

I agree with annie. A little excuse like borrowing a pen would start something. It's non-threatening. If the girl show sign of fear/coldness, then it's 200% her problem.

[annie24]

Since we have 2 hours to mingle during lunch I ususally spend most of it in my car listening to music with the A/C on but I know that wont help much. I figure this will happen every year until i get control of the situation. tomorrow is the last day..

 

Oh no! That's the worst possible thing you can do! That's what the 2 hour lunch break is for - to meet people!!! Well, on the last day, try to mingle with some people, ok? I don't know if this will help you, but sometimes, I'm more comfortable talking to guys I'm not attracted to because I don't get as nervous and I feel more confident. Maybe tomorrow, you can talk to some average-looking girls, just for practice...

 

good luck!

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

That religious convention wouldn't happen to be the Billy Graham crusade would it? I don't think you should be picking up girls at religious places because it's rude to that religion. Religion conventions and places are a place to meet with God, not with girls.

 

I wouldn't go trying to pick up girls at some chapel or some mosque or some temple. It's plain rude. Be respectful of religion.

 

Im currently attending a religious convention at a stadium this weekend with up to 10,000 nicely dressed people there and I swear you can find ANY type of woman you want. When we are released for lunch the place is PACKED. Sound levels are high. Now my problem is how do you do a cold approach on someone your interested in? Usually they are walking by with someone, in a group conversation, etc. your by yourself. So what would you do in this sea of women? Oh by the way, once you walk by, chances you will not see her ever again. Personally I dont know where to start. Any Ideas?

[ShySoul]

Am I the only one that thinks it is funny to be thinking of picking up women at a RELGIOUS convention? I mean, if you talk to someone and hit it off, ok. But maybe the primary focus should be on, um, God?

[Caldus]

Am I the only one that thinks it is funny to be thinking of picking up women at a RELGIOUS convention? I mean, if you talk to someone and hit it off, ok. But maybe the primary focus should be on, um, God?

 

Yeah I personally wouldn't try a place like that.

[Markers]

I agree with those who say you shouldn't be there because of girls.. although it's obviously fine if you meet someone you like there.. but don't go there to look for girls.

 

Just talk to people and see if there's someone you specifically like and want to meet again. Don't go for like, 15 girls and initiate sex or anything!

[Spirits Away]

As long as he's genuine, anywhere's fine. But yes, i agree that the focus should be on getting to know god.

 

Too much restrictions you guys...

[Ursomeone]

I agree that he should be there for the purpose that is meant ..but i think it is not weird that he talk to girls in the 2 hours lunch break unless he start kissing the girl at the very first time which i think nobody does.. at least talking to people and/or girls is far better then sitting in the car and listening to the music and wasting the time and fuel of the car in order to keep the AC on.

[1899]

I notice alot of you talking about not picking up girls at church events,

 

Thanks for the advice folks, im about to leave to go there now, but I just want to mention that they STRONGLY encourage you to only date/marry in the religion. They figure that if you date outside the religion you are choosing someone that does not see the same moral values or spiritual things like you do. I know, its hard core.

 

So, if you are part of the religion and you go to a congregation in your area of about 100 people every Sunday, and there are the same 4 girls in that whole congregation, what other choice do you have?

 

And yes, its a must attend event, so Im not there JUST for the girls, id have to come anyway.

[annie24]

I agree with 1899. I know tons of people who have met their spouses in church or in bible study class. I can't think of a better place, really, to meet your future husband or wife - you already know they have similar values as you. And besides, the church wants people to hook up - why else would they put 10,000 hormone-laden young people in one closed arena? So they can meet, get married, have tons and tons of babies, and propagate the religion! And you're sitting in your car!!!!

[Spirits Away]

2 different ideas you guys are arguing.

 

1. Going to religious convention just for the sake of girls

 

2. Have same value as the people at religious convention; thereforeeee that is the best place to meet spouse.

 

I'll end it here

[Caldus]

I notice alot of you talking about not picking up girls at church events,

 

Thanks for the advice folks, im about to leave to go there now, but I just want to mention that they STRONGLY encourage you to only date/marry in the religion. They figure that if you date outside the religion you are choosing someone that does not see the same moral values or spiritual things like you do. I know, its hard core.

