DAY 9!!!

[PlayBrat]

Hey all....

This is day 9 of NC for me...yeah I know that's not much

but can I get a ..hell yeah?? LOL

I initiated NC as a way to disengage myself from someone I've known for about 8 months. He's not in a place to give me what I want, so I needed to distance myself. It IS hard. I would like to send him a "Happy Fathers Day" email...but I won't. Just my little mind trying to talk me out of this, but I won't allow it! For all of you doing NC.just keep reminding yourself of WHY you are doing it..and not WHY you shouldn't.

Don't do this as a game, do it as self preservation, and as a way to protect yourself and heal.

Good luck and stay strong everyone!!!!

[urbangentleman]

hey Play Brat,

 

good for you....as i'm sure you know i'm on week 6, and yes it is still hard somedays, anyway keep in believing in yourself and looking after YOU!

 

And if your having a bad day or whatever...PM ME.

 

I couls use the support too at times.

 

Thanks again

 

Regards

 

Urban

[Cassyniner]

Play Brat--You can of course get a big HELL YEAH!! Good for you! I am on day 13... hanging in there. I'm finding it helpful to write the ex letters that I don't plan to send. Funny we all sound like a twelve step program in here A bunch of recovering ex-aholoics! One day at a time is a good plan tho!

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Heck yeah!!! Sorry, don't say that other word. lol

 

Congrads, the beginning of NC is the hardest, you should be very proud of yourself. Keep up the good job! You have the right idea, one day at a time, it's the only way to do it I found.

 

Congrads again!

[Hope75]

LOL,

 

Woop woop!

[danimal77]

Hey Playbrat, I'm on day 14 myself...Actually, this Sunday will mark 6 full weeks of not having seen her, but I'm proud of the 2 week mark of having done nothing at all...

 

Keep yourself busy Playbrat. Even go out on dates to get your mind off of things (particularly him)...Most importantly, do things for yourself...

 

Each and every day that passes, will remind you that you are a strong and independent person, who can make her own happiness, with or without him (or any many for that matter)....

 

Don't think long-term, like I'll do this for another month and then check into see where he's at. Go for as long as you can and then when you think you can't go anymore, KEEP GOING!!! As a result, some crazy things will happen. You will become emotionally detached and if at that point, when you KNOW that you will no longer be affected by the outcome, the YOU can decide what you want to do at that point. You'll be using your head and not your heart...

 

You see, he used his head in making his decision to leave you, while your heart was fully engaged...The NC period forces you to have distance, which in turn allows you to get more in touch with you logic and that is what is crucial for your own sanity and well being and anything that comes from that is just topping on the cake...

 

Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss. I'm a lot LESS bothered by what I found out that Sunday. I'm once again in the position to offer some what I believe to be SOLID advice ...

 

Danimal

[PlayBrat]

Thanks everyone who has replied...

"WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP" LOL

 

I am going to take a break from thinking about all this..at least for the weekend. So I'll be taking a break from the forum.

I want to wish all the dads out there a very Happy Father's Day

Have a safe and Happy weekend!!!

[chai714]

Go for as long as you can and then when you think you can't go anymore, KEEP GOING!!! As a result, some crazy things will happen. You will become emotionally detached and if at that point, when you KNOW that you will no longer be affected by the outcome, the YOU can decide what you want to do at that point. You'll be using your head and not your heart...

 

You see, he used his head in making his decision to leave you, while your heart was fully engaged...The NC period forces you to have distance, which in turn allows you to get more in touch with you logic and that is what is crucial for your own sanity and well being and anything that comes from that is just topping on the cake...

 

Yes, Dan is right on here. To begin the process of emotional detachment, NC will do it. You must remember that NC is not a tactic though. Many on the boards figure it could be used as one, but it's sole purpose is to heal, regroup, and to get back some compusure. Usually, the person who wants the other back will be emotional after each conversation and will analyze each and every move of their "target." This is not healthy, and is emotionally draining.

 

As Dan said, you can decide later if you want to make contact. Often times, you realize that you might want to move forward and you'll be able to analyze his good qualites and bad, instead of keeping him on a pedastol. Good luck, stay busy, and do the things that make you happy. Now is the time to be selfish.

[cingularity83]

Its been 25 days since I last talked to her and seen her....its crazy to think that just a month ago we were with each other...but life is that crazy and you have to be prepared to handle and deal with it...its been 7 days since I've told her to stop contacting me and I'm working on rebuilding myself from the ground up..a whole new and different me...I don't even know if I'm ever going to contact her at all anymore....besides she left me.....which isn't necessarily a bad thing as long as its what she wanted to do...but then don't keep on contacting me....for what? to make me feel good about myself or something?...no I'm alright...now its my time to do what I WANT to do......and if that means not keeping contact with her anymore then thats how its got to be....

good luck to all of you out there going thru the motions...and remember pain is just weakness leaving your body...you can't be happy if you've never been sad...