So she called or so she says

[simon_uk]

Just received a text from the ex after dropping her stuff off, had a brief text chat.

 

Her: Sorry for ringing you last night, hope I didnt wake you up? x

 

(I had no missed calls)

 

Me: Didnt realise you did call?

 

Her: O rite, cool. Well sorry anyway. x

 

Me: No Problem. Did you get your things from your mum?

 

Her: Not been up yet but my sister has got the hair straighteners out. x

 

Me: OK, have a nice day. x

 

Her: U2 x

 

Me: I put the jelly bean machine in and certain DVD's thought you may like them.

 

Her: Aw Fanks x

 

So I ask you folks, what is all that about, she hasn't been for her things yet so it wasn't a message to thank me for dropping them off. She didnt say why she called (even though I dont think she did) and I didnt ask her. Still it was a pleasent conversation and no animosity, which will do for me even if it means nothing else.

 

Any thoughts?

[urbangentleman]

Simone, well my friend my opinion is that it has just hit her that infact you are not going to be around anymore and that your actions with her stuff ( a good move) have now confirmed this for her.I think she's just testing the waters, i mean if she didnt want to wake you up then what was she doing calling in the first place?????

 

She's seeing IMO, how you are reacting to her now that it's all said and done.Too late she cried!

[simon_uk]

Do you think Urb that I handled the conversation well? Didnt say anything to give her the wrong impression either way?

[urbangentleman]

Do you think Urb that I handled the conversation well? Didnt say anything to give her the wrong impression either way?

 

IMO you handled it very well. Civil, non emotional and straight to the point. Have to ask though, why do you seem so concerned with it?

[simon_uk]

I am just concerned that a) she wants something more from me, which may or may not be nice, I mean I love her but I dont know how I would react to it if she did want to reconcile. or worse b) that she continues contacting me now and again and I end up finding out something I dont want to hear ie she is with somebody new.

 

At this point I dont want to give her any indication as to how i feel nor do I want to be nasty or hostile with her as that is not really my character.

 

Just really want to know the best way to handle it, I should have really asked her what she called for but again I bottled out for fear of what I may hear.

 

I will just try to forget it happened again I guess

[urbangentleman]

Best to either have NC at all or simply be straightout with her and ask her what is the point of all this.If she says friendship or whatever then i guess, you can decide from there how you will feel about it.Probably just better tom leave it be for now.I too an in the same boat simon trying to decide whether or not to contact my ex via a friendly light email after 6 weeks NC?

[simon_uk]

As hard as it is Urban, in my opinion I would avoid making contact. It is just so distressing when you get the door slammed in your face. As you can see from my experience by not making contact I have given her space, given her time to cool down and now she is contacting me. It may not be for the reasons I hope but I am giving her the opportunity to make the moves. Just the slightest thing can create hostility if they are not ready for contact. So I would definitley advise leaving things a little while longer.

[urbangentleman]

Yes it is hard, i fight my thoughts daily.But you are probably right....and i have asked this ? a million times on here, but cant seem to get clarity....just how much time to pass is too long for contact?

 

I mean 6 weeks seems like an eternity to me...not sure about her, wouldn't have a clue whether she is thinking the same about me , because she knows how i feel and that she hurt me.

 

Anyway, i'm sure youre doing the right thing with your situation.

 

Regards

 

Urban

[The_Doc]

Simon

 

Don't build your hopes up on the basis of this call. I think you handled it well, aloof, indifferent, small talk -- only way to be. You know chatting with girl friends of mine it has become clear that the dumper (especially when it is a woman and when it is not a nasty break up) does miss the ex from time to time, thinks about them etc etc. BUT that it doesn't necessarily mean anything -- kind of like the way you miss a relative that has passed away or something!!

 

So chances are something triggered her memories of you, she felt a little lonely and called. If she wants more she can reach you.. carry on doing as well as you have.

 

My ex broke NC today. 9 days of nothing (ok not long but the longest for us) and then I get one litte instant message saying 'Hi how r u?'

 

I wasn't at my desk so I replied about 30 minutes later. Simply said: 'Good, and u. Not heard from you in a while, everything ok?' Did she reply? Of course not.. utterly bizarre. Anyway the dating with the newbie is going ok although having never had a casual relationship I am so worried about rebounding! One dilemma passes another emerges! Life eh?

 

Doing well my friend, proud of you.