 

So, if you are part of the religion and you go to a congregation in your area of about 100 people every Sunday, and there are the same 4 girls in that whole congregation, what other choice do you have?

 

And yes, its a must attend event, so Im not there JUST for the girls, id have to come anyway.

 

If that's what they really advocate and if you truly want to meet a girl who is the same religion as you, then I guess I don't see the problem seeing as you won't be able to meet them anywhere else (except by chance). I was under the impression that this was just a typical church event or something.

[annie24]

Of course they want them to hook it up! Why else would they schedule 2 hours for lunch? It doesn't take that long to eat a sandwhich, chips, and a soda!

 

10,000 people.... the church is hoping for 5,000 marriages, along with 10,000-20,000 kids!

[Caldus]

Of course they want them to hook it up! Why else would they schedule 2 hours for lunch? It doesn't take that long to eat a sandwhich, chips, and a soda!

 

10,000 people.... the church is hoping for 5,000 marriages, along with 10,000-20,000 kids!

 

Yeah 2 hour lunch sounds more like a 2 hour long mingle session. Now he just needs to apply his game.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

I see. It's okay if you are already part of that religion and you just happen to meet a girl there who has the same faith as you. That's okay. But I just didn't like some atheist going to some religious thing just to pick up girls...that sounds wrong.

 

If you are already part of that religion and want to find a partner who shares your faith then go for it. As long as you are not part of that naked in church I talked about in a previous post...LOL...

[ShySoul]

If you happen to meet someone then thats great, but I dislike people who go into church looking for someone. I've heard people say they do that and that's just completely disrespectful to the church and to the people you meet.

 

they STRONGLY encourage you to only date/marry in the religion. They figure that if you date outside the religion you are choosing someone that does not see the same moral values or spiritual things like you do. I know, its hard core.

 

I really don't like that idea. It's as if they care more about spreading the religion then they do about what the message they actually are suppose to be teaching. People can be from any religion, or none at all, and still have the same moral and spiritual values. Don't religions stress the same basic values anyways... love one another, do the right thing, help people, make the world a good place, etc? Does it matter if I'm Catholic and the other person is Methodist? If we are both good people who like each other, religion shouldn't get in the way.

 

I've recently met someone who is precisely the girl I've always dreamed off, except she doesn't want to date outside her religion. Makes no sense to me. Honestly, isn't that just a means of separating ourselves from others when religion should be teaching that we are all "children of god" and stressing similarities, not differences?

[Dre_7]

It's hard enough finding someone special as it is, even without placing restrictions and boundaries on where you can and can't approach someone that catches your eye. Let destiny run its course, just be open minded and you can meet the girl of your dreams anywhere. But like most people have said, don't go to a religious event with your main focus being on meeting girls. And that applies to any place you go out to, let things happen natrually. Talk to girls, mingle, and there will be some that you'll like and they'll like you as well. And most importantly, always enjoy what you are doing; whether its work, school, church, etc. We are drawn to people who demonsrate a zeal for life.

[1899]

Well ShySoul, there are many more things that are discouraged, like who you hang out with for association, etc. Its about protecting yourself from others that may not share the same moral and spiritual boundaries. but the way it goes is if someone frankly dosent like it, theres the door. Well I dont want the door. But thats a worst case senario. In fact they mentioned it today. Its just strongly discoraged, much opposition. The marrage would be respected if it happened, but it wouldnt be blessed. Im going to do the best that I possibly can with my shyness and try to do things by the book.

[Caldus]

Best way to overcome shyness in my opinion is to take baby steps. Start by making eye contact, lock eyes, smile, and say 'hi' to several attractive women for a week. Then move to the next step of talking to them without trying to get their number (unless you feel like you're ready for that step). Just simply conversation. Then move on to the phone numbers and so forth. I guarantee that you will feel better after you do the eye contact exercise for about a week and will already be a little less shy with women.