Oh So Much Pain...

[guapa]

Hi all,

 

I posted about a week ago about how my boyfriend was speaking to me in an abusive way.

 

link removed

 

We got back together with his persuasion and I have been apprehensive about it. He really wants me to move in with him and I said o.k. But I've been feeling so doubtful because that wasn't the only time he got mad and said mean things to me, though that was by far the worst time. I've been working for days (at least 13 to 16 hours a day) and came over late last night after work to relax for just an hour with him after not seeing him for a few days (he lives next door so we usually hang out every day). About half the time he spent laughing with his housemate and then read some of his songs to me (he raps) and then said he was going to watch t.v. with his housemate, so I went home. I felt bummed cause he didn't even ask me about my week and I hadn't seen him all week and it was almost like (it felt like) he just didn't want to know about it.

 

So, I went home and emailed him saying that I felt apprehensive about moving in. I'd been feeling doubtful anyways. I wrote him a long email. He wrote me back saying that he knew what he did was wrong and that he'd promised he would never do it again and he knew that it was hard to believe without experience but that he was committed to it. And that he wanted us to live together so we could have lots of fun together this summer and get closer.

 

The thing is, that I feel like all his anger towards me has spoiled it for me. Part of me feels like letting him go, while part of me feels anxious and wants to call him. I wrote him back saying it didn't seem like he has much of an interest in what is going on with me and how I'm doing and he hasn't responded (though he knows that I don't get back from work til about right now or even a bit later).... I don't know, part of me knows I'm being extra sensitive because of what happened, but part of me also just really wants some attention from him to prove he won't do it again. Like I want him to tell me how much he loves me and wants me. And while he says he loves me, I'm not convinced its much love. It isn't like before when we first went out.

 

;( I don't know. I feel bad. I want to call him, but part of me wants to break up and move on. Part of me loves him so much and part of me is so dissappointed by his behavior and scared of being trapped in a relationship that is bad for me. Help!

[rilo82]

hi, i think you are just in a bad relationship. your bf shld not be causing you pain unless its pregnancy and he is the father.

 

so i think you shld weigh the pros/cons of being with him. but basically, i think you shld stay clear frm him. if he bugs you after a breakup, get restraining order. he is abusive. no good.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Although I think (and feel very strongly about this) that name calling and put downs should always be avoided, (and unless that personally intentionally hurt you probably otherwise always inexcusable) I am curious, what are the circumstances and the names/things he said to you? Something has me a little concerned here.