Has anyone found love with a rebound relationship?

[coolchick]

I was just wondering if anyone ever had a serious relationship with a person who they loved and thought they would spend the rest of their lives with, for that relationship to end and straight away start seeing someone else? Does this sort of relationship last if after 3 months you still dont feel anywhere near the same sort of attraction you felt with your ex?

[RayKay]

Has not happened to me that quickly...I usually have at least 3 months between relationships...however one of my close friends broke up with his live in girlfriend of three years, and within a couple weeks or so started seeing a new girl (he knew her before from university, but had never developed more than a casual acquantainceship with beforehand). They recently were married after being together a couple years now and very happy with one another. So yes, it can work.

 

But I would say if you are not "feeling" it you are likely not ready to move on and it may not develop very far or be the right person for you. You just might fear being alone.

[heartbroken23]

I ask the same question....I didn't hink it would work. My ex (together 5 years) started "seeing" someone relatively quickly after we broke up. During this time she sent me mixed signals, told friends she didn't think it would work, missed me, said she fears being alone etc.....but it is coming up on a year, and they are still together. I don't know how long rebounds generally last. I wonder if after a year it could still be a rebound?

[starion]

i think there are could be a number of reasons whether it works out or not.

for me it didn't, after about 2-3 months of being happy or so i thought, my thoughts turned back. I fought them for another 2 months and couldn't take it anymore.

Was mine a rebound, i genuienly didn't thinks so but maybe it was.

 

But I know plenty of examples that go either way. My friends wife after 7 years together left and eventually married that other one and has a kid now. She called him for up to a year afterwards though, not wanting to get back but rather maybe because she couldn't forget, who knows.

 

As far as being married:

both dumpers and dumpees are very vulnerable and can make illogical decisions like get married to someone after being with them for 3 months. I wouldn't take it a sign of true happiness or love.

[Jetta]

Love no, comfort yes, but that relationship lasted nearly 8 years. Which was much longer than the one I was rebounding from.

[loveydovey]

Well, I started dating someone right after i broke up with my ex and we became monogamous (and i use the term loosely (because of him)) after 2 months. I thought it was real. We talked about the future and family and kids. Professed love for each other. So of course, I didnt think it was simply a rebound relationship. But 6 months later, it was over (long story there). There were some reasons I should not have agreed to be in a relationship with him, but I chose to overlook them and I now in hindsight believe that I let things slide just for the sake of being in a relationship. I had ended a 3 1/2 year relationship and was talking to or 'dating' someone else by the end of the week. Now in my case, I will admit it was definitely a bit quick (understatement). It was not healthy and it was not wise. So for me, maybe it was just the guy, but a rebound relationship did not work.

[Hope75]

I lived with and was engaged to a man for 5 years. 6 days after I left him I started dating someone new and fell very much in love with him. The relationship lasted 2 years. I do have to say that the 5 year relationship should have ended about 2 years earlier than it did.

 

I think in the right circumstances it can work, but I think as a majority rule, no it doesn't generally work.

[coolchick]

I know its different with each different person. As in the past relationship before will have a major effect on what you want in the next partner. My ex who i was with for nearly 4 years ended things out of the blue. 2 days before he ended it he asked what i would do if he asked to marry me. I even found out from mutual friends that he was planning in proposing to me in august on our holiday to Paris. We only planned the only a couple of weeks before he ended it. Thats why im so confused. He wouldnt want to have proposed or anything if he wasnt happy and was planning on ending it. Still to this day he doesnt give me the true reason, it changed every time i spoke to him so i still havent a clue what happened. When we first broke up he was still calling and texting saying how much he missed me and wasnt sure if his decision was right. Then i heard he was going out with someone from his new job that he had only recently started. I was devastated. He still calls now and again and texts saying how depressed is he and that he's only going out with this girl to get over me. I dont understand why he's doing this If he doesnt want to be with her, then surely he should just end it. Or will he eventually fall in love with her if im out the picture. Thats what im scared of

[katefl24]

I guess the answer that you want is that rebound relatinships don't work.. I think anyone whose ex goes into a "rebound" relationship before they are really over them wants it to NOT work out, to prove that the ex couldn't possibly have gotten over you that quickly. (Thus making you the loser who couldn't let go and move on..)

 

My answer is kind of mixed. I guess I was/am the rebound girl for my b/f, a few weeks out of a 2 year relatioship with a girl I think he though he would be with forever. And it' been almost a year now so in that aspect it can work. However, looking back on things he probably shouldn't have started dating me so soon. I could tell at times that he wasn't completely over her yet and it has made me very insecure. We've discussed it and he said he couldn't help the timing, he just liked me so much even though he was PLANNING on taking a "long break" from dating anyone. And I knew I shouldn't date him but wanted to anyway so that was my fault. And, she continues to be a problem between us in that she just won't go away for good...Trying to stay friends with him...

 

So, I guess it can work but I think there are always issues for all involved when someone goes out of a serious relationship and into another very soon. Everyone is to blame, but it creates unpleasantries. From my end, I wish she'd just accept that he's with me now and stay out of our lives. But from where you sit, she's probably doing exactly what you are: hoping that if she hangs in there (as his friend), eventually we'll break up and he'll realize she is the one for him.. I don't know what to tell you, give it some time but if he continues to date this girl then just accept it and move on.